


Love In Odd Places

by LokisMischiefMaker



Category: Avengers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:13:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 69,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5436044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokisMischiefMaker/pseuds/LokisMischiefMaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Loki wasn't locked in the dungeons after the Battle of New York? What if instead of he was banished to Midgard? And what if Steve Rogers decides to take the task of helping the God of Mischief get used to living on Midgard? Living together, Steve and Loki are going to have to learn how to deal with each other. That includes learning things they never knew about each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys, this is my first Stoki fanfic and also my first explicit fanfic. Hope you guys enjoy! Also, if any of you know of places in New York you'd like Loki and Steve to visit make sure to put it in the comments. I've never been to New York.

“Loki Odinson of Asgard, for your acts of treason against the crown and against the nine realms, I banish you from Asgard and strip you of your title as prince and God of Mischief.”  
It felt like all the air had left my lungs as the fear finally washed over me. On the outside I made sure to keep my composure, not willing to show those lesser than me my own vulnerability, but on the inside I was screaming and shaking with fear.  
Thor looked outraged as he looked up at his father. “You cannot be serious, Father!”  
Odin looked down upon his eldest son, his strong bright boy, “I am very serious, Thor.”  
Thor looked to me but I only gave him a look of indifference before he looked back to his father, “Throw him in the dungeon! Lock him in his room! Forbid him from ever stepping foot into the library! But do not banish him!”  
Frigga looked between me to her husband and rested a hand on his arm, “Please reconsider, love. There are other ways-“  
“Silence!” Odin shouted as he stood up and looked between myself, Thor and his wife. “The decision has been made. You have one night, Loki Odinson, to gather your things and then you will be escorted to the Bifrost where you will be sent to your new home.”  
“And wherever will that be,” I sneered at my adopted father, “Sir?”  
Odin looked old as he tried to think of the best place to send me, his disappointment of a son.  
Thor took a step forward, “Please, Father, if you are to truly banish Loki, let me choose his new home. He’s many enemies, I know where he can go where he will be protected but also receive penance for his crimes.”  
“Yes, husband, let Thor send him some place. Please, we must protect our son-“  
“He should have thought about that before he committed treason!” Odin shouted again, his frustration with all that was transpiring showing through his one blue eye.  
“Father, please, I beg of you show mercy.”  
Odin sighed and shook his head, “I shall think on it. For now, I am retreating to my office to think on the matter.”  
Thor nodded and Frigga rose and watched as her husband quickly left the room without another word. She took the few steps down to where Thor and I stood looking at her. Ignoring Thor’s warnings, Frigga undid my bindings and pulled my into a warm embrace.  
“Oh, my precious baby boy, I am so sorry.”  
I stood there for a moment, momentarily shocked by the embrace and the words, before slowly wrapping my arms around my mother’s slim waist. Forgetting, or more like not caring, that others were around, I buried my face in the crook of Frigga’s neck and finally let the tears fall. “No, Mother, I am the one who is sorry.”  
Frigga ran her fingers gently through my black hair, “Hush, my son, everything will be all right. Thor and I will do everything in our power to make sure you are safe and protected.”  
Thor rested a gentle hand on my back reassuringly as he spoke, “Should Father allow me to choose where you are to be banished to, I know a place where you will be accepted.”  
I groaned as I looked up at my oaf of a brother, “I don’t know which would be worse. Odin sending me most likely to Nifilheim. Or you sending me to Midgard.”  
Thor gave a sad smile, not taking the bait. “The midgardians will watch over you well, Brother.”  
I pulled away from my mother and gave her a small smile before turning to look at my brother, “I doubt that.”  
Thor sighed and looked at Frigga, “I must go seek counsel with my fellow Avengers; I will be back before the morn.”  
Frigga smiled and kissed her oldest son on the cheek, “Safe trip, my golden boy. Loki and I will wait in his bed chambers for your return.”  
Thor nodded before striding out of the room, heading to the Bifrost.  
Frigga looked at me and caressed my cheek in a way only a mother could that would show how much love she had for me, her adopted son. “Come, let us go to your chambers and get packed.”  
I nodded and took my mother’s warm hand in my cold one.  
Together, we walked out of the throne room and walked down the golden halls of the castle.  
“So,” Frigga smiled and tried to hold a light conversation hoping to distract me from my thoughts, “wherever it is you settle, would you mind if your mother stopped by to visit once in awhile?”  
I shrugged as I walked down the long wide corridors to my chambers. “Do as you wish, Mother, I cannot stop you either way.”  
“Oh, come now, Loki, don’t be like that.”  
“Be like what? After tonight I will have no home, no family, not even a title. Tell me, what shall I be, Mother.”  
Frigga looked at me, tears coming to her eyes, “No matter if you live on Asgard, Midgard, or Nifilheim, I will always be your mother, Loki.”  
I nodded but didn’t say another word. I was tired and just wanted to go lay down and never wake up.  
The rest of the walk to my bed chambers was done in silence as we both took small relief in each other’s presence that was ultimately going to be the last time.

Once at the tall doors that would lead to my room, I stopped and looked at Frigga, “I wish to be alone.”  
Frigga looked at me and recognized the expression on my face. “What are you thinking of doing, Loki?”  
I shrugged, knowing my mother knew very well what was on my mind. “I’m thinking of going into my room and packing for my departure.” Only a half lie.  
My mother sighed, “I know what you are thinking, Loki, and please, just wait until Thor comes back. If your father allows Thor to decide what shall be done with you everything will be alright. If he chooses not to let Thor decide, I will support you in any way you need me to.”  
“You would go against your husband’s words for a monster such as myself?” I looked at the woman who raised me with shock written on my face.  
She smiled and cupped my cheeks in her gentle, motherly hands, “You are not a monster, Loki. You were never a monster. You are my son. My sweet, dark, intelligent boy. Ever since the first time I held you in my arms, I knew you would amount to great things. Odin never should have tried to do anything else but love you.”  
“Odin never loved me,” I looked away from Frigga, anger building up inside of me at the memories of Thor always be favored over myself.  
Frigga smiled, “He does love you, Loki, and that scares him. He meant for you to be a way to unite two kingdoms, but like I, he fell in love with you. It’s because he loves you that he is banishing you. I begged him not to let you be locked away in the dungeons for the rest of eternity.”  
“So instead you would rather have me cast aside like a weak infant yet again?” I felt the anger growing inside my black heart. Felt the hatred build and encompass the remaining pieces of my heart that it had yet to touch. After all the torture I went through after I-  
No! I must not think of it! I could not! I was not going to let my mind torture me further with thoughts of the past. I was not a weakling!  
“I am not abandoning you, Loki, I am merely finding another way to protect you.”  
I scowled at the woman I had called my mother my whole life. “I do not need your protection! I am no longer the infant child you had brought in out of pity all those years ago. I can protect myself!”  
I pushed open my chamber doors a stalked inside, not caring if Frigga followed or not. I had a time limit, and time was running out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a visit from Thor

“Please, friend Steve, I beg of you to help my brother.”  
This was a statement he never thought he’d hear from the thunder god. Steve had been sitting at home sketching pictures of his friends from both past and present when the god of thunder came in through his door. The sudden arrival startled Steve and he had jumped up from his chair, dropping his sketchpad and pencils onto the chair he was sitting in.  
The look on Thor’s face was one of sadness and hope when he asked to speak with Steve. Being a friend, Steve gave Thor a reassuring smile and gestured for him to have a seat on the couch.  
“So, what’s going on Thor? How can I help?”  
“Can you help my brother?”  
The words had startled Steve worse than the appearance of the strong muscular god barging in. Steve sat still for a few minutes trying to understand if he heard Thor correctly. “Um… What?”  
“My brother’s trial was today and my father gave out his sentencing.” Thor looked at Steve with bright shining blue eyes as he remembered the events of the trial. “My brother has been banished from Asgard.”  
“Gee, Thor, I’m sorry. I know that’s gotta suck, but what do you want me to do about it? I can’t change your dad’s mind.”  
“No, of course not. No one could do that. I ask that you let Loki come stay with you here on Midgard for the time being until he can find a way to make his own way here.”  
Steve looked at Thor like he had five heads. Let Loki stay here? With him? No way! Loki had tried to kill not only him, but his teammates and most of New York as well. “I’m sorry, Thor, but I can’t.”  
“Please, friend Steve, I beg of you to help my brother. I already asked the man of iron and he refuses. I would ask the good doctor but he lives with Tony and Tony won’t let Loki anywhere near his house again. I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t have any other choice.”  
Steve sighed, why was he seriously considering this? Loki was a murderer. He was a villain. He was a bully. Steve hated bullies. He always had and always will. There was absolutely no way-  
But the look on Thor’s face made Steve stop and consider it. Thor wanted to do anything he could to save his brother, including coming to Steve for help. Sure, Loki was a bully, but people could change right?  
“If I say no, where would he go?”  
Thor’s face contorted into anguish as he thought of his brother’s might be home, “Nifilheim. It’s the place where Helheim is located just beneath. It is a disasterly place where Loki would barely survive. The weather is harsh and the terrain is even harsher.”  
It would be so easy to say no, right? Loki belonged somewhere that would treat him the way he treated everyone else. He deserved to be punished! But even as Steve thought this he already knew the answer to Thor’s question. Whether the super soldier wanted to admit it or not, he knew the answer the moment the question was asked.   
“When will he be joining me? I may need to get a few things to accommodate-”  
Steve couldn’t finish his sentence before he was pulled out of his chair and into the thunder god’s bulky arms in a strong hug. If it was back before the serum, Thor would have crushed every bone in Steve’s body in that one hug. Now, however, all it managed was to make Steve feel like he was a rag doll. “Thank you so much, friend Steve! I will forever be indebted to you!”  
Finally Thor let go and Steve took a slight step back to regain his balance. “Really, Thor, it’s no problem. Long as Loki doesn’t try to harm anyone, myself included, he is free to come here.”  
Thor smiled and clapped Steve on the back sending him a step forward from the power of it. “Thank you. Loki and I will return tomorrow around the same time. Now, I must return to Asgard to inform my mother and brother.”  
Steve nodded and bent down to pick up his sketchbook. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”  
Thor nodded before leaving the apartment, a slight bounce in his step as he left.  
Steve sighed and put the sketchpad and pencil down on the coffee table before looking around at his tiny apartment.   
How was he going to fit himself and Loki in this place? It was a three room apartment. A kitchen/living room that was big enough for a small puzzle table and two chairs to one corner of the kitchen, a couch to separate the kitchen from the living room. He somehow managed to squeeze in a recliner in the corner of the living room so it faced both the door on one side and the window on the other. He had a flat screen TV mounted on his wall which Tony had graciously installed for him including cable, a BluRay player, and Netflix.  
The two other rooms consisted of a master bedroom and a guest bedroom which he had converted into an art studio. There was a bathroom set between both rooms along the short hallway, leaving one wall bare so he hung up pieces of artwork from his time along the hall.  
He was still contemplating on how he was going to set up his apartment for the new tenant when his phone started ringing, playing “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath which Tony had set for his ringtone.  
Sighing, Steve picked up his phone and answered it, “Yes, Tony?”  
Tony’s voice carried over the line accompanied with some AC/DC song blaring in the background, “Hey, Cap, you would not believe what Thunderdome just asked of me!”  
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose as he responded, “Did you really have to be so mean to Thor? He was asking a favor.”  
“So he did ask you. Please tell me you said no?” When Steve didn’t reply right away Tony groaned, “No, of course not. You said yes. Look, Spangles, I know you want to be a do gooder and all, take in beaten abandon cats in off the street, but Loki is not that! He’s not even close to a regular hissy house cat! He’s evil! Must I spell it out for you?”  
“What else was I supposed to do, Tony? Thor asked me to help save his brother, I couldn’t say no and have a clear conscience in the end.”  
“Yes, you could have. I do.” The billionaire genius groaned again as his mind started racing with thoughts. “Alright, this is what we’ll do. We can’t have Reindeer Games messing with your head, so you and he will be moving into the tower until-”  
“No,” Steve cut Tony off before he could get any more ideas, “You told Thor Loki wasn’t allowed at the tower and I respect that. I understand you don’t want him in your home after his last visit, so I’ll make sure he doesn’t step foot in there.”  
“Look, Cap, you can forget about that for now. It would be a bad idea for you to be left alone with tall, dark, and crazy. He might corrupt you.”  
“I’m hanging up now, Tony.” Steve was getting annoyed with Tony’s insistence and rolled his eyes as he listened to the genius.  
“Alright, alright, alright! Scratch that idea. Look, I'm coming over to your place and help you get set up. I'll bring over some equipment from Stark Industries and we’ll get a security system setup.” Steve could hear Tony rummaging through things on the other line of the phone.  
He sighed. If he didn't let Tony help get the apartment ready, Tiny would ultimately take his advantage to do so when he's out like he did with the TV.  
“Fine, but I say what we use. No going behind my back if I say no, deal?”  
Tony was silent for a few minutes which was unlike him. “Tony?”  
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, right. Deal,” Tony finally replied.  
“You better keep this promise, Tony.”  
“Of course I'll keep it, Spangles. Who do you think I am?”  
Steve didn't replied, just told Tony he'd see him when he gets to the apartment before hanging up. Once off the phone, he decided to go try and make a spare room out of the art studio. He walked down the hall to the spare room and sighed.  
“Well,” Steve said out loud to himself, “I could put the easel in my room. There’s a bit of space in there.”  
He sighed before determining he needed music. He left the room, heading back to the living to turn on his record player. He put in his favorite record that played Ella Fitzgerald’s song Dream A Little Dream Of Me. Steve stood there listening to the music and remembering his mother dancing with him around their tiny apartment to this song. Shaking his head, Steve came back to the present and went to the art studio to start moving things. He started with the easel first, moving that into the open space in his bedroom. He had to move his dresser over a bit in order to fit the easel, but that didn't take long. Even after a year of living in the apartment, Steve hadn't gotten much stuff. He was content with only the necessary things. A bed, a dresser, a nightstand where all the things in his bedroom. He had hung up the sketches of his friends that he had drawn starting with Bucky and ending with the Avengers.  
Once finished with the task of moving the easel, he went back into the studio and hummed. He needed to get a bed, a dresser, a nightstand to accommodate a person living in the room. He didn't know anything Loki liked to do. Now that he thought of it, he should have asked Thor what Loki enjoyed doing.  
A knock on the door disturbed his thoughts and he called out, “Doors open!”  
He heard the door open and close before he heard footsteps walking towards him. A few seconds later, Tony appeared in the doorway. “How the hell are you going to fit Reindeer Games in this tiny apartment, Capsicle?”  
Steve looked at Tony who was dressed in jeans and a black AC/DC shirt. He turned to look back at the room and shrugged, “I've no clue. But somehow I've got to manage it.”  
“You sure you don't want to move into the tower? You'd have much more space and-”  
“No, Tony, I appreciate the offer but I don't want a hand out.”  
Tony looked at Steve and shook his head, “It's not a hand out. Think of it as a way to keep extra eyes on Mr. Crazy Pants.”  
Steve shook his head, “No, we’ll be fine here, Tony, end of discussion.”  
Tony sighed before looking around the room again. “Hey, if you need a place to store your art stuff, there's a place at the tower that has a lot of natural light that you can turn into your own studio.”  
I looked at Tony surprise, “You're kidding.”  
“No,” Tony looked at Steve, his brown eyes looking into Steve’s blue ones. “I'm serious, Cap. If you want your own personal studio you can use the room. At least until Rock of Ages is out of here.”  
Steve almost said no, he didn't want to be indebted to Tony Stark. However, the thought was too tempting. Finally he sighed, he was doing that a lot today, “Okay, but only until Loki is gone.”  
A smile lit up the billionaire’s face, “Great! I'll call Pepper and have her get everything arranged!”

In the end, Steve’s apartment was prepared for the God of Mischief. He had the bedroom set up with a new bed, dresser, and nightstand all courtesy of Tony. The genius and super soldier had a long argument over who was going to buy it, and Tony won by pointing out that he had more money. Steve only gave in after Tony reminded him that he'd need to save his money because he'd be taking care of not just one person, but two. Although the soldier didn't like it, he knew Tony was right.  
After sending Tony away for the night with a promise to call the moment Loki was settled in, Steve went into his bedroom and got ready for bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	3. Chapter 3

I stood at the Bifrost along with my mother, Thor, Odin, and Heimdall waiting to be sent away to my new home. I still didn't know where I was going and Odin seemed to be taking his sweet time prolonging the announcement.  
Finally my patience ran thin and I sneered at the old man, “Are you going to stand there all day, old man? Stay any longer and you might turn to stone.”  
Odin scowled at me, “Fine, if you are that eager to be rid of us.”  
“I'm eager to be rid of you and this pathetic place.”  
Odin shook his head before looking at Thor. “The time has come to decide where Loki shall now call home. Thor, as you are to be the next king I have decided to let you decide where your brother shall be banished to.”  
Thor nodded and turned to gave me a small smile. “Thank you, Father. I have decided that Loki shall spend out his days on Midgard where he will be watched over by the warrior Steve Rogers.”  
I groaned and Frigga gave me a disapproving look. I rolled my eyes and nodded, “Because sending me to Midgard is such a great idea, Thor, thank you.”  
My brother looked at me, his blue eyes full of sadness. “The captain will take care of you, Brother. He will give you shelter and food-”  
“I could give two shits to what that pathetic midgardian could do for me. I do not need his help, nor do I need help from you, Brother.”  
“Please, Brother, this is as hard on me as it is on you,” Thor pleaded with me.  
I knew I was being an ass to him when all he was doing was trying to help me, but I couldn’t bear to let the oaf help me. I didn’t need his help. I didn’t need anyones help. I could do just fine on my own.  
You mean like last time?  
I shook my head. I needed to ignore the voice. It was unusual that the voice would speak to me when I wasn’t alone, but I managed to make pretend that I wasn’t hearing its whispers.  
Apparently Odin got tired of talking because he turned to Heimdall with a nod. “Loki Odinson, you are hereby banished to Midgard where you will spend the rest of your days living amongst the humans you so desperately tried to destroy. Heimdall, whenever you are ready.”  
I took my place in front of the Bifrost ready to bet cast out of the realm I knew of as home. Frigga hugged me before stepping back to stand beside Odin. Thor stood beside me, he was to go with me so he could lead me to my captor, the super soldier.  
Heimdall got the Bifrost ready before sending us down to Midgard.

I stood in the midgardian’s house and decided I already hated it here. It was too small for barely one average sized man, I do not understand how the super soldier managed to fit himself into the cramped space.  
Thor didn’t stay around long after he brought me to this pathetic excuse of a home, choosing instead to go find his precious mortal.  
Currently, the man out of time was showing me to my room and I was wishing for the cells in the dungeon. The room was a bit smaller than the living room/kitchen, making me surprised to see that a bed, wardrobe, and night table could fit in the tiny room.  
“This will be your room for your stay. I know it's not big and it's not much, but it'll do. Thor didn't tell me what you liked so I only got the essentials, but if there's anything you'd like we can get you it.” The midgardian looked at me, his blue eyes friendly but a little closed off.  
I looked around the room again, “So this shall be my prison. I must say, the cells in Asgard are much better. At least they're bigger.”  
“It's not a prison, Loki. Thor said your only punishment was that you were banished. I'm not here to be your prison guard or your babysitter. I'm just here to help you figure out how to live here on Earth.”  
Might as well be a prison, I thought.  
Instead of saying this I scowled at him, "I guess it will do for now."  
My words seem to please the super soldier because he smiled at me, "Great. I'm going to go make dinner, is there anything you want?"  
"And what makes you think you're midgardian food would please me?" I sneered at the man.  
He sighed, why do I get the feeling he does that a lot? "At least give it a try. If you don't like it I'll talk with Thor and see about getting you food from Asgard."  
I rolled my eyes and went to sit on my new bed. It was soft enough, almost as soft as my bed in Asgard. "Fine, I'll give it a try."  
The captain smiled, "Great. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything." He turned to leave the room and I let my body begin to relax a bit. Before he even left the room, however, he turned to smile at me, "Oh, and Loki? If there's anything you want let me know. I want you to be comfortable here. This is your home as well as mine."  
I nodded, hoping it was a good enough answer to please the soldier. It was for her turned and left the room, leaving my to myself.

About an hour later the captain stuck his head into the room, "Dinners done."  
I was laying on my back on the bed with my eyes closed, "I am not hungry"  
I heard him come into the room to stand in front of me, "Loki, you need to eat something."  
I opened my eyes and sat up, glaring up at him as I said, "I told you, I am not hungry."  
His arms were crossed over his chest as he looked down at me with those shiny blue eyes of his. "Loki, I understand this isn't the kind of place you are used to. I also understand you would rather be anywhere but here. But you need to eat."  
I laid back down and closed my eyes, ignoring the man hoping he would leave. He didn't. I heard him sigh, again, before he said, "At least come sit with me. There's something I want to discuss with you."  
"Must I?"  
"Yes, you must. Now, you can either come free of will, or I'll be forced to drag you out. Your choice."  
I opened my eyes and sat up again, glaring at the muscular man, "You wouldn't dare touch me."  
He smiled at me, "Oh, trust me, I would."  
I growled at him but stood up and brushed by him leaving the room. Whatever concoction the super soldier had created it at least smelled decent. The midgardian followed me into the room and went to the counter where the food was sitting. He got a plate and loaded it up with what I assume is food.  
He smiled at me, "It's meatloaf and macaroni and cheese. All my ma's homemade recipe. I can't stand the new boxed macaroni so I've taken to using what my ma taught me."  
I walked over to stand beside him and looked at the food. "And what, if I may ask, is in this 'meatloaf?'"  
"Well, I put hamburgers as the meat, obviously, along with milk, eggs, bread, ketchup, garlic salt, onions, and peppers."  
I nodded and the captain handed me a plate. I groaned to myself before putting the loaf of meat onto the plate along with the macaroni and cheese. The super soldier went and sat down at the table and started eating. When he saw me standing there he gestured to the other chair.  
I eyed the chair suspiciously, wondering if it was stable to sit on, before going over and sitting down. To my surprise it didn't break. I set the plate of food on the table and looked at the food. Resigning myself to my fate, I took a small fork full of the meat before taking a bit. The different flavors assaulted my taste buds and I was surprised to find it actually taste...good.  
The captain smiled at me when I took another bite, this time bigger. "So, does it meet your approval?"  
I nodded, "It will suffice."  
We sat in silence for a few minutes, both of us just enjoying the food instead of talking. After our plates were almost empty the soldier looked at me and said, "So, we need to lay out a few ground rules."  
I looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "I thought you said this was not a prison, Captain."  
"You're right, it's not. But we do still need to discuss some house rules, just things to make living with each other bearable."  
I nodded, "Alright."  
"First," he started, his blue clear eyes met mine as he spoke, "you need to communicate with me. I know that's going to be a struggle but you need to talk with me."  
I scowled, "Why would I want to talk with you?"  
“Well, for starters you don't know anyone here besides me and the other Avengers; and let's face it most of them hate you. So you're gonna need someone to talk to. On top of that, you're going to need to tell me if you are ever having issues. The only way this is gonna work is if we communicate with each other.”  
“And if I choose not to?”  
The captain shook his head, “You need to, Loki. I understand all this is hard but-”  
I slammed my fist down on the table and glared at him, “What do you understand, Captain? You could never possibly understand what it’s like. To be ripped from your home. To find out your whole life has been nothing but a complete utter lie. To be tossed into an abyss by your brother. To hate yourself for being the monster that everyone knows you are. You do not understand anything, and don’t you dare pretend to know anything!”  
I was breathing hard when I finished speaking, and the man out of time just sat there, watching me, waiting for me to be finished before he spoke, “You may not think it, Loki, but I do understand. I do know what it’s like to be ripped from my home. You said it before, I’m the man out of time. Did you forget that? I’m not in my own time anymore. Sure I’m from around here, I grew up in Brooklyn, but now everything’s changed. These aren’t the streets I grew up on anymore. Everything is all electronic and different. So yeah, I do understand that.  
“I also understand being tossed into an abyss, on two different occasions. Granted it wasn’t me who fell, not at first. I couldn’t reach my best friend, my brother, in time enough to save him and he fell. Unlike you, though, he can’t come back to me. The other time, well, it wasn’t an abyss but I did fly a plane into the water where I was frozen for seventy years.  
“On top of that, I understand what it’s like to hate yourself. For years I hated how weak I was. I would constantly get beaten up for how small I was. I had asthma and was constantly sick. Most the time Bucky had to come and save my ass from being beaten up in the alleys because I couldn’t finish my own fight.  
“I may not understand everything about you, Loki, but there are things I do understand. I get this is hard for you. You are going to have to learn how to live your own life in a place you don’t understand. But trust me, I’ve been in that place, I still am. Maybe together, you and I can learn this world and learn how to function.” He settled his blue eyes on mine as he finished talking.  
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I did need his help if I was going to survive living on Midgard. I also knew, even though I’ve given the captain no reason to help me, he still wanted to help. I looked away from him and closed my eyes. “There are things you will never understand no matter how hard you try, Captain, and I am one of those things. Please, do not concern yourself with my needs. I’m capable of figuring things out on my own.”  
The captain shook his head as he finished his food before getting up and going to the sink. “You can’t just do it on your own, Loki. You don’t understand this world.”  
I shook my head and rolled my eyes, “I understand this world perfectly fine.”  
The super soldier turned around quickly and glared at me, “Oh yes, you understand it so well that you thought you could rule this world by force and fear. You understand nothing of Earth. You can’t just make everyone bow down to you and make them do anything and everything that you ask of them.”  
“I am a king, they should bow to-”  
“Not here! You are not a king here. Especially here in America. Here we vote who we want to help us achieve the best way of life. You can’t march in here and tell me you understand the workings of this planet, this country. Do you even realize that it's going to be difficult for you here? Everyone knows who you are.” I smirked at that and the captains glare hardened, “It's not in a good way either, Loki. People hate you. Everyone knows what you did and they hate you for it. I'm trying to help you because it's the right thing to do. I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for Thor.”  
“Of course it's for Thor,” I sneered at the mortal. “Everyone always does what that oaf asks of them.”  
He sighed and turned to start putting the food away and washing the dishes. “That's not it at all, Loki. I could have told Thor no, I almost did, but it wasn't the right thing to do. You deserve a second chance, if not on Asgard, here on Earth."  
"I won't change my ways just to please you and other mortals."  
“I’m not asking you to change anything, Loki. I believe in justice, and sometimes that justice is better served by taking responsibilities for your actions.”  
“And what,” I asked the captain, my green eyes watching him as he moved about the kitchen washing dishes, “would you suggest I do to take responsibilities?”  
He shrugged, looking at me over his shoulder a bit. “I don’t know. Help clean up? There’s still a lot of building in repair for the damage you caused and there’s still rubble all over the streets. You can help there volunteering. You did cause the mess.”  
“You would have me partake in commoners work?”  
“Well, you are the reason all this cleanup is needed.”  
I stood up quickly almost knocking the chair over, “I was not the only cause!”  
The captain turned around, water and soap dripping from his hands. “You’re right, you weren’t. However, unlike you, we’ve all done our part to help make up for it.”  
I glared at the captain and started walking away, “I will not be made to do the work of a commoner. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going back to my cage.”  
The soldier didn’t say anything to me, didn’t even move to stop me. I walked to my room and slammed the door behind me before sitting on my bed running a hand through my black hair. Why did my oaf of a brother place me here with this righteous man? How could he even think this was a good idea? When I see that oaf again I will make sure to strangle him.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve sighed and finished up cleaning this dishes. That was not at all how he wanted the dinner to go. He was hoping to have a pleasant conversation with the God of Mischief, not make the god upset. Oh, who was he kidding, there was no way he was going to have a pleasant conversation with Loki. He didn’t even understand why he was taking the god in and trying to help him.  
“Please, friend Steve, I beg of you to help my brother.” Thor’s words crossed his mind again and he groaned.  
Right, he was doing this because Thor had asked it of him to help his brother. Even if Thor hadn’t asked, Steve knew he would rather Loki was here than wherever else they would have sent him. It was justice to send Loki to cleanup his own mess.  
Steve shook his head before turning off the lights and heading to his room to go to bed. He stripped out of his clothes before putting on his cotton blue sweatpants and climbing into bed, curling up under the covers.  
He laid in bed, looking up at the ceiling hoping he wouldn’t have another ice dream that was leave him freezing for majority of the next day. Finally the exhaustion overcame him and he was drifting into sleep.

“No!” Steve shouted and sat bolt upright in bed. He looked around the room, his heart pounding rapidly in his chest.  
The dream that had startled him awake was now receding fast and he was beginning not to remember why he even woke up. He looked at the clock on his nightstand and it read 5:32. He sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep now, might as well go for a run. He got out of bed and stretched out his sleep stiffened muscles. He grabbed a pair of black running pants and a white tank top before leaving his room. He went into the hallway just went Loki was coming out of the bathroom, his black hair tousled by sleep and his green eyes slightly unfocused.  
Loki was only wearing a pair of dark green silk pajama pants, leaving his chest bare. The god glared sleepily at the soldier before shoving past him without a single word. Steve watched the god retreat back into his room and slammed the door behind him.  
Shaking his head, Steve went into the bathroom to relieve his bladder before going to the living room to put his running shoes on. He grabbed his house keys off the hook beside the door and left the apartment.   
He ran in his usual route for almost an hour before stopping in at the bakery picking up a dozen donuts before heading back to the apartment now that the sun was fully up.  
When he walked into the apartment he was surprised to find Loki sprawled across the couch with the TV on and the remote in his hand. He was still dressed in just his pajama pants, and he was laying with his arm curled under his head, his green eyes hidden under his eyelids. Slow even breaths made his chest rise and fall as he slept peacefully.  
Quietly Steve closed the door behind him and took his shoes off before taking the donuts into the kitchen. He looked at the TV to see the news playing showing some of the cleanups going on around the city. He wasn’t sure if Loki had put the TV on this channel on purpose or if he fell asleep in the middle of trying to find something to put on.  
He shook his head while he opened the box of donuts and got a glazed donut. He ate the donut before heading to the bathroom and stripping out of his sweaty clothes and climbing into the shower, turning it on all with the heat all the way up. He waited for the water to come to temp before stepping under the streams of water coming from the shower head. He let the water flow over him, washing away the sweat and dirt before grabbing the soap and washing his body. After he washed the suds away he grabbed the shampoo and began washing his hair, going through the motions of washing away all the sweat, dirt, and grime from his body before shutting off the shower and stepping out.  
He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist before opening the door to-  
Loki stood in front of the bathroom door, looking almost surprised before he arranged his expression to read one as bored. Steve stood there, unaware he was staring.  
Loki looked at Steve and scowled, “Much as you are pleasing to the eye, I'd rather not stand here staring at you. Now, if you would be kind enough to move so that I may take a bath?"  
Steve nodded as he stepped out of the bathroom and walked into his bedroom closing the door behind him. He shook his head, Why was I staring?  
He didn't let the thought stay in his mind long, choosing instead to get ready for the day. He put on a pair of blue jeans and a white button up shirt on. Once he we dressed he went out to the kitchen to get another donut. Loki was still in the bathroom and so Steve went and sat down on the couch to watch some TV.  
A half hour later, Loki finally came out of the bathroom. Steve was up sweeping the floors when he heard Loki come into the room. He looked up at the god and saw he was still dressed in only the green pants and water was still dripping from his black hair down onto his chest. Seeing the god like this made his hands twitch in the way they would anytime he wanted to sketch someone. He cleared his throat as went back to sweeping.  
“There’s donuts on the counter if you’re hungry.”  
The god nodded before going and sitting on the couch. They stayed in silence with only the TV and the swish of the broom being the only noise. Finally, Steve looked at Loki and said, “So, I was thinking we should go out today and start trying to get you acquainted with life here. Maybe go check out places you’d like to help out at or-”  
The god turned to look at Steve, his green eyes glowing with anger, “I told you, I am not interested.”  
“Well, you’ve got to do something, Loki. You can’t just sit here in this apartment and pout your days away. You need to join the world, no matter how much you hate it.”  
It went silent again except for the sound of the broom being dragged across the floor with each sweep.  
“You said last night, everyone hates me here. How do you think they would react to seeing me? You realize sending me out into the world would just be dangerous?”  
“Dangerous maybe, but you need to try. And I’ll be there to help you out, maybe even vouch for you. Besides, I’d also like to take you shopping,” Loki looked at the midgardian an eyebrow raised ever so elegantly. Steve shook his head, “We need to get things for you. I’m sure you’ve already come up with some things you’d like to put in your room.”  
Loki looked away, “Why do you care if I am comfortable in my prison?”  
Steve sighed as he grabbed the dustpan and knelt down to sweep the dust up. “I told you, this isn’t a prison, Loki. This is your home now, too.” He stood up and emptied the dustpan into the garbage before putting the broom and dustpan away.  
Loki sighed, “Books.”  
Steve glanced at the god confused, “Books?”  
“You know,” the god turned to look at him, amusement in his eyes, “leatherbound pages written with words upon them so that one may read?”  
“I know what books are. What about them?”  
The trickster shrugged and looked down at his hands, “Your home lacks any books. Why is that?”  
“I don’t know,” the super soldier replied. “I’ve always been more into drawing than reading. I mean, I do read, I like reading but I don’t have time for it. What about you?”  
“It has always been my favorite past time, besides my magic of course.”  
“What kind of books have you enjoyed reading?” Steve asked, wanting to try and keep the god talking about himself. This was all new knowledge about the mischief maker, and he was intrigued by it.  
“Anything I could get my hands on, really. Thor was always good with the sword and won Father’s attention easily. I thought maybe if I were-” Loki cut himself off and shook his head. “Anyways, I’d much appreciate any book I’d be able to get.”  
Steve smiled, “Sure, anything you want. I have a credit card from Tony, he said if there’s anything you need we can just charge it to him.”  
Loki nodded before standing up, “Do you have any tea, Captain? I am a bit parched.”  
“I don’t actually, but there is a coffee shop just down the street. I’m sure they sell tea there. After that we can go and check into some places for you to volunteer at.”  
“You aren’t going to let this go until I go out, will you?”  
Steve smiled and shook his head, “Better to start now than to wait. I know of a few places that you might be able to help with. With your magic you’d be able to make the process go quicker, and the sooner it’s done the sooner you don’t have to do it.”  
“Fine,” Loki sighed and started heading to his room to get dressed, “I shall give you the day. If by the end of the day no one wants me you will have to give up this pathetic attempt at trying to integrate me into your midgardian way of life.”  
Steve didn’t even get a chance to reply before Loki was in his room and slammed the door shut. He sighed, maybe he should tell Loki not to slam his door? The soldier sat down on the couch and waited for the god to get back. He turned off the TV as he waited, coming up with a plan as to how he was going to get through the day.  
A few minutes later the god of mischief came back into the room dressed in his Asgardian leathers. Steve stood up and looked at Loki and chuckled. “Maybe we should go clothes shopping as well.”  
Loki scowled, “Whatever is wrong with my clothing. It is the style of Asgard.”  
“It may be the style on Asgard, but here on Earth you look like you’re cosplaying.”  
“What is cosplaying?” Loki looked at Steve confused.  
“Um,” Steve said as he tried to figure out how to explain it. “Well, cosplaying is when someone dresses up as a character from their favorite show or comic book character.”  
“Truly? What joy would they get from that?”  
“Well, they get to be someone else for the day. I mean I’ve seen a couple people that were cosplaying as Iron Man. It’s interesting. Most people actually make their costumes.”  
Loki nodded, “Very interesting.”  
“Yes, well, are you ready to go?”  
“If I must. Let’s just get this over with, shall we?”  
Steve nodded before slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys before heading out of the apartment with Loki behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Loki go looking for places for Loki to Volunteer at.

“I’ll have your best tea, please,” I asked the lady at the counter of the coffee shop that the super soldier had brought me to.  
The woman at the counter smiled and wrote down my order. “What size would you like, sir?”  
I looked at her confused before looking at the soldier, “Size?”  
He smiled and answered her question for me, “He’ll take a medium, please ma’am.”  
She smiled and hurried off to get the order. While the service lady was off getting my tea, the captain turn to smile at me.  
“What?” I asked him after he stood there smiling at me.  
“You said please.”  
I rolled my eyes at his statement, “Yes, Captain, I am capable of saying please.”  
He chuckled, “That’s not what surprised me.”  
“Oh?”  
“The fact that you were polite and respectful to her surprised me.”  
The woman came back and handed me my tea as the captain paid. I took a sip of the tea out of the plastic cup and smiled my approvement, “It is delicious, the best thing I’ve had since arriving. Thank you.”  
She smiled at me and nodded, “You are quite welcome. I am glad you approve, sir. Have a good day.”  
I nodded, “I shall, and you have a most marvelous day.”  
The captain continued to smile at me before I sighed, “Just say it, Captain.”  
“You are something else, Loki.”  
“Yes, I am.”  
The captain chuckled, “I mean I didn’t think you could be that respectful to a midgardian.”  
I shrugged and took another drink of my tea, “She was respectful to me. It was only fair that I return the favor. Also she made me a marvelous cup of tea, that alone deserves some respect.”  
“Really? Your sell out is tea?”  
I shrugged again and gave a small smile, “You never know, Captain. There might be other things. Besides, you may know my brother but you do not know me.”  
“I’d really like to change that, Loki,” the captain smiled as he walked down the street. “So, why don’t we head to the volunteer sites I know of before we go shopping?”  
“Yes,” I nodded and took a sip of the tea, “I think that would be a very good idea. Get the worse part done and over with.”  
The man out of time nodded and put his hands in his pants pockets. The sun was glistening off the man’s blond hair along with a gentle breeze ruffling the blond locks. His blue eyes shone brilliantly in the light and lit up more when he smiled. The man was too kind for his own good. I had a hard time believing this golden man was as pure and innocent as everyone believed. Some part of me want to corrupt him, taste him, show him how good it could feel out of the spotlight.  
I shook my head and stopped my thoughts from trailing deeper into that dark path. Foolish thoughts were those. I must not go down that road, it’ll only lead to more pain and despair.  
We continued walking until we got to a section of the city that was closed off with police tape. There were chunks missing out of both the buildings and the roads. Windows were shattered and glass spread out along the street. There were groups of people along the closed off street all wearing bright yellow hats. Some were working together trying to pick up the bigger pieces of rubble with very little success.  
There appeared to be one person in charge holding a clipboard and directing people where to go and what their next job would be. The captain and I walked up to the leader of the group. She was about forty with brown hair that had streaks of gray through it. She smiled kindly at the captain, not noticing me just yet.  
“Hey, Steve, you here to volunteer today?” she asked him.  
He shook his head and smiled kindly back at her, “Not today, Lorraine. I’m actually here to introduce a new volunteer.”  
“Great! We could always use the extra help.”  
“Lorraine,” the captain said and he took a step to the side, “meet Loki. He’s here to help pick up New York.”  
Lorraine smiled at me before she realized who I was and scowled. “Steve Rogers, get this man out of my sight now.”  
“Lorraine, please just trust me on this-”  
The woman cut him off with a raised palm, “I don’t want to hear it, Steve. Look, I know you are a great guy and want to see the good in people, but I won’t take him.”  
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. “Perfect. I didn’t want to help you anyways.” I turned to look at the captain and smirked, “I told you no one would want me. Who would want a sorcerer to help clean up.” I gave a small bow to Lorraine and smiled, “I will be leaving now. Pleasure to meet you, Lorraine.”  
As I turned to walk away I snapped my fingers and the area surrounding us was clean and clear. The buildings that had chunks of wall and glass missing was fixed. The street was clean with no remains of any rubble. It looked as if nothing had happened.  
I turned to look back at the captain and saw both the shock on Lorraine’s face and the pride of the super soldier’s. “Coming, Captain?”  
The super soldier quickly caught up to me and smiled, shaking his head a bit. “What was that?”  
I shrugged, “Magic.”  
“I didn’t know you were capable of doing something like that.” The captain shook his head again, this time in amazement. “Can you do that to the whole city?”  
“Yes,” I replied, “and no. It’s not complicated of strong magic, but it does drain my energy. Not am I only picking up the rubble, I’m also repairing the damaged buildings. That alone takes a bit more magic. It’s simple that it wouldn’t weaken me too much, but I’d rather have the strength to defend myself should the need arrive.”  
“But you could if you wanted to?”  
I nodded, “Yes, if I wanted to. Which I don’t want to. I’m willing to help out because I’m given no other choice. However, I am not willing to drain my magic simply for that.”  
The captain nodded as he considered my words. “Alright, well, long as you are willing to help let’s go see if we can find you a group.”  
We went to three other volunteer groups, and each turned out with the same results. The captain would ask for them to let me help them out, they would take one look at me and send us away. Each time they did that I made sure to let them know why that was a bad decision.  
It was at our last stop we had a different reaction. I decided that I had enough fooling around, so instead of letting the soldier talk to them first I went up to her.  
She was a small woman with brown curly hair and brown eyes. She was holding a clipboard and talking to a man that wore one of those yellow hats that the captain informed me was a construction helmet. She wore blue overalls with a green shirt and brown work boots.  
As I approached she turned to look at me and scowled before turning to the man. “I’ve got no more jobs for you today, Mikey, why don’t you go on and check on your brother.”  
The man, Mikey, smiled at the woman and nodded, “Thanks, Casey.”  
As Mikey left, the woman in charged turned to face me finally. “You best have a good reason to be showing your face around here, villian.”  
I smiled politely at her, “In fact, I do. I wish to help you clean up the city, if you would have me.”  
“And why would you want to help?”  
I shrugged, “I would like to clean up the mess I made. I thought you could use my skills to get the work done faster.”  
Finally the captain stepped up beside me and smiled, “You could use the help.”  
Casey looked around before looking at me. “What skills are we talking about here, because last I knew your only skill was destruction.”  
“No, see that is no skill of mine. That was the skill of the Chitauri, I was simply the leader.”  
“Still, you led the bastards here to destroy us all, how can we trust you?”  
“You can’t.”  
Obviously feeling the conversation was gonna end badly, the captain said, “You can’t trust him, but you can trust me. Casey, Loki truly wants to help fix the city. He was banished here to amend for his crimes so you can think of this as community service. At least give him a shot.”  
Casey looked at the super soldier, considering his words but looking skeptical. “Look, much as we need the help I just can’t. I would lose my volunteers for it.”  
“So no one has to know,” I said crossing my arms over my chest.   
“What do you mean by that?” Casey turned to me, curiosity written clearly on her pretty face.  
“I mean, you don’t have to tell them I’m helping out. I have magic and so can cloak myself. Also, while I work I won’t use magic except to cloak myself.”  
The captain turned to me shocked, “You won’t use magic to work?”  
I shook my head, “No. I feel the only way to truly make amends for my misdeeds I must truly work. Even on Asgard it would be expected of me to put aside my magic and help out.”  
“How would you cloak yourself? I can’t have people seeing this mysteriously moving or disappearing.”  
I sighed, “You truly do not know my story. Doesn’t matter, I am able to change my appearance and thus can be anyone I wish to be. I would do that while I work.”  
Casey nodded and thought it over. After a few minutes she shrugged, “Fine. I’ll let you help. On one condition.”  
“Yes?” I raised an eyebrow slightly as I looked at her, trying to figure out just what it is this midgardian would have me do.  
However, it wasn’t me she was looking at.  
“He can help, only if you, Steve, are here to watch over him.”  
The man out of time looked shocked, his blue eyes widening in surprise. “Really?”  
Casey nodded, “We are defenseless to him, and so we’d need someone to keep a close eye on him. You’ve already beaten him, you could do it again.”  
The captain shook his head, “I don’t know, Casey, I-”  
“It’s either that or he can’t be here, Steve. That’s the deal.”  
I rolled my eyes, this woman was very cautious. I don’t know whether that is good or bad yet.  
“Fine,” the captain said, “I’ll help.”  
Casey smiled and nodded, “Alright, well, I have nothing for you to do right now but our next meet up is on Tuesday so I’ll see you then.”  
I nodded, “Great, we shall see you then.”  
I turned and walked away with the captain. We decided to take a break and go get lunch before continuing on to the shopping. I had already had a list of books in my mind as to what I wanted an I let the captain know of them over lunch. Most of the books I had listed were history books or magic books. The captain made sure to interject and tell me of a great book he has read or heard of and I added it to my ever growing list.  
Once lunch was over we decided to go to the bookstore.  
Today was going better than I had thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve asks Loki some questions and they go to the bookstore and clothing store.

The captain decided to take the hungry god of mischief to Dominos to try out pizza for the first time. When Loki first got a sight of the pizza place he turned his nose up at it, saying it was the last place he'd ever eat at. However, Steve was able to convince the fallen prince to at least try the food.  
“If you don't like it, I promise to take you somewhere a bit more your style.”  
Loki studied the captain and before looking at the pizzeria. “Fine. I’ll try the food. However, if it is as unpleasant as I feel it will be you must answer a few questions.”  
Steve smiled, unworried about this odd development. “Sure, and if you do like it, you’ll answer a few of my own questions honestly. No twisting the true or lying. I'll be checking with Thor to make sure it’s true if I have to.”  
The dark prince thought over the deal before shrugging almost elegantly, “Deal. Let us get this over with, shall we?”  
Now they sat at the table, a large pepperoni pizza split between the two men. Steve was eating his slice as Loki eyed the pie.  
“You really expect me to try this?”  
“A deals a deal, Loki. Go on, try it. I promise it’s good.” Steve took a bite of his pizza, cheese falling off the slice and onto the plate as he chewed on his food.  
Loki took a deep breath and nodded before picking up his own slice and taking a small bite. Steve watched the god’s reactions, waiting to hear the final verdict. Loki chewed slowly, letting the different tastes and textures assault his taste buds. After swallowing, he placed the pizza on his plate and wiped his pink lips with a napkin.  
“It is decent. You win, Captain.”  
Steve smiled at Loki as he put his own pizza down on his plate. “I’m glad you like it. I was almost sure you were going to say you hated it.  
Loki shrugged, “It's not bad. It's rather good. Now, what questions do you wish answered?”  
There were many questions that Steve had for the mysterious dark prince, but trying to decide which one to start with was difficult. Finally he decided on one, “Why did you go to Germany? We had no clue where you were located, you could have stayed hidden longer. Why did you expose yourself to us? I know it wasn't just because you wanted to get on the helicarrier.”  
“The answer to that is simple really.” Loki looked at Steve as he answered. “I came here to rule your world, not burrow in it. I was not content hiding away like some coward afraid to go up against the world’s greatest heroes. Besides, getting on the helicarrier I was able to get into your heads and set another part of my plan in motions. Though, I will admit, my favorite part of being exposed was my fight with you. It was a challenge, I really had to focus on my every move including yours as well. Fighting against you is nothing like fighting against Thor.”  
Steve nodded as he listened to what the god was saying. He started eating his pizza again as he waited until Loki was done speaking before replying, “I see. That's interesting, I would have never thought that. All that focus must be why Iron Man and I were able to overpower you.”  
“Oh, you didn't overpower me. I was planning on giving up. I had to pretend to give up. I could have beat you easily if I had used my magic, which I never did. My plan was to get on the helicarrier not beat you in a fight. I needed to test your strength for later.”  
“So you weren't even trying?”  
“Not at all. I had to make the fight look convincing so when you beat me you would be fooled into thinking you could take me.”  
“I knew you gave up too easy, but Tony didn’t think so.” Steve took another bite of his pizza as thought back to that day. It had confused me then as to why a god as strong as Loki had given up so easily. Tony had laughed it off at the time, putting my concern down to the different time I was in. Of course that still didn't rid me of my suspicions. Tony was like his father in the way that they were both confident in their works, neither were willing to admit that there might be a flaw in their creations.  
“The man of iron is too confident in his abilities, he would never admit that he could be wrong.”  
Steve nodded, “This is true.”  
The two sat in silence, both just eating their slices of pizza. The trickster looked out the window as he finished his pizza before looking at the blue eyed soldier, “I would like to go get books afterwards.”  
The captain nodded as he finished his own slice. “Sure. I know of this bookstore just down the street we can go to. They should have the books you want.”  
Loki nodded before wiping his hands on a napkin. “Alright. I am ready to go whenever you are, Captain.”  
Steve nodded as he stood up, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and going to pay for the food. Loki stood up and followed the captain, waiting for him by the doors. The soldier paid the bill and went to the god of mischief.  
“Ready?” The captain asked.  
“Yes, lead the way, Captain.”  
The two left the restaurant and started walking down the street. Once they were at the bookstore, Steve lead the fallen prince to the history section. “This is my favorite section. After I woke up I read a bunch of history books to try and get caught up on the world and what had changed. I figured this would be the best place to start.”  
The god nodded and started scanning through the books, pulling out the ones that caught his interest. When he finished going through the history section he had about ten books picked out.

They had been in the store for about an hour and Loki still wasn’t done looking through books. Steve was carrying a stack of books to the counter for them to hold until they were done. The sales clerk laughed when he saw the books.  
“Got enough books there?”  
The super soldier chuckled, “You would think so, but apparently this isn’t even close to being enough.”  
The guy nodded and took the books from Steve, “I hear you there. My girlfriend is the same way.”  
“Yeah, well, he’s used to having a library’s worth. Now he has to downgrade.”  
The service clerk nodded and used his lip to roll his lip ring around. “He’s gotta be special for you to spend this much money on him.”  
Steve shrugged, “I’m just trying to make him comfortable. He’s had a lot go on and he lost everything.”  
“Oh, that’s harsh. Well, I’m glad he has someone like you as a boyfriend.”  
Steve’s eyes widened and a blush brightened his cheeks, “Oh, no, we’re- He’s not- I mean… We’re- We’re not dating.”  
The sales clerk laughed at the blushing soldier’s reaction, “I’m just kidding, I didn’t mean anything by it.”  
Steve nodded and quickly handed the books to the boy before turning and going back to the god of mischief.  
Loki was in the young adult fiction section sitting cross legged on the floor reading a book. He looked up at the captain when he returned and raised an eyebrow upon seeing the blush still on his cheeks.  
“Why, Captain, did you enjoy yourself while you were gone?”  
The blush darkened on the man out of time’s cheeks and he looked away, “I-I… Shut up. Have you gotten all your books?”  
Loki stood up gracefully, his body moving fluidly reminding Steve of a dancer. Bending down, Loki collected the new stack of books before motioning to the other stack with his chin. “That’s the last of it.”  
Steve nodded and gathered the books in his arms before looking at the fallen prince. “You sure this is it?”  
Loki nodded, “Mhm. I can always come back should I require more. These should do for now.”  
Steve nodded again, before making his way back to the checkout counter. Loki kept his face angled so that the sales clerk couldn’t recognize him as they placed the books on the counter.  
The boy rang up the books and smiled at Steve. “So this is the guy you are spending all this money on. He sure looks like he’d be your type.”  
The blush that had almost fully disappeared was now back with a vengeance. “I- There’s-”  
Loki looked at the sales clerk and smirked, “Ah, I understand. So you are the one that sent him back to me with a blush.”  
If the boy recognized Loki as the alien that nearly destroyed New York, he didn’t show it. He smiled kindly and laughed, “I guess so. The way he talked about you, I could have assumed you two were lovers.”  
Loki looked at the captain, a smirk still in place on his face, “Oh? And in what way was he talking about me?”  
“It wasn’t what he said, but how he said it. He spoke about you with caring and concern in more of a way that you would when you talk about your lover, not a friend.”  
Loki smiled, “Oh, I can assure you, the captain and I are not friends.”  
Steve glared at Loki, the blush still firmly in place, “Stop making it sound worse than it is.” Steve turned to look at the sales clerk, “I’m just helping him get settled in this area. That’s all.”  
The sales clerk laughed and nodded after finishing ringing the books up, “Whatever you say. That’ll be $1559.68.”  
The soldier slid the credit card Tony had given him and signed when he was prompted. Once the books were purchased he asked if the books could be shipped to his home and then paid for the shipping. Once the address was confirmed, the unlikely pair left the store. Steve didn’t say anything to the god until they got to the clothing store, “You won’t find anything in here like what you are used to, but I’m sure we can find something that interests you.”  
Loki nodded and quickly was able to find the men’s department. “So this is the style of Midgard?”  
“Yeah,” Steve nodded and started looking through the shirts. “It’s changed a bit since my time, but after awhile I was able to find something that fit me.”  
The god nodded and grabbed a forest green button up shirt, “Hmm, it’s decent I guess.”  
Steve looked and shrugged, “You’ll have to try everything on to make sure it fits and you like how it looks on you.”  
“Alright.”  
After looking through the clothing, they decided to go to the dressing rooms. Steve waited for Loki to be done outside the doors. When Loki finally came out, he was wearing the forest green button up shirt with black jeans. The simple change in outfit gave the god a whole new appeal. His ink black hair was still slicked back, but the green of his shirt brought out his green eyes even more. He was beautiful-from an artist’s perspective.  
Loki looked at the captain before looking down at his clothes, “Does it look bad?”  
Steve almost didn’t hear the question, and when he did it took a moment for his brain to process the question. He shook his head and smiled, “It looks fine. Are you ready to go then?”  
Loki looked down and bit his lip, an expression that almost screamed vulnerability to the captain. “Actually, I’d like the look at the woman’s clothing if I could.”  
Steve’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion but he nodded, “Uh, yeah sure.”  
Loki nodded and headed over to the woman’s clothing and started going through the different shirts and pants. Steve went over to look through the clothing as well, glancing at Loki every now and then.  
“Hm, what do you think about this shirt?”  
Steve looked up to see Loki holding a green blouse with black ribbon around the middle. “It’s nice, but why are you interested in it?”  
Loki sighed as he looked at the shirt again before adding it to his pile, “You don’t know?”  
“Don’t know what?” Steve asked.  
“I would have thought you would have done research on me, Captain.”  
“I did a bit of research, but it just seemed so unnatural that I wasn’t sure any of it would actually be true.”  
Loki smirked, “Well, what do you know about me?”  
The super soldier thought back to this research that he had done awhile ago, “Let’s see, you’ve gotten Asgard out of a bunch of trouble on multiple occasions all with finding loopholes or using ticks. You have a few kids; a horse, a serpent, a wolf, and a giantess. You are powerful in magic and great with a dagger.”  
Loki nodded, “All true. Though I also have two boys that are Asgardians.”  
“Oh right,” Steve nodded. “You’re also a shapeshifter, that’s how you had the horse.”  
Loki nodded again, “True, but did you know I was the mother of Sleipnir?”  
“You’re the mother?”  
“Yeah. It was something that I needed to do to get Asgard out of trouble again. I am able to change genders easily. I don’t know why, and I’m not sure I ever will know why. I just know that I can. That’s why I want womens clothing. There are days I like being a woman and days I like being a man. Majority of the time I’m a man as that is the gender I was born as.”  
Steve nodded, “That makes sense, but why are you telling me all this?”  
“Well,” Loki said as he put away a shirt he was looking at and decided he didn’t like, “I figure it’ll do me some good to let you know this way I am able to switch genders when I feel the need to. It’s also how I plan to cloak myself when I go to volunteer, so in a way you needed to know.”  
“Alright, I guess.”  
“I’m going to go try these on then we can leave.”  
Steve nodded and followed Loki back to the dressing rooms. After about twenty minutes Loki came out of the dressing rooms with the clothes and nodded. “Alright, let’s go.”  
The two went to the check out and bought the clothes before heading home.  
All in all it was a good day, and Steve couldn’t wait to get home so he could give Loki his surprise.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a surprise for Loki, and Loki has a surprise for Steve.

When we got home I went to my room to put away my new clothing. There were a lot that I was excited to wear and would look for an excuse to wear it. I set the clothes on the bed and folded them before putting them in my dresser. Once all the clothes were put away I went to get the books that had arrived before we returned. It took a while to get the boxes into my room, but I managed it on my own. The captain had offered to help, but I had dismissed him. I didn’t need his help to move just a few boxes of books.  
I was organizing the books into alphabetical order by author when a knock came at my door. I didn’t turn around bust simply called out, “It is open.”  
The door opened and I could hear the captain moving behind me as he replied, “So I’ve got a surprise for you.”  
I looked back at the captain who was leaning against the doorframe with his arm crossed over his chest. His biceps were flexed just a bit in a sexy relaxed way. I bit the inside of my cheek and broke away from that train of thought.  
“What is it?” I asked him, glad I was able to keep the tremor out of my voice.  
He smiled and shrugged, “Guess you’ll just have to come out here and see for yourself.”  
I looked at the piles of books that surrounded me and my bed. I sighed and nodded, “I will be right out.”  
The captain looked at the books and nodded, “Why don’t you just use your magic to put them away. You can do that right?”  
I shrugged and stood up. “I like to put them away myself.”  
“I can understand that.” The captain nodded and gave me a quick smile. “We’ll be waiting.”  
As the captain left I stood up intrigued by his use of the word ‘we’ll’ instead of ‘I’. Curious, I left my room and went to the kitchen. As I entered the room, I froze upon the sight.  
On the wall by the window was a new sketch that hadn’t been there before. It was framed in a green frame that was ten by ten. I walked towards the drawing in amazement. It was a sketch of me standing on top of Stark Tower, dressed fully in my Asgardian leathers, the scepter in my hand. I stood, proud looking out over the New York skyline, yet there was an odd expression on my face.  
“Who drew this?” I asked, my voice in a whisper.  
“I did,” came the captain’s response from beside the stove.  
I turned to look at him with shock, “You drew this?”  
He looked at me and nodded. “Yeah, I drew it about a month after the battle. I drew it from memory so most the details aren’t right, but next time I’ll get it.”  
“Next time?”  
The captain smiled and nodded as he went back to cooking. “I’d like to draw you again but I would need your consent, of course, as I’d like for you to pose for it.”  
I looked at the captain confused. “Why would you want to draw me again?”  
“Why wouldn’t I? Any artist can see you are a beautiful proud specimen that just needs to be drawn and shown to the world. I’d make sure to use color next time to make sure I capture the true beauty.” The blond looked thoughtful as he thought about the next piece he’d create. I studied his features before looking back at the drawing.  
“Why do I look lost?”  
The super soldier shrugged, “I guess it was because I drew it after I learned about your true heritage and I felt like you were lost. Like you were searching for true meaning to your life after everything had been ripped away from you.”  
I nodded and turned away from the drawing. “It is decent, thank you.”  
The captain smiled at me, his blue eyes almost shining with happiness. “Of course. Next time it’ll be better, I promise.”  
“If I may, Captain, why would you want to display this in the center of your home? Do you not think your team mates will find it rather odd?”  
“They might, but I don’t care. It’s my artwork and I can display it wherever I want to. I like the sketch and I think it fits.”  
I shrugged as I went over to stand beside him. “What is that you are cooking?” I was trying to change the subject and hoping that the captain would understand that.  
And of course he did. “Just grilled cheese. I figured something simple would work for tonight after all the things we did today.”  
I nodded. “And what is grilled cheese?”  
“It’s a sandwich that you grill and it consists of just cheese. I’m also cooking tomato soup which is really good to dip the grilled cheese into.”  
“Sounds...interesting?”  
He laughed, the sound was almost hypnotic. I had to shake my head a bit to hear what he had to say next, “It’s good. Trust me, you’ll like it.”  
“If you say so. So far the food you have introduced me to have been decent enough to pass as food. I shall not doubt you again.”  
Blue eyes turned to looked me in my green eyes and the color almost reminded me as the crystal blue waters on Asgard. I almost wished to dive into his eyes and get lost forever. Getting lost in his eyes, I almost missed what he said but I managed to pull myself away. “I promise I’ll introduce you to the best food that Earth has to offer.”  
I nodded and looked away from him. I must be coming down sick, my stomach was starting to twist into knots. There was no other explanation for it. Well there was, but there was no way that would be the case. Besides, it would be pointless for it to be that. The captain has already shown his opinion on the matter.  
Noticing my slight change in mood, the captain cocked his head to the side and tried to get me to look into his gorgeous eyes again. “You okay, Loki?”  
I scowled and moved away from him. “I am perfectly fine, Captain, you need not to worry about me. You wouldn’t understand even if you tried.”  
I heard the click of the stove being turned off before the captain’s voice called to me. “I only don’t understand because you refuse to tell me what is wrong with you. I’m willing to help you as best I can, Loki.”  
I spun and looked at him, anger building in my chest. “You can not help me!”  
The captain stood, leaning up against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at me. “Only because you won’t let me.”  
“I do not need help from a midgardian.”  
“You just don’t want help.”  
“Exactly! I do not need, nor want help!” My hands gripped tightly into fists at my side but the captain didn’t seem to react to my anger in any way.  
He sighed before detaching himself from the counter and coming to stand in front of me. “It’s okay to ask for help, Loki. You can’t be strong all the time. Trust me, I know. I was unable to fight for myself before the serum, my best friend was always finishing the fights and I was mad at him. I didn’t want his help, I wanted to do it all by myself.”  
“That’s different. If he didn’t help you, you would have ended up dead in an alleyway.”  
“It’s not that different. You can’t hold it all in, Loki, you can’t live that way. Eventually everything will catch up with you and you will self destruct. You can let people help you, it doesn’t mean you are weak, it just means you’ve been strong for too long.”  
I could feel like walls shattering and I started to shake my head, trying to get him out of my head, “You know nothing about me, Captain. You could never possibly understand what I have gone through.”  
“I could never understand full, I know that. But I do know a lot of it has to do with your family, why you are so upset.”  
I shook my head faster wishing he would just stop talking. “Shut up.”  
“You probably feel abandoned by your mother and father-”  
“He’s not my father!” I shouted.  
The captain took a deep breath and gave me a concerned smile. “Did he not raise you?”  
I looked at him confused, my breathing short and labored as my anger grew. “What?”  
“You say he’s not your father, but did he not raise you?”  
“What does that have to do with anything?”  
“How did you get to be Thor’s younger brother?”  
I paused trying to figure out the captain’s point. Deciding to see where he would take this I answered, “Odin found me as a small babe cast out from my race because I was small. He took me to his home where he kept me so he could unite the two kingdoms.”  
The captain nodded, “And in that time that you were growing up, did you not know him as your father?”  
“He lied to me. Made me believe that he was my father, Frigga my mother, and Thor my older brother.”  
“But he raised you. Called you his son. Taught you how to battle. Right?”  
I nodded, starting to understand but not knowing what to think. “Yes.”  
“I don’t know how it is on Asgard, but here on Earth a parent isn’t always the person that you share blood with. A parent is someone who loves you and raises you. Odin must have loved you in order to raise you as his son. He could have brought you to Asgard and had you raised as a servant, but he didn’t. Instead he raised you to know him as your father and Frigga as your mother. Whether you want to see it or not, Odin does love you, he just doesn’t know how to show it.” The captain smiled at me, a kind gentle smile.  
I looked away from him and shook my head, “He still lied.”  
“This coming from the god of lies.” The captain chuckled before gently putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing it.  
I looked up into his blue eyes and scowled, “What do you mean by that?”  
He shrugged and dropped his hand. “People lie, Loki. Sometimes to hurt others, but most of time it's to protect the one they love. Odin and Frigga must have kept the truth from you fearing your reaction. Parents don’t always let their children know the secrets they must keep, in order to protect them from being hurt.”  
I nodded and looked at the floor. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, he was right. That doesn’t mean it hurts any less. “You are a smart man, Captain. How is it you could see this when I could not?”  
“Because you are blinded by the hurt and anger you feel, which you have every right to feel. It’s not fair to be lied to, no matter the reason behind it.”  
I nodded and took a step away from the captain before going to sit down at the table. “I will try to remember that from now on, but that does not mean I will be forgiving.”  
He shrugged as he made two plates, on from me and one for him, before coming to sit down with me. “Maybe in time you will learn to forgive them.”  
I shrugged and started to eat. It was a bit cold, but it still tasted good. The captain was an excellent cook and I made sure to tell him so. We spent the rest of the meal in silence before both getting up to take care of the dishes and heading towards our rooms for the night.  
Before I entered my room, the captain paused beside me and gently rested a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I turned to look at him and saw he was smiling. He smiles a lot, and it looks good on him. “You have a good night, Loki.”  
I nodded and turned to go towards my room when I stopped and turned to the blond again and quickly kissed him. It wasn’t anything special. It was just a quick press of my lips against his soft ones. It lasted for less than two seconds before I pulled away and rushed into my room slamming the door behind me. I leaned up against the door and rest my head against it.  
“The hell did I do?”  
I didn’t mean to do that. It was just impulsive and I did it without thinking. Normally all my actions are calculated and with purpose, but that was completely unplanned. I shouldn’t have done that, and now that I have the captain is going to hate me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is confused about Loki.

Even after the door slammed shut and Loki was locked in his room, Steve couldn’t help but stand there in the hall confused and shocked. Slowly, he brought his hand to his lips trying to piece together what had just happened.  
The quick kiss had startled him. Not just in the way that it was unexpected, but also because he wanted it to last longer than it did. The quick kiss left his lips tingling and his stomach rolling around in tight knots.  
He could still feel the god’s lips on his, so soft yet firm. It felt...good.  
Steve shook his head and finally moved, heading to his room. He sat down on his bed and thought over this kiss. He sighed and gave up on trying to piece it together on his own.  
He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialed the one number he knew would be able to help him.  
“Hey, Capsicle! I was just thinking about you!”  
Steve could hear the music blaring from the other end of the line as Tony’s voice called through. Before he could say anything though, Tony continued on.  
“Listen, Cap, I had an amazing idea about Professor Snape over there. You see, he uses magic-or at least science that we have yet to understand and-”  
Before Tony could finish his sentence Steve cut him off quickly, “Loki kissed me and I think I liked it.”  
The other end of the line went so quiet the captain almost thought Tony hung up. “Tony?”  
“Yeah. Still here, Cap, just trying to process what you said.”  
“It’s like I said, Tony,” Steve sighed, “Loki kissed me, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.”  
Steve could hear Tony clear his throat before he heard him moving around. “Well, what kind of kiss was it?”  
“Does that really matter, Tony?”  
“Of course it matter, Spangles! The type of kiss always matters!”  
“It wasn’t anything special, I guess. He just kissed me and then ran into his room.” Steve’s hand moved to his lips again unconsciously.  
“Wow, Steve, either you suck at kissing and the guy was running away from you-”  
“Be serious, Tony.”  
“Oh, I am. Some people just shouldn’t kiss, Cap, you could be one of them.”  
“Whatever. What else?”  
“Or he didn’t mean to do it, which makes no sense for Rock of Ages. He always has a plan. Be careful, Cap. If that’s the case he’s probably up to something.”  
Steve shrugged even though he knew the scientist couldn’t see him. “I don’t know. He almost seemed as surprised as me.”  
“Look, Steve, nothing good is going to come out of this. Keep your distance.”  
“Kind of impossible to do when I live with him. Besides, I can’t just keep my distance, I have to keep an eye on him.”  
“That’s why I think you should move into the tower with the science bros. With my marvelous self and Bruce here we could all keep him in check.”  
“Thanks for the offer, Tony, but I have to decline. I just can’t do that.”  
Tony sighed, “Fine, fine, I get it.”  
Steve leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and closing his eyes. “Look, Tony, I called you to try and figure out what just happened but I’m still as confused as before I got on the phone.”  
The self proclaimed genius was silent for a moment before responding, “Did you say you think you liked it?”  
Steve nodded before realizing that Tony couldn’t see him. “Yeah. No. I don’t know. I’m confused.”  
“Well, as much as I wouldn’t recommend this, the only way you can figure out what you feel about it is by kissing him again. I wouldn’t do it though if I were you. That would be a very bad idea.”  
“I don’t think I’d even know how to approach it anyways, so don’t worry about that.”  
Tony laughed, “Do you need flirting lessons, Spangles?”  
“I’m gonna go now, Tony, thanks.”  
“Hey, if you need lessons on how to flirt with girls I can help. Though if it’s to flirt with tall, dark and crazy you might need to ask Pepper.”  
“Good night, Tony.”  
Steve hung up before Tony had the chance to answer and he tossed his phone on his bed. The captain sighed before getting up and grabbing his sketchbook and pencils.  
He opened to a blank page and started to sketch. He let the pencil guide him as he let his mind drift and he thought about that short kiss.  
His lips were softer than he thought they would be, and he was more gentle than forceful. Loki didn’t seem like the kind that would be gentle, but the kiss was soft enough that Steve almost had a hard time believing it happened. If it wasn’t for the fact that his lips remained tingling afterwards, he’d believe it was all just a dream.  
He thought about kissing the god again, pressing his lips against those soft pink lips. He thought about deepening the kiss, and pulling the brunette close to him. He thought about wrapping an arm around the slender mans waist as the other buried itself in the other man's hair. It would never be like kissing Peggy, but it would be perfect. It would start out soft, but grow harder and more passionate. Who knew where the kiss would lead them. Maybe no where, but neither would mind. All that would matter is just holding each other. Loving each other.  
He would look into those beautiful green eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him. Tell him how beautiful he thought the god was, how amazingly brilliant he thought he was. It would be perfect.  
When he finished his sketch he was almost surprised to see Loki sprawled out on the page. The god was leaning against the wall in only his silk pajama pants and looking at the viewer with untold secrets in his eyes. He was leaning against the wall seductively, his face angled up slightly as he bit his bottom lip. His left leg was bent slightly as his heel rested against the wall. Even as a sketch, he was beautiful.  
Steve quickly closed the sketchbook and put it away. It was one small kiss, he shouldn’t be thinking like this! It was wrong! Disgusting! No, not disgusting. It was sinful. Steve didn’t know many gay men, at least not openly gay. In the 1940's, if you were gay you either kept it to yourself or you got beaten up for it. Maybe he had a few thoughts about other men, but he learned to restrain it. He fell in love with Peggy, a well respected and beautiful woman. Steve Rogers, Captain America, was not gay.  
He should never had let thoughts like that come into his mind, it was just unclean.  
The captain shook his head and stripped out of his clothes and putting on some blue pajama shorts. He got into bed and under the covers, laying down on his back. Steve Rogers was not gay. He did not have feelings for Loki. He did not like guys. And he was certainly not going to kiss the god again.

After his morning run, Steve decided to stop by the gym and hit a few punching bags. He needed to be away from Loki. He needed to clear his mind. Whatever happened last night can’t happen again. Steve Rogers couldn’t be gay because he didn’t choose to be gay. Captain America couldn’t be gay because the world would hate him if he was. He couldn’t let the world down.  
He had punched through five punching bags before he felt like he could go home.  
It was ten o’clock when he walked through his door to find Loki sprawled out on the couch with a book in his hands and reading. He was wearing just his green silk pajama pants again and his legs were crossed at the ankles. When he heard the door close he lowered the book and looked at Steve.  
“Well, you were certainly gone for a while.”  
Steve looked at the god whose head was propped up by the couch cushion and arm rest. His long fingers held the book against his chest with one finger in between the pages holding his spot. Loki’s green eyes were focused on Steve, and he raised an eyebrow clearly waiting for an answer.  
Steve cleared his throat and quickly looked away and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. “Um, yeah, I stopped by the gym after my run.”  
Loki brought the book up and started to read again, “Sounds like fun. However, even from here I can smell you and you smell dreadful. You must go wash yourself.”  
Steve nodded and drank his water before going to the bathroom and taking a shower. He let the water cascade down his body, washing the sweat and dirt from his flesh before washing himself up and getting out.  
He grabbed his towel from the towel rack and wrapped it around his waist before heading to his bedroom to get dressed. Once he was dressed he went back to the living room where Loki was curled up with his knees close to his chest and the book resting on his thighs as he read. There was a stack of books all around him and it seemed that the book he was currently reading was a different one than when he first came in.  
He went to the fridge and pulled out the eggs and cheese, “Reading anything good?”  
Loki hummed but didn’t say anything else, just continued to read.  
Steve pulled out a frying pan and cracked an egg into the pan. He watched the egg in the pan slowly start to cook as he tried to find a way to start a conversation with the god. Why did it feel so different between them all of a sudden?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Steve have a moment.

I had laid in bed all night, just lying awake and looking up at the ceiling as I thought about the kiss. I was restless and couldn’t fall asleep at all. I heard the captain get up early in the morning getting ready for his run. Once I heard him leave the apartment, I decided to get up and start reading. I grabbed a few books before heading to the living room and sitting the couch beginning to read.  
Now I still sit on the couch, the captain in the kitchen while I stare blindly at my book. Finally I turned to look at the super soldier and said, “I feel I must apologize for last night.”  
Steve turned around and looked at me, his blue eyes meeting my green ones. “What for?”  
“The kiss. It was wrong of me to do that. You had already expressed your discomfort with same sex relationships and I ignored it completely. For that I will apologize.”  
Steve turned back to his eggs and flipped them over. “Oh, yeah, don’t, um, don’t worry about it. It was...just a misunderstanding is all.”  
“Oh there was no misunderstanding at all, Captain,” I said as the super soldier put a slice of cheese on the eggs.  
“What do you mean?”  
“It is a simple Asgardian thing,” I lied. “It is respectful to give one who has helped you greatly. I feel you have helped me a bit therefore deserved the reward. I had simply forgotten that here you would consider it an advance on you. I had no intention of making you feel uncomfortable, Captain, tis the only reason I apologize.”  
The captain put the eggs onto a plate before grabbing a fork and going to sit down at the table to eat. “I see. So it’s an Asgardian thing?”  
I nodded as I returned my gaze to my book, “Indeed. Thor would never do it as he is too pigheaded to know when someone is worthy of being thanked. His gratitude is found through drinks and nearly crushing people to death by hugging. He believes that kissing is only for those you wish to bed. I, however, try and remain proper and respectful.”  
“So,” the man out of time started before taking a bite of his eggs, “what’s the difference between a thank you kiss and a romantic kiss?”  
I smirked and looked back at the captain again, “Would you prefer I demonstrate, Captain? It’d be a lot easier for you to understand it that way.”  
A deep red blush spread out on the super soldier’s cheeks and he stopped eating, his fork almost to his mouth. “Uh… I-I mean… Um…”  
I chuckled and shook my head, “Forget I said anything, Captain.”  
I went back to reading my book, cursing myself for saying that. The captain wasn’t mad at me for the kiss, but if I keep pushing it, I might find myself on the street. I don’t even know why I kissed him to begin with. I liked seeing the blush on the blond’s cheeks, but I shouldn’t push my luck.  
A few minutes pass in silence. The only sound was the turning of a page or the sound of a fork scraping against the plate. I heard the captain get up and bring his dishes to the sink before coming to sit beside me on the couch.  
We sat in silence for a few more minutes again before he said, “Could you?”  
I didn’t look away from my book, just replied, “Could I what?”  
“Kiss me. Demonstrate the difference.”  
I lowered my book to my lap and looked at the captain confused. “Excuse you?”  
The blue eyed man took a deep breath before repeating, “You offered to demonstrate the difference between a thank you kiss and a romantic kiss. Could you demonstrate?”  
I looked at the man sitting beside me, trying to determine whether he was joking or not. His body language was stiff and his blush was more evident than before. From what I could tell...he was serious.  
I grabbed my bookmark and put it in the book where I left off before putting my book down with the rest. “Are you sure you want that, Captain?”  
Blue eyes looked to me and he nodded, “Yeah, I’m sure.”  
“I thought you would be disgusted by the idea?”  
He shrugged, “Curious?”  
I stood up and shook my head, “Not a good enough reason.”  
I gathered my books and went to my room to put them away. I was almost in my room when the captain grabbed me by the elbow gently and pulled me to him. One arm wrapped around my waist while the other cupped my cheek and he kissed me. His perfect pink lips pressed to mine in a soft gentle kiss that took my breath away. I clung tighter to my books, trying not to drop them as I kissed the captain back.  
Slowly we moved so my back pressed against the wall as he deepened the kiss. His tongue gently swept across my lower lip, seeking entrance into my mouth. I parted my lips as we kissed and his tongue found his way into my mouth, greeting my tongue and fighting for dominance. He pressed closer to me, pressing my books harder into my chest and arms.  
His thumb gently started to caress the skin above my pants before his hand slowly started moving up more. I shivered at his touch as we continued to kiss, his lips hot and gentle on mine.  
I turned my head away breaking the kiss to breathe. The captain’s lips moved to my neck, gently kissing and biting the sensitive skin there.  
I bit my lip and closed my eyes, as I sighed softly, “C-Captain…”  
The blond gently nibbled on my earlobe before whispering, “Steve. Call me Steve.”  
“S-Steve,” I moaned out softly as he bit my neck again.  
“Loki,” he whispered my name in my ear.  
The captain-Steve pulled away enough to look into my eyes before gently kissing my lips again. He took my books away from me as he kept kissing me before pulling away and setting the books on my nightstand. He looked at me in the doorway before smiling at me. His lips were swollen slightly from kissing and his blush was no long spread across his cheeks.  
He reaches his hand out to me, wanting me to accept it. I hesitated a bit before taking a step forward and taking his hand. He pulled me close to him again, his arms wrapping around my waist, and he gently kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands sliding through his short blond hair as I pressed myself close to him. Steve slid his hands up my back gently, the gentle touch was sending shivers across my body.  
I moved my hands to tug at the super soldier’s shirt, breaking the kiss as I pull his shirt up over his head and throwing it on the ground. I ran my hands down the muscular chest, smiling before leaning forward to kiss the gorgeous man in front of me.  
Steve and I maneuvered ourselves so that we sat on the edge of my bed, never breaking the kiss. I rested my hand on his thigh and slowly began moving towards his cloth covered cock.  
His hand grasped my wrist that was on his thigh and he broke the kiss. His blue eyes met my green eyes and he gave a small shy smile. “Let’s take this slow, okay?”  
I nodded and looked away, unsure of what to do next.  
Steve gently put a finger under my chin before making me look at him. He smiled softly before kissing the tip of my nose. “Don’t look away.”  
I nodded before kissing his lips again. “So what does this mean?”  
Steve sighed and caressed my cheek, “I don’t know, Loki. I don’t know where we go from here.”  
“Oh, I see.” I took a deep breath before I asked my next question, “Would it help if I were a woman?”  
Steve’s hand dropped from my cheek and he looked at me confused, “Why would you ask that?”  
I shook my head and looked down at my hands, which were folded in my lap. “You are uncomfortable with same sex relationships, I thought maybe you would prefer me as a female.”  
“It’s not that, Loki,” the captain said as he gently took my hand in his.  
I pulled my hand away and stood up, “Then what is it?”  
Steve carefully grabbed my wrist as he looked up at, his blue eyes pleading with me. “It’s so much, Loki. It’s just difficult.”  
I scowled at him, my defenses up again. “Why? Because I have a dick instead of a vagina? That can be fixed.” As I spoke golden light appeared around me, my features changing. My black hair grew to the middle of my back and had a bit of slight curls in it. My face became less angular and more feminine. My body now had curves, my hips widening a bit as my ass became a bit more rounder. My exposed chest now held round breasts. I placed my hands on my hips and glared down at the super soldier.  
Steve’s eyes grew wide as he looked at me before he quickly diverted his eyes and said in a shaky voice. “It’s… It’s not that, Loki. Please, if you are going to be like that at least put a shirt on.”  
Anger was rising inside my chest. I didn’t understand. One minute he wanted me, was kissing me, the next he couldn’t even bare to look at me. I was so confused and angry. I growled and quickly moved so I was straddling his waist and I cupped his cheeks in my hand and made him look at me.  
“Don’t look away,” I snapped in my higher pitched voice. “I am not going to hide my body just because my gender has changed. You had no problem with me walking without a shirt on when I was a man, but now that I’m a woman it changes? It’s still me, Captain. I am still Loki.”  
“You’re female Loki. It’s different now.”  
“It is not!” I grabbed his hand and roughly brought it to cup my breast, holding his hand there. “It’s not wrong to want, Captain. I want to be touched. So for god’s sake just touch me.”  
Steve looked up into my green eyes. “It has nothing to do with that, Loki. I promise. Please try to understand, that it’s not easy for me to accept all this at once. I came from a different time where this wasn’t accepted. Where you were beaten to death if you even looked at a guy the wrong way. You couldn’t be in the army if you were gay and if they ever found out you were gay you were kicked out and given a dishonorable discharge. Women were supposed to be treated with respect, they were meant to be courted properly.”  
I slid off the man’s lap and shifted back into my male body. I turned away from him, “Get out.”  
I heard Steve stand up and rest his hands on my hips. “Loki, please.”  
“Get out!” I yelled, pulling away from him.  
Steve stood there, just looking at me before sighing and walking away. Before he left my room he turned to look at me, his blue eyes meeting my green eyes. “I’m sorry, Loki.”  
I didn’t say anything, just waited for him to leave before waving my hand at the door and using my magic to slam the door shut. Alone I sank down onto my bed and put my face in my hands. I understand it’s difficult for him, but it still hurt to be denied the way he denied me. I don’t understand why it hurt. No one has ever had the ability to hurt me the way the captain has just done. Thousands of years and the only thing that ever really hurt was the death of my children and having them all taken from me.  
I took a deep breath and sighed, I would not let the captain break me.  
I stood up and left my room, heading to the living room to find the captain. When I entered the room I saw him sitting on the couch talking to someone on the phone.  
“I know you told me it was a bad idea, Tony, but you are also the one the recommended it.”  
Of course he was talking to the man of iron. Who else would he be talking to?  
“I don’t know. It was...different.” He paused and listened to Tony talk on the other end. “I stopped before it got too far. I just...I couldn’t do it. No. No. Tony, listen, I can’t do that. I just can’t, it’s not fair to him.”  
I couldn’t stand to listen anymore. I just turned around and went to my room, laying down in bed and went to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, sorry for the long wait. I've been busy and was unable to get anything written for a while. Hopefully that doesn't happen again. Anyways here's the next chapter. Sorry it's short. Hope you like it.

After leaving Loki’s room Steve went and sat on the couch. What did he just do? There are so many things wrong with what happened. For one, he shouldn’t have even done it. Two, he really hurt Loki. Oh, Loki must hate him know. And what would Thor think! If he ever found out, what would he think?  
The captain groaned as he thought everything over.   
Loki had offered to show him the difference between kisses and he accepted the offer. But...then Loki denied him. He was just so curious, how it would feel to kiss Loki again, this time a real kiss. So he initiated the kiss, and it was great. It was as perfect as he thought it would be and more. It felt great to kiss the god, to hold him close and touch him. But it was wrong! Guys should not kiss other guys. It was disgusting and sinful. If anyone found out- No, no one can find out. He would be hated by everyone, an absolute shame!  
Steve groaned, it didn’t feel wrong though. It felt right. Oh, but then Loki put his hand on his thigh. If the captain didn’t stop his hand from moving up further… Oh god, he would have given into the sweet temptation of Loki. He would have fallen off the cliff into the no return, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that just yet.  
Then everything that transpired between the two suddenly disappeared when Loki asked him that one question. He didn’t know how to answer the god. How to try and explain that he needed time to figure everything out because it was going quicker than he ever imagined.  
The super soldier closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. To make matters worse Loki turned into a female and her breasts were exposed!  
Of course Steve liked the view, how could he not? She was beautiful standing there in front of him. She was confident and well aware of her beauty, and the fire in her eyes made him want her more. He had to look away, besides the fact that it was out of respect he couldn’t resist her if she kept staring at him like that.  
Steve opened his eyes and grabbed his phone. He needed to distract himself from his thoughts before he got up and went back to the god.  
“Capsicle! I am glad you called. Bruce and I have been working on this device to neutralize Loki’s powers should he ever go all crazy in the head again. We’d like for you to bring him to test it and-”  
“Tony, I don’t think that would be a good idea right now.”  
“Why do you say that?”  
Steve scratched the back of his head, “I may have upset him.”  
“Uh oh, what did you do, Cap?”  
“I may have taken your advice and kissed him again.”  
“Damn, Cap. I didn’t think you’d actually do that. I told you it was a bad idea.”  
“I know you told me it was a bad idea, Tony, but you are also the one that recommended it.”  
“Well? How was it? Was it everything you thought it would be?”   
“I don’t know. It was...different.” Steve thought back to the kiss and a smile spread out on his face. It was the best kiss he’d had in a long time. “I stopped before it got too far. I just...I couldn’t do it.”  
“What do you mean you couldn’t do it? Do you not know what to do?” Tony asked, a smile clearly in his voice.  
“No. No. Tony, listen, I can’t do that. I just can’t, it’s not fair to him.”  
“What do you mean it’s not fair to him. I bet he’d like it just as much as you would.”  
Steve rolled his eyes and he listened to his friend. “I just can’t. He deserves better. Besides, it's wrong.”  
“What do you mean it’s wrong? I mean, I don’t think this is a good idea, but how is it wrong?”  
The super soldier groaned and leaned his head back, “Captain America can’t be gay.”  
“Why can’t he?”  
“Because, Tony, Captain America is supposed to represent the simple times, the old days. In the old days it was wrong to be gay at all. Everyone would hate me if I was gay.”  
“Not to burst your bubble, Capsicle, but Captain America wasn’t created to represent the old, simple days. Captain America was created to make a stronger better soldier and army. And hey, guess what? If the only guy who knew the formula to the serum didn’t die, they would have succeeded. Just because you came back from the dead doesn’t mean you now have to represent the old days. It just means you were meant to be here.”  
“Thanks, Tony,” the captain said as he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “I still don’t know what I’m going to do.”  
“How about this?” Tony’s voice held a bit of excitement, “Go find Bag-o’-cats and give him a big kiss and see where that goes.”  
“I don’t know.”  
Tony’s voice became teasing as he said, “You better go do that now, Spangles, before I come over and make you.”  
“I don’t think you could make me, Tony. I am stronger than you.”  
“I never said I wouldn’t bring back up.”  
Steve chuckled and shook his head, “I’m going. Talk to you later.”  
The blond hung up the phone but didn’t move. He just sat there on the couch thinking. Should he go talk to Loki? He probably should just to try and work things out, but he couldn’t bring himself to get up. He looked out the window of his apartment. The sky was blue with white puffs of clouds looking like marshmallows. It was only three in the afternoon, but he felt exhausted. How could Loki only be here a few days and already has turned the captain’s life upside down? It was unbelievable.  
Steve sighed and stood up before heading to Loki’s room. He knocked on the closed door but got no response. I opened the door a bit and peaked in.  
“Loki?”  
A pillow was thrown at the door almost hitting Steve in the face. “Go away, Midgardian. I do not wish to speak with you.”  
Steve opened the door a bit more and looked at the god who was laying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. “Look, Loki, I’m sorry about earlier-”  
Loki sat up and looked at the captain, “I get it, Captain. You wish to forget what happened, as do I. We shall not discuss it further.”  
“No, Loki, that’s not what I mean.” The blond went to stand in front of the furious god. He knelt down and looked up into the glowing green eyes. “I mean, I’m sorry I wasn’t explaining things right earlier. It’s hard trying to explain to someone who wasn’t in my time how things were. Every fiber of my being says this is wrong, that I shouldn’t want this. However, there is a part of me that does want this, I just don’t know how to even go about it the right way. I’ve never been in a relationship or anything. Dating experience is something I lack.”  
“You denied me.”  
Steve nodded, “I know, but only because I don’t want to rush into things. I want to take things slow so I can be able to adjust to this new situation that I’m totally lost in.”  
“You looked away.”  
“In respect for you. I didn’t feel I had the right to see.”  
“You had every right, Captain. I wanted you to see.” The brunette’s eyes glowed brighter with anger at the memory of the captain looking away from him after he had exposed himself.  
Steve took the god’s hand in a gentle grasp, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me, Loki.”  
“What’s there to forgive?”  
The blond smiled and kissed the back of the pale hand in his. “Loki, would you be willing to help me learn? Take things slow with me and teach me everything you are so knowledgeable about?”  
Loki laughed, “Is that how you are asking me out?”  
Steve blushed, “Yeah, I guess it is.”  
“Well then I accept.”  
The two smiled at each other and the green eyed devil pulled the blue eyed angel into a gentle kiss.  
For now, they were happy. For now, everything was safe. They knew there were still things that they needed to discuss but for now, they were just happy to be with each other.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter heats up just a bit.

I lay in bed, the captain laying beside me snoring softly. He had fallen asleep while we were talking, trying to figure out how this ‘relationship’ was going to work. We had discussed a few things, but didn’t really have an answer as to what we even were. The captain was so happy when I accepted his offer, I neglected to inform him that I was still angry with him. I was furious with him. He refused me, then came in here and asked me to forgive him for it. Forgiveness is not in my nature.  
I rolled onto my side and looked at the sleeping captain. His pink lips were opened slightly, almost begging to be kissed. His long perfect eyelashes rested perfectly on his cheeks. His muscled naked chest rose and fell with every peaceful breath he took. His blond hair was ruffled slightly from the pillow under his head. He looked beautiful, and peaceful. So peaceful, I must end it.  
I smirked and raised myself up onto my elbow before leaning down and kissing his soft lips. I pulled away slightly and saw the captain still sleeping peacefully. I kissed him again, this time a bit harder and moved to straddle his waist. I rested my hands on his chest as I slowly kissed down to his neck before biting the exposed skin and sucking. The captain stirred a bit and a small moan escaped between his lips. Encouraged, I kissed down his chest, moving my lips to surround one of his nipples, my tongue circling the soft nub trying to bring it to harden. After it was hard I moved over to the other nipple and give it the same attention I did the other one. Before letting that one go, however, I gave it a gentle bite before moving to kiss the captain’s stomach. By now I was sure he was awake, his breath was fast and shallow and he moaned softly.  
I looked up at him and saw his beautiful blue eyes looking down at me. I smirked before descending under the blankets.  
“L-Loki, what are you doing?” The captain stuttered softly.  
I didn’t reply, just moved the top of his sweatpants and boxers down releasing his dick from its confines. I took a moment to admire the semi hard cock, the captain was well endowed and it made me salivate just looking at it. I could only imagine what it would feel like to have him buried deep inside me.  
I gently took his cock into my hand and gave it a few short strokes before licking the tip. The captain gasped and shivered as his hands reached down to grasp my hair roughly. I couldn’t tell whether he was trying to push me off or keep me going, but whatever he meant I continued with what I was doing.  
I wrapped my lips around the tip of his cock and gave a small suck before taking more into my mouth and running my tongue along the underside of his swollen member. He was fully erect now and I had every intention of using it to my advantage. I looked up at the captain as I bobbed my head up and down along his cock, taking as much in as I could. The captain’s eyes were squeezed shut and his hand was gripping my hair harshly pushing and pulling me along his glorious dick.  
I could hear the captain’s heavy breathing and small moans leaving his lips as I continued my ministrations on his member. I moved my hand up to fondle the captain’s balls as I ran my tongue over the tip of his penis which brought the captain to his release quickly. The only warning I got before his seed spilled down my throat was a long low moan and his hand pushing me forward to take all of him into my mouth.  
I choked a little on his release but quickly regained control and tried to swallow all of it, however some did manage to spill out over my lips. Once he was done I pulled away and cleaned up before going to lay beside him. His breath was still coming fast and he looked over at me, his blue eyes shining brightly and his cheeks flushed red.  
I licked my lips before smiling at him, “You taste marvelous, Captain. I can’t wait to taste you again.”  
The midgardian didn’t say anything, just looked at me as he regained control of his breathing. I rested back against the pillows and smiled. I looked over at him and saw his blue eyes looking at me, a blush still high on his cheeks.  
I chuckled softly as I run my fingers up and down his lovely bicep. “I must have been really good to make you speechless.”  
Suddenly the captain moved and he was on top of me, kissing me forcibly. I moaned softly as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He slid his tongue along the seam of my lips as his hands traveled down my body is soft strokes and caresses. I shivered and moved into his touch, my body felt like it was getting set on fire, my nerves bursting into dazzling fireworks that I could see behind my eyelids.  
The captain broke the kiss and slowly traveled down my body, kissing and nipping at my skin as he descended. I looked down at him and could see his beautiful blue eyes staring back at me as his ran his teeth along my hipbone. I shuddered and began squirming, my hands clenching into fists and my breath increasing. His fingers slipped into the waistband of my pajama pants and slowly pulled the fabric down exposing my member. I felt his breath ghost over my quickly hardening cock and I bit back a moan.  
He kissed my thigh as he looked up at me and smiled before wrapping his hand around the base of my cock. He slid his hand slowly up the length of my member, swirling his thumb around the tip teasingly. My hips thrusted upwards and I moaned, the sensations have never felt like this before. The captain rested a hand on my hip, keeping my hips pinned to the bed before he leaned forward and took my cock into his mouth.  
The warm cavern of the captain’s mouth wrapped around my swollen member was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. He hollowed out his cheeks as he began to bob up and down the length of my cock. I reached down and tangled my fingers in the blond hair as his mouth continued to pull me apart piece by piece.  
It was when I was on the brink of release that the captain pulled away, my cock slipping from between his lips and he crawled back up to kiss me deeply. I moaned and moved my hips, seeking friction as I kissed him back. I whimpered softly as he moved his hand to grip my member again and he started stroking me again.  
The kisses continued until I was torn apart and my world shattered into fireworks and I spill my seed all over my chest.  
I kept my eyes closed, my breath slowing down as I gradually came down from my climax. Once I felt I had fully regained control of myself I opened my eyes and looked at the blond. He had moved to lay beside me on his side, one hand carding through my hair almost lovingly. I leaned into his touch and smile, “That was good. You have the most amazing mouth, Captain.”  
He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m glad we found another than your mouth is good at besides talking.”  
I rolled my eyes and sat up. “I am not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.”  
“Oh, definitely a compliment.”  
I got up out of bed slowly, stretching my limbs out as I went. “Well, we shall have to discover what else we are good at together, should we not?”  
The captain smiled as he watched me move around the room, gathering clothes so I could go take a bath. I glanced at him and smirked, “Care to join me, Captain?”  
“Well, it would seem only fair that I help clean you up after I dirtied your beautiful skin.” He got up and stretched, his muscles tensing and moving under his skin as he walked around the bed to stand behind me. I smiled and took his hand in mine before leaving the room and going to the bathroom.  
Once in there I turned on the tub and waited for it to get to the right temperature. When the temperature was just right I stepped into the bath and sat down in the hot water. I looked up at the captain and gestured for him to come in. A blush came to his face as he looked at me before slowly stepping into the tub and settling in the tub between my legs with his back to my chest. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his broad chest and kissed his shoulder.  
We stayed silent for a while, just enjoying the hot water and the company of the other. After a while though, I grew bored with the silence.  
“So, when shall we tell the Avengers about us?”  
The captain’s body tensed, “Um… I don’t… I don’t know… That’s kind of difficult… Um…”  
I rolled my eyes, “Tis not that difficult to tell your friends that we are something more.”  
“It is difficult though,” he insisted. “Clint doesn’t like you, in fact, he hates you. He’d be angry and would probably leave the Avengers and he’s a big asset to have. Not only him but Natasha would hate me as well. Everyone would think you have gotten into my head and forced me to like you. They need to trust me and my decisions I just can’t have the second guessing my decisions when we’re out in the field. Being with you, they won’t trust me.”  
“So, you would rather keep me a secret than lose your friends trust? I am not going to be content with remaining a secret for too long.”  
“I know, I just. I need time to figure out how to tell them.”  
I shook my head, “You better tell them, Captain, because if you do not I will.”  
“Please, Loki, just let me first tell them you’re living with me before we tell them anything more.”  
I nodded and smiled, “Fine. You have a week to tell them I am living with you. If after a week you still have not, I will tell them everything.”  
The captain nodded and we didn’t say anything more on the subject.

Three days later, Steve and I were sitting on the couch. I was reading and Steve was drawing, it was peaceful. Every now and then I would catch Steve staring at me and I would glance over, my green eyes meeting his blue ones, and he would smile at me before going back to his drawing. This was comfortable and I enjoyed this silence.  
“So,” Steve said as his pencil stopped moving across the page, “I was thinking.”  
“Well, that is never a good sign,” I smirked as I looked at him, setting my book down.  
He chuckled, “Gee, thanks. Anyways, I want to go on a date.”  
I raised an eyebrow, “A date?”  
He nodded, “Yeah. I want to take you out on a date. If you want to, I mean.”  
I watched the captain bite his lower lip as he waited for me to reply, his blue eyes looking everywhere but at me. I smiled to myself and decided not to answer right away. “What are you drawing?”  
Disappointment shone in his eyes as he took my change of subject as a rejection. He looked down at his sketchbook. “Oh, just, you know…” He shrugged.  
I smiled and plucked the book from his hands and looked at the drawing. It was a sketch of me reading my book. My eyes seemed to be looking at the viewer instead of the book and a slight smile was on my lips. A strand of hair was out of place, slightly in my face. It was a beautiful drawing. “It’s beautiful, is this truly how you see me?”  
Steve nodded, “Yeah, it is. Especially in that moment when you were reading.”  
I smiled and handed the sketchbook back to him, “I think you are just as stunning, yet I cannot draw you a picture to show you. Only say,” I stood up, and bent forward to kiss his lips before finishing, “I would love to go on a date with you.”  
I started walking to my room and heard the captain stutter as he stood up, “R-really?”  
I nodded and turned to look at him, “Shall we go tonight?”  
A smile was spread out on his face and he nodded, “Yes! Of course. When would you like to go?”  
“I’ll be ready in an hour, Darling.”  
I went into my room and smiled, he was a beautiful and sweet man. I looked through my clothes trying to decide on what to wear tonight and smiled when I settled on my choice. I was hoping my decision would please the captain, I was planning on going all out just for this one outing. Tonight, he would see a different me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for awhile. Was in sort of a slump where I wasn't coming up with anything good to write every time I sat down in front of the computer. Have an awesome idea for the next chapter so it shouldn't take me too long to write that one. Thanks!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Loki go on a date. Smut time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry for the delay in the new chapter. So much has been going on... I just recently moved and so packing took up a lot of time and I'm just now getting time to sit down and write. On top of that, I'm gonna be honest. This is my first story ever where I've written any kind of smut... It was a bit awkward trying to write it. Nothing sounded right and it was weird and part of me wanted to give up and not continue because there was no way I was gonna make it through this chapter. But some how I managed it... Granted the smut scene might not be that good, but hey, at least I got it done.  
> So yeah, if the smut is bad, sorry, it's my first time. I can't do better than what I did. So I hope you enjoyed it no matter how stupid it may sound...

Steve paced back and forth in the living room. He didn’t know how to dressed up he should be and decided to just go with dress pants and a white button up shirt. His blond hair was combed neatly in the same way he always has it. He was nervous about the date, nervous on if Loki would like what he had planned. Of course it was all spur of the moment ideas, but he couldn’t say he hadn’t thought of where he would take Loki on their first date.  
He ran a hand through his hair as he felt his stomach twist into knots. He didn’t know how much longer he could wait.  
And just as soon as he finished that thought, Steve heard the clicking of heels coming down the hall. When he looked up, his eyes went wide and his breath was taken away.  
Standing in front of him was a beautiful woman. Her long black hair hung in ringlets framing her beautiful face. She wore a dark green flowy dress that brought out her green eyes. The dress had a deep v neck, showing off her lovely breast. On her waist was a satin black ribbon that tied into a bow on her left hip, the tails hanging down to midthigh. The dress had a split in the side and stopped just above her ankles. She wore black stiletto high heels that gave her an extra three inches.  
She was beautiful.  
Her lips turned up in a smirk as she spoke, “Like what you see, Captain?”  
The blond nodded slowly before smiling at her, “More than like, I almost don’t want to share you with the world.”  
She laughed and it was beautiful. She took the last few steps towards him, closing the gap between the two and kissing him. He kissed her back, his hands moving to her waist pulling her a bit closer. She broke the kiss and looked up at the captain through her eyelashes, a small smile coming to her lips. “You could always get a sneak peak before we leave, if you want to keep me to yourself a bit longer.”  
He chuckled and gave her another soft kiss, “Tempting as that may be, I really just want to show you off. You are too beautiful to not show the world and tell them all you are mine.”  
She giggled, “How possessive of you.”  
“You bring it out in me,” he said as he took a step back and taking her hand. “Come on, I have a date planned for us.”  
The green eyed goddess smiled and nodded, “Lead the way, Captain.”  
They were almost out the door when Steve stopped and looked at her, his blue eyes wide with panic, “What’s your name?”  
Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion and she shook her head, “Um, Captain, I feel insulted that you cannot even remember my name.”  
The blond shook his head as he explained himself, “I mean who are you for tonight? I doubt I can call you Loki without drawing unwanted attention.”  
“Oh, please, Captain. You are going out on a date with a gorgeous woman on your arm. People are going to notice. However, I do see your point.” She thought about a good name to use before deciding on one, “Ariana.”  
“Ariana?”  
“Lady Ariana, heiress to a huge fortune. Daddy’s money of course.”  
The captain chuckled, “Alright, I could believe that.”  
“Good, because that’s who I am.”  
The couple smiled at each other before leaving the apartment and heading down the street. They walked together in silence, Loki’s arm linked with Steve’s. Every now and then Steve would point out a street he played on or a place he visited often. Loki enjoyed listening to the stories, taking in every detail and memorizing, trying to figure out the captain and how he is the way he is.  
After ten minutes of walking and Steve lead Loki to the first destination of their date. It was a small local art gallery that Steve visited every once in awhile, he even had some of his own artwork displayed here as he knew the owner.  
Loki looked around the gallery and immediately found one of the captain’s drawings. It was a sketch of the Brooklyn skyline, half captured from Steve’s memories from his childhood, the other captured from the modern day.  
Steve looked at the sketch that had captured the goddess’s eye. “That was the first thing I drew after the ice. I was sitting on top of a building, trying to figure everything out and hoping to find even a little bit of the Brooklyn I knew. Instead, it reminded me more of how out of my time I was. Yet, even in the moment of wondering why it all happened, one thing did remained the same.”  
Loki looked closer at the drawing and saw that the sun was setting, “No matter what era you are in, the sun and the sky always remain the same.”  
Steve shrugged, “Somethings change, but a sunset is still as beautiful as the first time you see one.”  
The goddess looked up at Steve and smiled, “It is beautiful.”  
The artist smiled as his blue eyes met her green ones, “You’re beautiful.”  
A small blush appeared on the fallen princess’ cheeks as she quickly looked away and found another painting. She walked over to it and gazed at it, trying to shake the blush from her cheeks. Steve followed her to the painting and rested his hand on her waist. This piece was from another local artist. It was a painting of a bookstore with people reading and looking at books all with various amount of books around them. Loki looked at the people and smiled, “It almost reminds me of my days in the library.”  
Steve looked at her curious, “Really?”  
She nodded, “Yeah. I went there a lot, I always felt out of place around the castle and the library was often my haven as Thor rarely ever went in there. Being the younger brother, Thor often felt it was his duty to bully me. We got along, of course, but we still fought. There was this corner of the library that had a daybed and sat next to a fireplace and a table always stacked tall with books. That was my corner. No one went that far back into the library and so I was free to claim it. All the books on the table became mine, books that were either my favorite or they were books I wanted to read. Centuries there and I didn’t even get a chance to read all the books in there. My table is still stacked tall with books I was so looking forward to read. Now, it’ll never happen.”  
The captain listened to her words and watched her expression turn from bittersweet to wistful. Pain was clearly written on her face as she spoke of old memories and old feelings. She leaned into the captain and sighed as she closed her eyes. “Let us go before I ruin our date with memories I would rather forget.”  
Steve nodded and pulled her close, “It’s okay to hold onto those memories, Loki-”  
“Ariana,” Loki interrupted.  
He smiled, “Ariana. It’s what helps to get your through hard times.”  
She nodded, “I know, but now is not the time to reminisce over childish nonsense.”  
The dark princess pulled away and started to leave the gallery, her head held high looking graceful and every amount of goddess that she was. The artist followed behind her, watching her walk and trying to commit how she moves to memory. When they were outside she turned to look at the captain, waiting to find out where they were going next.  
He smiled at her, she looked beautiful and he was glad to be showing her off. He offered her his hand, which she gladly took, and he lead her down the road to a classy little restaurant he had grown fond of. It wasn’t a high class restaurant, but the food was a bit more expensive than if they just ordered take out. They went in and were immediately seated. They ordered their drinks and then looked over the menus to determine what it was they wanted.  
“See anything good you would like to try?” Steve asked as he looked over the menu.  
Loki shrugged, “I am not sure. The food here looks good, but I cannot say for certain what I would like.”  
He smiled, “Well, how about oysters and maybe a small bowl of clam chowder? Those are pretty good here, and they are brought in from Maine.”  
The goddess looked at him confused, “And it matters where they come from?”  
“Yeah,” he said, “New England is great for seafood. Maine does a lot of it and I think it’s where the best seafood come from.”  
“I see. Well, then I shall try those. What about you, my love?”  
A blush rose to the captain’s cheeks, “Um, well, maybe I’ll have some steak along with baked potatoes. That sounds quite good.”  
With the meal decided they waited until the server came to order and collect the menus. Steve looked at his date and smiled, “So, tell me more of the library.”  
Loki looked at him and shook her head, “I’d rather not revisit that.”  
“Please? You seemed to have enjoyed remembering it.”  
She sighed, “Why do you want to know about my library?”  
“It’s a different side to you. I know you like to read but I didn’t know you had a table that held all the books you wanted to read.”  
“Well, it didn’t hold all the books. Some were taken back to my room sitting in stacks around my bed and piled high on my desk, and some were scattered along the daybed or on the floor. There were a lot of books and I just kept finding more before I could finish one.”  
Steve chuckled, “Is that so?”  
Loki nodded and smiled, “Yeah. I would stay up all night just reading which often got me into trouble because I would be falling asleep during my lessons or I wouldn’t show up at all. Odin would be furious with my performances in combat training but Frigga would calm him down enough to get his attention off me. She taught me everything I know about magic, well almost everything. She helped teach me how to use my daggers so when I was training with Thor it became a fair fight. I won a few fights after studying with Frigga.”  
“Thor must not have been pleased.”  
She shook her head and laughed, “He was furious! He accused me of using my magic to gain an advantage because there was no way I could have beaten him.”  
“And did you?” Steve asked. “Use your magic I mean?”  
“Of course I did. By that time I knew how to use it discreetly enough that even the trainer couldn’t tell I was using it. There was no way at the time that I would have been able to take on Thor and win.”  
The captain laughed and shook his head, “Did Thor ever find out?”  
Loki shrugged, “I never admitted to it, but he did pay closer attention to my movements and technique. After that I learned how to make copies of myself and would send one to fight Thor while I would sit in a corner and read or practice more magic.”  
At this time the server came back with their meals and asked if there was anything else they wanted. After Steve thanking them and declining anything else the server left and they enjoyed their food. Loki tried the oysters and clam chowder, it was delicious and she made sure to thank the captain for the suggestion.  
“We don’t have food like this on Asgard. Mostly we just have Sæhrímnir every night.”  
“Sæhrímnir?”  
“It is a beast that is killed and served every night. After it is eaten it comes back to life just to be prepared and eaten the next night. Of course there are other creatures we eat besides the Sæhrímnir, but that’s what we eat. It is very different to what we have here.”  
Steve nodded as he cut a piece of his stake and ate it. “Well, I think I like having these different kinds of food.”  
Loki nodded, “It is different and good.”  
They both ate in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the food. After a while, Loki cleared her throat and asked, “What was your childhood like?”  
Steve chewed the food that was in his mouth and swallowed before replying, “It was difficult. I was a small and sickly child and so I didn’t have many friends. I met Bucky when I was being beaten up in an alleyway and he stepped in to save me. That would just be one of many fights that he would save me from. Besides being beaten up on a daily basis, Bucky and I had each others backs. I would start a fight and Bucky would end it. Whenever I was in the hospital or home sick Bucky was there to make my day better. He would set up these double dates with girls, never letting me be left out even though the girls he would set me up with hated me.”  
“He sounds like a good friend.”  
“He was. He was like a brother to me.”  
Loki smiled and reached out to rest a hand on her date’s hand, “I wish I could have met him.”  
“Oh I’m sure you two would have gotten along. You both would make fun of me and talk about all the times you guys have gotten into trouble and charmed your way out.”  
“That would be quite enjoyable. Too bad it is not possible.”  
They finished eating in silence, brushing hands every now and then. When they were done they paid for the food before leaving the restaurant. Together they walked hand in hand down the road and headed towards the park.  
Steve smiled as he looked up at the night sky. “It’s a beautiful night.”  
Loki nodded, “It certainly is. Such a beautiful night to be on a wonderful date.”  
“With a beautiful woman.”  
A small smile graced the lips on the beautiful goddess’s face. She looked at the handsome man holding her hand and walking beside her. “You are a beautiful man, Captain.”  
He stopped and turned to look at her, taking both of her hands in his own as he said, “The stars could not compare the light shining in your eyes. No rose could compare to those red lips you have. The sun could not brighten my life in the way you have lit up my world since you have come to me. I could try and find another as beautiful as you, but I would search my whole life throughout the universe and find no one to compare. You are beauty, grace, mischief, passion, and pride.” Steve gently caressed Loki’s cheek with the back of his hand as he looked into her eyes.  
Loki blushed and bit her bottom lip as she leaned into his touch. “And they call me Silvertongue.”  
“It’s true, you are beautiful, Loki.” Steve smiled and leaned in to place his lips on hers softly.  
Loki returned the kiss by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close to her, deepening the kiss. She ran her fingers through his hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. The kiss felt magical to them both, they bodies tingling in every place they connected with the other. It was the best kiss either of them had and they never wanted it to end.

Steve pressed Loki up against the door as soon as he kicked it closed behind them. They were back at the apartment and could already feel things heating up. Loki gasped and tugged at Steve’s shirt, pulling it up and off the blond’s body. She pulled him back into a kiss as she ran her hands down his back and pulled him up against her.  
His lips found her neck and he bit and sucked as his hands pushed the fabric of her dress up so he could run his hands over her thighs. Loki moaned and exposed more of her neck to the man as his hands slowly moved up her body. He reached behind her and pulled at the zipper, the dress sliding down to pool at her feet. Steve put his hands on the back of her thighs and lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom. Once in the room he gently laid her down on the bed and looked down at her.  
She was beautiful, her black hair fanned out on the pillow, her green eyes hooded with desire. She wore a strapless black bra with a small green bow in the middle between her breasts and matching black panties with green bows on the sides. The sight of her took his breath away.  
Loki smiled up at him, his blue eyes bright and a blush on his cheeks. His hair was a mess from her tugging on it which made him look even sexier than normal. She pulled him down to her, kissing him deeply as her hands travelled down his chest, to his stomach and lower until she was at the waistband of his pants. She quickly unzipped and unbuttoned his pants before pushing them down. Steve helped her take his pants off kicking the off to the side, leaving him in only his boxers.  
Steve trailed kissed to her neck and downwards. He kissed the top of each breast before unclasping her bra and taking it off her, revealing her round breasts. He took one of her nipples in his mouth while he used his hand to gently massage her other breast. He rolled his tongue around the nub and gently scraped his teeth against it as he listened to her moan.  
Loki’s back arched as she gripped at the sheets beneath her, her breath increasing as she let out a small whimper. His mouth on her felt amazing. His hands softly caressed her body, touching, feeling everything. The way he touched her made her feel like he was sculpting her body, molding her in anyway he wanted. Soft touches, soft kisses as he released her nipple and started to kiss down her stomach. She was his to mold into any shape he so desired, and she loved it.  
Steve stop just above the line of her panties before pulling them down and off her. He moved back up and kissed her lips as his hands gently touched and caressed the inside of her thighs, keeping away from the one place she wanted him to touch.  
She let out a whimper as she spread her legs, inviting him to touch her in the most sensitive place. When he made no move to touch her, she reached up and grabbed his hand moving him to the spot she wanted him. He let her guide her to where she wanted him, giving a soft and gentle rub to her inner core. After feeling she was wet enough he removed his hand and moved to position himself at her opening before pushing in slowly.  
Loki gasped and arched her back, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck. Steve stopped, not sure if he was hurting her or not, and waited for her permission to continue. Slowly she began to move her hips against him and he moaned softly.  
“Steve, please,” she whimpered softly against his neck before biting him.  
Slowly, he started to pull out before thrusting back in gently. He kept a slow gentle pace, pausing in between thrusts to see how she would react. He didn’t want to hurt her, he wanted to give her pleasure and to find out what made her feel good. Steve looked at her, her green eyes squeezed closed and her red lips parted a bit. Her hands rested on his back, holding him close to her as she moved her hips to meet his. She looked so beautiful, with her hair in a mess and a red blush on her cheeks. He leaned down and kissed her before thrusting into her a bit harder than before. She moaned and arched her back, her legs wrapping around his waist.  
“Steve,” she moaned against his lips as they moved against each other.  
The blond moaned as he got closer to his release and he proceeded to try and bring her release first. He didn’t want to leave her unsatisfied. He knew when he hit the right spot when she gasped and her eyes opened wide. He concentrated on that spot and began to thrust faster and a bit harder. Together the moaned as their release approached. It was Steve who came first, but Loki wasn’t far behind as he thrusted through his release.  
Finished, Steve pulled out and rolled over to lay beside her. They were both spent and tired, Loki was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. Until one thought crossed her mind.  
“Shit!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki get to spend some time together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seems a bit boring... Next chapter should be a lot better...

My head was swimming and I was still trying to come down from my orgasm when the thought crossed my mind. We just had sex. It was good, he wasn’t bad, that wasn’t the problem. Having sex in general wasn’t the problem. No, the problem was that we had sex and I’m a woman.  
We had sex…  
Without a condom…  
Fuck…  
Normally I don’t think much about it. But that’s because I’m normally always a man when I have sex. This was my first time being a woman with a man in more than a thousand years. The last time I had sex with a man as a woman I got pregnant. I sat up and looked down at the captain whose blue eyes were looking at me with concern.  
“Loki? Is everything okay? You look panicked?”  
He sat up as I shook my head. My mind was racing and I couldn’t find the words to say any thought fluttering through my brain.  
“Was it… Was it bad? Did you not like it?”  
If my mind wasn’t already racing I would laugh at him. It was the best thing ever, but we didn’t have a condom! How has that not gotten through to him? How is he not concerned with that? Furry began to boil inside of me and I glared at him.  
“No, you idiot! That’s not it! How could you be so stupid?”  
The captain flinched from my words and looked visibly hurt like I had struck him. I stood up and started pacing trying to figure out what to do.  
“I don’t… What did I do, Loki? I thought you wanted it? You made it seem like that’s what you wanted. I mean-”  
“No! You don’t understand! How could you not understand? It was the best thing ever! It was the best sex I’ve had in centuries!”  
“Then why are you mad?” He seem genuinely confused, which just made me madder.  
“Because, you idiot! You didn’t use a condom!”  
A blush rose to the captain’s cheeks as my words sank in and he looked down, “Oh.”   
“Yeah, ‘oh’. I could get pregnant because of you!”  
His blue eyes looked up at me curious, “And you can’t change back to being a male before your egg gets fertilized?”  
“Of course not you idiot! That’s-” I stopped and thought over what he just said. Wait… Why couldn’t I just change back to male? I took a deep breath before using my magic to turn me back into a male. I sighed and sat on the bed before looking over at Steve. “Apologies, I guess I was so freaked out I didn’t think of it.”  
He smiled at me, “You are apologizing to me for being worried about that? Loki, I understand why you wouldn’t have thought about just changing back to prevent the pregnancy. You don’t have to apologize.”  
I shook my head, “I should have known that without you having to tell me.”  
“You probably did, but given the fact that we just had sex and the idea...it probably clouded your mind and you couldn’t focus.”  
How right he was. That was exactly why I didn’t think of it, and that pissed me off. No matter the reason, my mind should have never been cloudy. I’ve gone through too much, sacrificed too much, to let one mortal take away my thoughts, to cloud my judgement. I quickly grabbed my silk green robe and rushed out of the room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.  
I turned on the faucet and waited for the tub to fill up. When the tub was halfway full a knock came through the door.  
“Loki? Are you okay?”  
“All is well, Captain, I just wish to bathe in peace.”  
There was no reply for a moment before he heard the captain sigh and walk away.  
Slowly, I stood and got into the tub, letting the heat burn his skin.   
I laid in the bath and closed my eyes. I was so furious. How could I not have thought of just changing back to a male after having sex? How could a human as average as the captain think of it and I couldn’t? Of course the captain isn’t really average. He is strong, and intelligent. Not as intelligent as I, which is why this bothers me so.  
I wanted to be so mad at the captain for knowing this, but in reality I was mad at myself for not knowing. Of course the captain needs not know. Let him believe I am angry at him. I need not explain my frustrations over this.  
I sighed and rested in the tub, the water felt too good to abandon just yet, and I still wanted to avoid the captain for as long as I could.  
Just my luck though, a knock came to the door again.  
“Loki?” The captain’s voice came through the wood of the door.  
I flicked my wrist at the door, letting the lock come undone. “Come in.”  
The captain came in fully clothed in his armor except for his helmet.  
“I just got called in on an assignment. I’ve got to go. I don’t know when I’ll be back. Tony’s gonna come and keep you company.”  
“I do not need the man of Iron to keep me company. I shall be fine on my own.”  
“I know, but it would keep my mind at ease knowing someone is taking care of you.”  
I scowled at him, “You do not trust me.”  
He sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair. “It’s not that, Loki. I don’t have time to explain or fight with you over it. Tony is on his way over and I’ve got to go. Please, just behave. He’s doing me a favor and I would be happy if you just accept this.”  
I shook my head and stood up, getting out of the bath, “Fine, sees as I have no choice in the matter.”  
“Loki.”  
“Don’t, Captain. You said you do not have time to discuss this with me. Go, we shall have it out when you return.”  
I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my hips and went to leave the bathroom. As I was passing the blond midgardian, he slipped a hand around my waist and pulled me into a kiss. It was forceful and was as if he was trying to express to me what he felt about the situations. I kissed him back before pulling away, “Go, Captain. Everything shall be fine, I promise.”  
He nodded and went into the living room to wait for Tony and his ride. I went to my room and got dressed in my green silk pajama pants.  
When I went to the living room, the man of iron stood there talking to the captain.  
“Mr. Stark,” I said politely as I went and got a glass of water.  
“Reindeer games. Ready for a night of fun?”  
I looked at the bearded man and raised and eyebrow, “Am I to be left alone?”  
“No! Of course not. It’s gonna be you and me hanging out, getting to know each other, gossiping about Cap here and maybe drinking. No, definitely drinking.”  
I rolled my eyes and took a sip of water. “Sounds...delightful.”  
“Sure it does. Better than spending all the time in the world with Captain Tight Pants.”  
The captain scowled and I laughed, “I assure you, Mr. Stark, the good captain here certainly does not have tight pants.”  
“Ookay, I don’t want to know. We’ll discuss that later.”  
I smirked, “I thought you said you didn’t want to know.”  
The blond shook his head and looked at Tony, “Thanks for doing this for me, it means a lot.”  
Tony shrugged, “Sure, no problem. Can’t leave Antlers here by himself, that could be dangerous.”  
“Tony, please.”  
The man smiled and raised his hands in mock surrender, “Okay, Cap, whatever you say.”  
The captain left not long later, leaving the genius and I alone together. Tony threw himself down on the couch and sighed. “I’m not happy about this either, antlers. I would rather be in my lab working on my new suit the here babysitting you.”  
I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, “I do not need a babysitter. I am fine on my own.”  
“I’m sure you think you are, but Cap doesn’t. If he did, he wouldn’t have called and beg me to come here and watch over you.”  
I rolled my eyes, “I doubt the captain begged you to come.”  
“Well, maybe he didn’t beg, but he was desperate. He didn’t want you to be left to your own devices.”  
I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling a tightening in my chest. I turned away from the self proclaimed genius, wanting to hide the pain I felt by his words. “Do whatever you wish to do, Mr. Stark, but do not expect me to spend any time with you.”  
I started to walk to my room ignoring the man calling to me. The captain didn’t trust me. I knew this, so why did it hurt me so to find out it is true? Feeling hurt and upset, I slammed the door to my room and sunk down to the floor in front of the door.  
I was being stupid. I was being a child. This I all knew, but I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. Why must Thor have brought me here? Why to this man who was so caring and understanding? I could feel my heart breaking. Do I even have a heart left to break? I thought it was shattered to pieces once Odin tossed me from the bifrost. Apparently there was a little bit that remained in tack and it is slowly being ripped apart.  
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, resolving myself to never cry over this man again. No. I would do everything in my power not to let this man in. He could not destroy me. I have been through enough that he could not do any worse. Or at least I will not let him do any worse.  
I forced myself to smile and stand up, feeling the mask drop back into places before leaving my room and going to the kitchen yet again.  
Stark still sat on the couch and turned to look at me as I came down the hall.  
“I thought you didn’t want to spend any time with me?” he asked as I joined him on the couch.  
“Well, I thought I should take you up on that offer of a drink. I declined last time you offered and decided I should at least make up for last time.”  
A smile spread across his bearded face and he nodded, “Great! Though I doubt Capsicle has anything good to drink. Maybe we should go to a bar. Or do you just want to go buy some from a store and come back here?”  
I thought about it and shrugged, “Why not both? Let us go to a bar to get started then come back here to finish it off?”  
The man nodded and stood up, “Sounds like a plan. But just so you know, this doesn’t mean I trust you. I just want to get drunk.”  
“Yes, I know. You are a drunkard, Tony Stark. Everyone knows this.” I quickly used magic to turn my clothes into a simple black shirt and black jeans before putting on my shoes.  
He scowled before grabbing his keys off the table and left the apartment with me trailing behind.

“And he blushed at the young man’s words! His ears turned pink and everything. It was adorable.” I giggled as I recalled the memory of the captain blushing at the bookstore with the young salesman.  
Tony laughed and shook his head, “He is too innocent for his own good.”  
“Or his far from innocent, Stark. You just have to dig a bit deeper to find it.”  
“Have you yet to find it? Because I certainly haven’t.”  
I shrugged, “Only time will tell. But do tell me a bit about him, Stark. You know him better than I do.”  
He shrugged and looked down at his drink. “I know a lot about him from what my father told me. Dad used to talk a lot about him and sometimes I wondered if maybe he was disappointed in me because I wasn’t like Steve Rogers.”  
I nodded and took a sip from my drink. “I understand that. On Asgard it was always “Thor did this” or “Thor did that” “Thor is so great!” And I was always left in the shadow.”  
“Yeah, but it couldn’t have been all that bad. I mean, someone had to be there for you.”  
I shrugged, “Mother taught me magic but eventually it stopped and I started learning on my own. Thor was the one that always got Odin’s approval. The last time I asked for his approval he tossed me into an abyss.”  
“Now I’m sure he didn’t actually toss you into the abyss.”  
I shrugged, “Well, no, not really. He didn’t toss me into it, more like I let go. But it was his words that cut me so much I lost all hope and just wanted to die. Of course that didn’t work.”  
“And then you wound up here trying to rule the world.”  
“There were other plans in motion at the time. I didn’t care for you world, more as I wanted a way home. But enough of this, tell me of Steve Rogers.”

When we arrived home later, we stumbled into the dark apartment laughing. I had opened up the bottle of whiskey we had purchased and had started drinking it on the way home. Though of course the alcohol that was served here on Midgard couldn’t get me drunk, I was feeling a lot better.  
Stark and I had gotten to know each other and bit more through the night and I even learned some new things about the captain, though not a lot. Tony sprawled out on the couch and looked up at me through bloodshot eyes.  
“You know, you aren’t that bad, Reindeer games.”  
I chuckled, “You aren’t that bad yourself, Stark.”  
He yawned and closed his eyes. “I think I’m just gonna lay here and maybe…” he trailed off as he fell asleep still fully clothed and with his shoes on.  
I shook my head and threw a blanket over him before retreating to my room.  
As I laid down in my bed for the night I thought of what I had learned and what we discussed. I fell asleep with the thought of blue eyes and kissable lips on my mind.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony have a bit of a...disagreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Life got busy. I had moved and then my cat was attacked by a dog (She's okay, but she was shaken up a bit) so I ended up moving again. So in order to try and make up for it there's a little bit of smut? in this chapter. Hope you like it... Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter. Already have major plans for that one.

Steve returned home early the next morning. Tony was still passed out on the couch and all the lights were off. Passing by the sleeping man, he went to Loki’s room to check on him. Slowly opening the door, he peaked into the room. Loki was curled up on his side facing the door. He was shirtless and the blanket was pulled up to his hips but one leg was exposed up to the thigh, showing he was also pantless.  
Steve smiled at the sight, the dark prince was beautiful. He went into the room more and went to sit on the edge of the bed. He gently caressed the pale cheek and whispered, “Loki?”  
A soft moan come from the throat but no sign of the god waking. He whispered his name again until he woke up, blinking up at the blond.  
“Captain? What time is it?” he asked sleepily.  
Steve smiled, “Three thirty.”  
Loki nodded. “Why are you waking me up at three thirty in the morning?”  
His smile fell and he looked away, “I wanted to let you know I was home.”  
“And now you did. Now may I go back to sleep?”  
The blond nodded and stood up, “Yeah. Sure. Sorry. I’ll see you in the morning.”  
Steve was almost out the door when Loki called his name. He stopped and turned around to look at the god who gave a small smile. “Welcome home, Steve.”  
He smiled and nodded, “It’s good to be home, Loki. Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight.”  
Steve left the room and closed the door behind him. He sighed and went into the bathroom to take a shower and clean off before going to bed. Slowly, he peeled off his uniform and then stepped into the shower. He let the water wash away the sweat and dirt, ridding himself of all the crud that clung to his body. He grabbed the soap and washcloth and began to was himself.  
The captain sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. He thought he was making progress with the dark prince, but apparently he was wrong. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to ruin things with the god before anything really started. He felt something for him, something he hdn’t felt since before the ice.  
The fact that it was for a man was confusing. He was always taught that it was a sin to like someone of the same sex. He would be a disgrace if anyone were to find out. He was meant to be a reminder of the simple times.  
He gave another sigh before shutting off the shower and getting out to dry off. He wrapped the towel around his waist and left the bathroom, heading to his room to put his pajama pants on. Once he was dry and dressed he climbed into his bed and went to sleep.

It was 5:30 when Steve woke up covered in a cold sweat, his breathing erratic and his heart pounding in his chest. He had dreamt about the ice again. He sat up and looked around his dark room. When he first awoke, he thought he was back in 1945, driving the plane right into the ocean and freezing over into the ice. But he quickly realized that wasn’t the case. Instead he found himself in his new time, in his new home, his new life. With a god sleeping in the room just down the hall.  
He laid back down, wanting to go back to sleep, but he was too wired. He laid there for a bit just staring at his ceiling before deciding to go for a run, hoping that would quiet his mind.  
He got up and got dressed in a tee shirt and sweatpants. After putting his running shoes on, he walked down the hall and stopped at Loki’s room.  
Slowly opening the door he peered inside the room and at the sleeping god. Loki was lying on his side, facing away from the door sleeping peacefully. Steve smiled before quietly closing the door so as not to awaken the god for the second time that night.  
He walked into the living room and saw Tony still curled up on the couch asleep. The captain frowned. Everyone in the house was asleep except for him.  
So he left. Leaving his apartment and going to the nearby park to ron. He let his mind wander for a bit before he finally zoned into his running and his mind finally shut down. When he finally returned home the sun was up and it was quarter to seven.  
He went inside and found Tony awake and talking to Loki as they both ate some cereal.  
When he walked in they both went silent and looked at him.  
Tony smiled at the captain. “Good morning, sunshine.”  
Steve rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.  
“You’re up early for someone who came home at 3:30 this morning.” Loki said as he took a bite of his cereal.  
The captain nodded and took a sip of his water. “Yeah well, I couldn’t sleep.”  
Loki nodded before turning back to the billionaire and resuming his conversation. “So as I was saying, it’s just simple magic. I reconstruct my appearance and my organs and it makes it possible for me to have kids.”  
Tony shook his head, “Sorry, I just don’t believe that. There’s no way you could change your organs from female to male. It’s impossible. Besides there’s no such thing as magic.”  
Loki laughed, “You want proof?”  
Tony smirked, “Sure, but I doubt you’ll be able to-”  
Tony cut himself off as Loki slowly changed form as a ring of green light traveled over his body. He was only wearing his green silk pajama pants to begin with so when he changed into a female she sat in front of Tony with he chest exposed.  
Tony’s jaw dropped as he took in the beautiful woman sitting in front of him. “How is this real?” Tony asked as he gazed at her breasts.  
“It just is. I told you, it’s magic.”  
The captain growled, he didn’t like the way Tony was looking at Loki. He grabbed the blanket that was hanging off the back of the couch that Tony had used the night before and threw it over the bare chested goddess trying to cover her up. “That’s enough, Loki,” The captain said strongly.  
Tony looked at the captain, “Oh, come now, Cap. She’s hot!”  
Steve shook his head, “It’s impolite to stare at her like that, Tony.”  
“Not when she clearly wants you to.”  
“Thank you, Tony,” Loki said as she pulled the blanket off her. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him myself.”  
Steve shook his head, “It’s still wrong.”  
Loki stood up and turned to face Steve. “As I’ve told you before, Captain, I want you to look. I want you to touch. And it’s quite insulting that you do not wish to do so.”  
“Just saying, Cap, but if I had a hot woman like her wanting me to look and touch her, I would do it.”  
Steve glared at the self proclaimed genius. “Don’t you have Pepper?”  
“Yeah, but she’s not so willing as Loki is. Pepper is hot and I love her, don’t get me wrong, but she doesn’t walk around topless.”  
“And neither does Loki when she’s a female.”  
“But she should. She’s hot, Cap!”  
“I’m not going to discuss this with you, Tony. You just don’t understand.”  
“No, Cap, I do understand, but I also understand where she’s coming from. It’s not rude to look if she wants you to look.”  
Loki shook her head and transformed back into a man before saying, “It’s fine, Tony. I guess the captain and I are just too different.” And with that Loki disappeared.  
Steve sighed, “Shit.”  
Tony stood up and shook his head, “Way to go, Capsicle.”  
“Me?” The captain looked at the billionaire incredulously. “You’re the one that brought it up.”  
“All I said was she was hot.”  
“And that I should look at her.”  
“Well you should. Cap, I get you come from a time where it wasn’t acceptable, but when a woman willingly takes off her shirt and tells you she wants you to look and touch her, it’s unacceptable to not do that. Especially when that woman is a hot god.”  
Steve understood what Tony was saying, but she still couldn’t accept it. It’s not how he was brought up. He was taught to respect women and they way Tony and Loki were telling him to look at her wasn’t how you respected a woman in his time.  
But his isn’t in his time.  
He was in a completely different world.  
He was in a world where looking at a woman the way Tony was looking at Loki was acceptable.  
But did that mean he had to completely change his views.  
“You do if you want to keep him.”  
“What?” The captain asked confused.  
“You asked if you had to completely change your views. Which you do if you want to keep him. He’s frustrated with you, Cap, he told me that much last night. He doesn’t understand why you won’t look at him when he keeps tell you he want you to look.”  
Steve sighed, “Tony, I can’t explain it any better than I already have. It’s just not how I was brought up.”  
“I get that, Cap. But if you want to keep him, you either need to find away to make him understand, or change. And I only mean change how you treat him.”  
“I can’t change overnight, Tony.”  
Tony shrugged, “Then talk to him. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of serious talk for one week. I’m gonna go home. Let me know when Professor Snape returns.”  
And with that, Tony left.  
Steve was alone. He decided to go take a shower to wash away the sweat from running. When he stepped out of the shower though Loki was standing in front of the door.  
Steve stood there frozen, shocked to see him there.  
Loki smiled, “So it is okay for me to stare at you, but not for you to stare at me? I do not understand your logic, Captain.”  
Steve went to grab his towel but it was mysteriously gone.  
Loki smirked and came closer to Steve, slowly taking off his silk pajama pants. Once Loki stood fully unclothed in front of the captain, he stepped into the shower, turned the water back on and closed the curtain. Now that the water cascaded over both men’s bodies, Loki stood there look at Steve like a fox would look at a fat rabbit. Steve was trying to keep his eyes on Loki’s face only but he kept looking down, following the path of the water drops.  
Don’t to his collar bone, down to his chest, over one nippled, down to his stomack. Around the indentation in his stomach, and down to his hips. Down past his hips to his creamy pale thighs, next to his swollen erect cock.  
Loki looked absolutely like everything Steve could ever hope for and more. And when Steve made eye contact with the god again, he was pushed up against the shower wall and was given a firm kiss.  
Loki pressed himself against the captain, feeling his muscles as he moved. The blond wrapped his arms around his waist and held him close as he kissed him back gently.  
The kiss was a mix of emotions. Lust, sorrows, forgiveness, hope, and what neither would admit out loud, love. As the water fell over them, their need to show each other how they felt was rising. They clung to each other as they kissed, Steve slipping his tongue into Loki’s mouth and fighting for dominance, which, for once Loki was happy to surrender to.  
Loki reached up and wrapped his arms around the captain’s neck, sliding his hands into the wet blond hair. He pressed himself against the other male even more, letting his cock rub against the other’s thigh. He moaned softly into Steve’s mouth as the captain ran a hand down his back, grabbing his ass and pulling him as close as he could.  
Steve slowly moved his hand to grab Loki’s cock and gave it a gentle squeeze before rubbing his thumb over the tip. He heard Loki moan as he broke the kiss and looked at the beautiful god’s face. Loki bit his lip as he looked at the captain with half lidded eyes. Steve smiled and kissed Loki’s neck as he took both Loki’s and his own dick in hand and started stroking both their shafts rubbing them together. Loki moaned and leaned his head back as his hips thrusted forward against the captain’s hand.  
With every stroke the captain ran his thumb over the tips and squeezed just a bit harder. The blond continued to kiss and suck at the god’s neck, listening to the quiet moans that would slip between those beautiful lips.  
Loki’s hands moved to cup the super soldier’s face and brought him up to kiss him. Their breaths started mingling together as they gave each other open mouth kisses. They listened to each other moan as Steve’s hand slid along their members, rubbing their tips together at the end of each stroke.  
Loki leaned his head back and moaned as he got closer to his release. He could feel his testicles rise and he began kissing the captain with a renewed vigor.  
Their hips started moving in sync, both racing to find their orgasm. It wasn’t much longer after that that Loki came crying Steve’s name. Steve watched as the god came undone in his hand and it didn’t take long before he followed suit.  
The cum mixed together only for a second before it was washed away from the water washing over them. They both stood there, close together as they tried to regain control of their breathing and trying to come down from their post orgasmic bliss.  
Finally Loki pulled away and looked at the soldier, “Wow.”  
Steve smiled, “Cat got your tongue, Silver Tongue?”  
Silver Tongue smiled at that, “Oh trust me, Captain, I am never without intelligent words.”  
“Oh really?” Steve asked. “Tell me then, what brought all that on?”  
Loki shrugged, “Wanted to give you a reason not to throw what we have away.”  
“And what do we have?”  
Another shrug. “You tell me, Captain.”  
Loki turned to wash himself off before climbing out of the shower and leaving the Captain alone under the spray of water.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Steve have a little talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I almost wasn't going to post this tonight. However, it is Halloween and honestly Halloween is my Christmas. So I figured I would post a chapter tonight for Halloween. Although there is only about ten minutes left of Halloween. Anyways, originally there wasn't going to be any smut in this chapter but as it was supposed to my Halloween chapter I figured I'd give it to you. Hope you like it. Also, I'm quite surprised I got it done tonight. I honestly wrote most of this chapter in twenty minutes so yeah. Hope you enjoy!

I sat on my bed, my back up against the wall with a book supported by my legs as I read. I was halfway through the book when a knock came to my door. Without looking up from the book I gestured to the door and it swung open slowly. The captain stood in the door frame looking at me, his hair still wet from the shower.  
“Yes?” I asked, my eyes still skimming over the words on the page.  
“I just wanted to say I was sorry for this morning. I know it can be confusing how I...react to that.” The captain’s voice was soft and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed beside me.  
I shrugged, “You are from another time, Captain, it is understandable that you don’t know how to react to a woman showing you her breasts.”  
“Really?” Steve asked astonished.  
I raised my eyes to look at him over the book, “Yes?”  
He shook his head, “You are confusing me. One minute you are angry because you don’t understand my views, the next you are accepting of it?”  
I shrugged and went back to reading my book. “You are better off not trying to figure me out, Captain. It would be like trying to grasp the wind in your bare hands, impossible.”  
“You aren’t impossible, Loki, just confusing.”  
“Either way. I am sure we will have the same argument again as it will certainly frustrate me when you decide not to look.”  
“I don’t want to have this argument again. I want us to both understand each other. I want you to understand how I feel about it. I want to understand how you feel about it.”  
I put my bookmark in the book and closed it before setting it on the bed. “It appears I will not be able to read until we have talked. So go on, Captain, talk.”  
He shook his head, “Must you really be so difficult, Loki?”  
I crossed my arms over my chest, “All I want is to read in peace, yet you seem to want to talk. So, talk so that I may continue my reading.”  
Steve ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he stood up and started pacing the length of my room. “Why can’t we just talk? Without you being such an ass about it?”  
“You wish to speak, Captain. I’m listening, so just talk already.”  
Steve shook his head, “You make this more difficult than it should be.”  
“I never said I would make it easy,” I replied, a small smirk at my lips.  
“You never make anything easy, Loki.”  
I rolled my eyes and picked up my book again, flipping back to the page I was on. “If you are not going to talk about whatever it is you wanted to discuss I am going back to my reading.”  
All of a sudden my book was out of my hands and thrown onto the foot of the bed. I glared up at the captain before standing up my eyes glowing with anger. “You do not want to do that again, Captain. I may be your prisoner, but I am still a sorcerer more powerful than you.”  
Steve crossed the room to me quickly and pulled me into a kiss, pushing me up against the wall. I roughly shoved him away from me and glared at him.  
The man out of time looked at me hotly, “I’m not trying to piss you off, Loki, much as you seem to think that is my intent. I just want us to talk. I want to know if we can make this work. I want to know now before we get too invested and one of us gets hurt.”  
“Well,” I snapped, “it certainly won’t be me getting hurt.”  
The hurt in the captain’s eyes softened my anger a bit as he turned and walked out of the room. Before he left and sighed and looked at me, “Guess we’ve got it sorted out then. I won’t bother you anymore. You can go back to your book.”  
It took all of thirty seconds after Steve left the room for my anger to dissipate and I rushed out of my room after Steve. I grabbed him around the waist and held him with my chest to his back. “Please, don’t leave me, too.”  
Steve turned in my arms and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m not leaving, Loki. I’m just going to the kitchen.”  
I shook my head as I buried my face in his neck. “That’s not what I mean. What I mean is don’t give up on me just yet. I know I’m difficult, but please, don’t leave me.”  
He kissed the top of my head and gently stroked my back. “I’m not leaving you, Loki. I’m just frustrated. It seems like with every step forward I take, you take two steps back. It’s... confusing.”  
“I am a confusing creature. I do not deserve any of your affection.”  
“Well, that’s too bad. I find you are very deserving of affection. I think you have lacked affection in your life that when someone wants to give you it you try to hide away and sabotage it.”  
I nodded and pulled away to look up into the captain’s stunningly blue eyes. “Perhaps now we should talk. While I am still in the mood to listen.”  
Steve smiled, “Come on, something tells me you’d be more willing to talk if you have food in front of you.”  
Right on cue, Loki’s stomach growled and Steve laughed. “I guess I could have some food.”  
“Great, how does a grilled cheese sandwich sound?”  
I gave a small smile, “Don’t forget the tomato soup.”  
Steve chuckled, “What would grilled cheese be without tomato soup?”  
We went to the kitchen and Steve got to work making the grilled cheese while I got things ready for the tomato soup. It didn’t take long for the food to be cooked and placed on plates and in bowls.  
We ate in silence for a while, taking comfort in each other’s presence before the inevitable conversation they were going to have. Neither of us wanted to break the silence, neither wanted to start the conversation, and for once I had no words for any of it.  
Once Steve had finished his grilled cheese and soup he looked up at me, “So…”  
I nodded and looked at my bowl of soup, suddenly more interested in the ridges of the bowl, “Yeah, so…”  
The captain looked extremely uncomfortable and like this was the last place he would like to be right now. Which it probably was. “Um, about this morning, I really am sorry for my reaction. I just… It’s confusing for me at times. I get I’m in a different time where it’s acceptable, but back when I was growing up it wasn’t. Sure, stuff like that happened all the time, but I was raised to be respectful of a woman. If she was getting undressed you turned away, giving her privacy to do so. You never watched.”  
I nodded as I stirred my soup with my spoon, “I get that, Captain, I do. I know it may not seem like it from my reactions, but it’s because it frustrates me. You say you don’t want to look out of respect for me, but in a situation like that I want you to look.”  
“I know, Loki, and I promise I’ll try but it’s not going to change overnight.”  
I nodded, “I get that.”  
The blond sighed in relief before continuing on, “On top of that, what you did this morning was completely uncalled for and made the whole situation worse.”  
I looked up at him, anger flaring up as I got defensive, “Excuse me?”  
Seeing that his words had angered me, he quickly tried to sooth my anger, “What I mean is, I don’t care if you are going to be a woman around others or if you want to prove you can do it, I do care if you do it while being half naked. You don’t understand how that made me feel, seeing Tony staring at you the way he was. He’s my friend and I wanted to tear his head off because he was looking at you like that.”  
My anger softened as he spoke and eventually is had dissipated altogether. I didn’t know that’s how he felt. “I was unaware that was how you felt.”  
Steve shrugged, “I wasn’t necessarily going to say anything about it in front of Tony.”  
I nodded, maybe I did overreact just a bit. Maybe I was-no, I am not wrong. I was just unaware of other factors of the situation. I was unaware that the captain would simply be upset that someone else looked at my naked chest. “I will take that into consideration next time.”  
“I don’t want to have it just taken under consideration, Loki. If we can make any of this work, whatever this is, we both have to respect each other. And showing off your breasts the way you did this morning is not respecting me.”  
I nodded again, “I agree. So, let us make a deal then, shall we?”  
Steve looked at me with a bit of apprehension. “What deal?”  
I smiled mischievously, “I promise not to expose myself in anyway to anyone but you, if you promise to look at me, touch me, when I want you to whether I’m male or female.”  
Relief was clear in those gorgeous blue eyes of his, “I can’t promise that I’ll be able to do that, but I promise I’ll work on it.”  
“That’s all we can ask for, isn’t it?”  
He nodded and smiled at me. “So, are we okay?”  
I hummed, “I believe we are. If you don’t mind me asking, however, what are we to each other?”  
The captain pondered that thought for a moment before saying, “Well, I would like to consider us lovers, but is that what you want it to be?”  
I tried not to show my relief that the words brought me but I couldn’t help but smile, “Yes, that is indeed what I want us to be.”  
Steve smiled, “Then I guess that’s what we are.”  
I smiled at the captain almost shyly before getting up and going over to the captain to sit in his lap. I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to his in a kiss. When I pulled away and whispered, “Why not take me to the bedroom so you can fuck me.”  
Unexpectedly, Steve slapped my ass and smirked up at me, “Language.”  
I bit my lip. “Mmm, then what would you call it, lover?”  
“I’d call it,” Steve said as he began to kiss my neck, “making love.”  
I shivered, “Then make love to me, Darling, please?”  
Swiftly and in one singular movement the captain stood up with me still in his arms before walking down the hall to my bedroom. He kicked the door closed with his foot before walking over to the bed and gently put me down on it. He smiled as he crawled onto the bed, hovering over me and giving me a kiss.  
I looked up at him after he broke the kiss and whispered, “Do you want me to change?”  
He shook his head, “No, I want you how you are, Kitten.”  
I raised an eyebrow at the name, “Kitten?”  
Steve smiled, “Yes, Kitten. You remind me very much like a cat.”  
Before I could say anything else he kissed me again, forcing my lips open so he could slip his tongue inside my mouth. Steve’s hand slid up under my black tee shirt and over my stomach. I shivered and arched up into his touch as he began trailing kisses down my throat. He pressed his hips against mine and I could feel his cock against my thigh while mine rubbed against him. I moaned softly and moved my hips, trying to get more of that delicious friction.  
Steve pulled away only long enough to remove my shirt from my body before starting his kisses back up, only this time on my chest. His lips felt good on my body, each kiss felt like it was searing my skin and slowly being absorbed into my soul. I ran my fingers through his blond hair and gently tugged before both my arms were suddenly pinned above my head against the bed as blue eyes looked into my green ones.  
He smiled, “No touching. Let me do that.”  
I bit my lip and nodded. He kissed my lips gently before letting go of my hands and slowly trailed his hands down my body to the top of my pants and over my clothes erection. My hips bucked up and it took all my willpower to keep my hands above my head when I so desperately wanted to grab onto his muscular arms. He began to rub me through the fabric of my pants before stopping altogether. I groaned and arched my back trying to get the contact back again.  
Lips encircled my left nipple as a hand was pushing my pants down to free my cock. I moaned and moved my hands to hold the beautiful blond head against me. All touch left and my hands were above my head again. I groaned and looked up at the man before me.  
“I said no touching. That’s my job.”  
I groaned and shook my head, “I want to touch you, though.”  
He smiled, “Soon, Kitten. For now, let me make up for all those other times when I wouldn’t look or touch. I want to slowly make you come apart. Soon you will be able to touch as well. But for now, no touching. Move again and I will be forced to bind those wonderful hands of yours so you can’t.”  
I bit my lip and nodded my understanding. This was a completely new side to the super soldier that I couldn’t wait to see more of. “Can you at least take your shirt off, love? It seems only fair.”  
He laughed softly before pulling his blue shirt up over his head and tossed it to the floor. “Better?” he asked before placing a gentle kiss on my chest.  
I nodded and closed my eyes, “Much.”  
“Look at me,” he whispered against my skin.  
I opened my eyes again and looked down at him. He licked my nippled before placing his lips over it again as his hand went back to my now exposed cock. I moaned, wanting more but no words would escape my lips as he slowly took me apart. His hand started moving over my member, stroking it as he moved to my other nipple giving it the same attention as the other.  
My breath was coming quickly now as the captain stroked me faster and I could feel my orgasm coming. I was just on the brink of orgasm when all touch left again. I groaned in frustration as Steve got up off the bed and looked down at me. He ran his hands down from my chest, over my stomach, down to my hips where he stopped to yank off my pants. Completely naked now, I was exposed to him. His eyes trailed along my body and I began to squirm, wanting some form of relief.  
Steve smiled at me before he stripped off the rest of his clothes and climbed back over me. He kissed my lips gently before whispering, “Tell me if you want to stop or if I hurt you too much.”  
I nodded and tried to kiss him again but he pulled away and smiled down at me. Even in my pleasure filled haze I manage to whisper out, “Lube. T-top draw.”  
Realizing what I was trying to tell him, he quickly got off me again and went to get the lube out of my top dresser drawer. Once he had what he was looking for he climbed back into bed and poured the liquid into his hand coating his fingers. I spread my legs and pulled them up, exposing myself completely to him.  
My lover bit his bottom lip before he gently stroked my inner thigh. He ran his fingers down my thigh before moving them to my puckered anus. I gasped and bit my lip as I waited for him to stretch me open for him. Slowly, he began to press one finger into me, the lube helping to ease the finger in.  
I moaned and arched my back, wanting more, needing more and he hadn’t even hit my prostate or even put his wonderful cock into me. He added another finger not long after and I flinched just a bit. It didn’t hurt exactly, it was a weird stretching feeling one I hadn’t felt in a long time. Soon three fingers were sliding in and out of me, stretching me out and I was a whimpering mess.  
Finally, I gasped out, “I’m ready. Please, love, I need more.”  
Understanding my need, Steve moved to hover above me and kissed me. He put more lube into his hand and slicked up his cock before guiding himself to my stretched hole and slowly pushed in. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to breath through the pain. It was bearable, and the lube helped to ease it a bit but not enough.  
“Are you okay? Am I hurting you?” Of course the captain would be concerned about me which just made me want him more.  
I opened my eyes and said, “I am fine. Don’t you dare stop.”  
Steve nodded and gently kissed me as he eased more of his cock into me. “Wouldn’t dream of it. God, you feel amazing.”  
Once he was fully in me, he stopped and waited for me to let him know it was good. I nodded and he slowly began to pull out before thrusting back in. For awhile it was deep and slow thrusts, trying to find the one place that would shatter the world around me. Finally, he found my prostate and I moaned loudly arching my back.  
After that the thrusts became fast and shallow, making sure to hit the gland over and over. I reached up and pulled him into a kiss, my tongue entering his mouth and dancing with his. His hand moved between our moving bodies to grasp my cock and began to stroke it to his thrusts. Together we moved, both looking for our release that was quickly coming. It wasn’t much longer before I felt it, my body shuddered and I came, seman coating both mine and Steve’s chest as it pumped out of my cock. A couple thrusts later and Steve was pumping his seed inside me.  
Once our orgasms subsided, Steve pulled out and laid down beside me, kissing my shoulder.  
I looked over at him and smiled, “That was wonderful.”  
He chuckled, “It was indeed.” He looked at me and his eyes narrowed, “You aren’t going to start yelling at me now are you?”  
I laughed and shook my head, “Even if I wanted to, you have thoroughly worn me out, love. I think I will just sleep.”  
My love nodded and yawned, “Yeah, a nap sounds good right about now.”  
“Mmm, especially because you didn’t sleep much last night.”  
“Yeah.”  
I rolled onto my side and rested my head on his chest. I closed my eyes before saying, “Steve?”  
“Mhm,” he hummed sleepily.  
“Welcome home.”  
“It’s good to be home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you have never heard the song "It's Just Me" by Escape the Fate, I recommenced you listen to it. I wrote this chapter listening to that song because it reminds me of Loki. That's probably because I read a lot of Stoki fanfic while that song was playing but anyways. I've also made a music video for that song with Loki clips so check that out if you want. It's called "It's Just Loki."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Steve Volunteer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I kept having to rewrite one conversation because I either kept losing what I had or I didn't like how it sounded.

Steve woke up and the room was completely shrouded in darkness. Loki was still curled up against him, with his head resting on the captain’s chest. He smiled and gently ran his hands through the black hair.  
Lovers.  
That’s what they were.  
That’s what they had agreed upon.  
Steve’s heart felt lighter than it was when he first woke up that morning. He was happy. Who would have ever thought that the god in his arms would make him happy. The god who tried to take over and destroy his world made him happy.  
He kissed the top of the sleeping god’s head as he gently rubbed the fallen prince’s back.  
A few moments later the god was rubbing his eyes before blinking up at the blond sleepily. “Mornin’.”  
Steve smiled. “Morning, love. Sleep well?”  
He nodded before closing his eyes again. “I did, but I think I will sleep some more if that is okay with you, my darling Captain.”  
“Of course, Kitten. Do you mind if I get up to go for a run.”  
Loki hummed before opening his eyes a bit and looking at the captain. “That would require you to get up and me to move, yes?”  
He chuckled, “Just a bit, yes.”  
The prince groaned and closed his eyes yet again. “Then yes, I do mind. I am quite comfortable like this and do not wish to move. You make a very comfy pillow.”  
Steve chuckled and kissed the god’s head again. “Alright, then I won’t go for a run.”  
“Mmm, maybe later, love. For now, let us sleep.”  
It didn’t take long before Loki was asleep again, soft snores coming from him every once in awhile. Steve laid there listening to the god breathe as he rubbed his back. He was happy. He would be happy if he never had to get up again.  
Unfortunately, life had a bad habit of getting in the way.  
Steve’s phone starting ringing from beside the bed where it laid on the floor still in his pants pocket from earlier. He didn’t want to disturb the god, but he needed to answer his phone. Loki groaned in protest as he was disturbed as the captain grabbed his phone.  
It was Tony.  
Steve sighed and answered his phone, “What, Tony?”  
“Well someone is grumpy this morning. Did Reindeer Games not come back last night?”  
Shit. That’s right, he was supposed to let Tony know about that. Steve rubbed his hand over his face as he responded, “Yes, he did. Sorry. We got caught up last night after he came back.”  
“Did you two kiss and makeup?”  
“Is there a reason you were calling me, Tony?”  
“Yes, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. When you never called me to let me know he was back I was beginning to worry about whether or not we were gonna have to deal with another alien invasion. I don’t feel like sending another nuclear bomb into a giant wormhole in the sky again.”  
“Yes, well-”  
Steve was cut off as the phone was taken from his grasp and Loki put the phone to his ear. “Look, Stark, I am home. I am also sleeping and you woke me up. Now, considering we had a good time the other night I will overlook this slight inconvenience if you would shut up. Now I am going back to bed and Steve is going with me. Goodnight.”  
Without waiting for a response, Loki hung up the phone and laid back down pulling the captain with him. Steve chuckled as Loki got himself comfortable again.  
“What?” Loki asked, his green eyes looking up at him.  
“You’re just so demanding.”  
“Well of course I am. I am a god and a prince.” Loki rolled his eyes before resting his head down again on the captain’s chest. “Besides, he woke me up.”  
Steve chuckled again, “I’m beginning to learn you don’t like being woken up.”  
Loki nodded, “Why would anyone like being woken up?”  
Steve couldn’t argue that. Though he didn’t require a lot of sleep due to the serum he still did like to sleep and wasn’t always pleased when he was woken up for trivial things.  
Loki looked up at the captain and gave a small smile, “Thank you, Darling.”  
“For what?” Steve asked a bit confused.  
“For staying. For understanding I am a difficult being. For not giving up on me.”  
Steve smiled before giving Loki a gentle kiss full of emotions he didn’t have the words to express. “You aren’t as difficult as I originally thought. All you need is to be shown someone cares and wants you.”  
Loki nodded and started drawing circles on the captain’s chest. “How is it you are one of the first people to figure that out?”  
Steve shrugged, “Maybe because I actually pay attention and listen to what you have to say.”  
“To everyone else I am just the trickster, the liesmith, silvertongue, but to you I am just...Loki. I tried to take over your world, yet here we lay together and you understand me.”  
“Not fully, but I am trying though.”  
“You’re the first to try.”  
The fallen prince yawned and Steve smiled as he rubbed his back soothingly. “Go to sleep, Kitten. You’ve got a long day ahead of you.”  
Loki groaned, “I start volunteering today, don’t I?”  
“You do. But if you behave yourself I’ve got a surprise for you.”  
Loki looked up at him, “Oh, what’s the surprise?”  
Steve chuckled, “Now if I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise.”  
“I’ll still act surprised. You may not know this about me but I am a very good actor.”  
“You’ll just have to wait and see, Kitten. Now go to sleep.”  
Loki sighed and rested his head on the captain’s chest before falling asleep. Steve stayed awake and just listened to the god sleep. Slowly the sun started to peek through the widow of the bedroom and Loki groaned as he pulled the blankets up over his head.  
The captain chuckled and gently pulled at the blanket. “I think it’s time to wake up, Loki.”  
Silvertongue groaned again and shook his head, “No. I think it’s time to sleep.”  
Steve pulled the blanket off the sleeping god’s face and kissed his cheek. “Come on, Kitten. We need to get up and get ready.”  
“Whoever invented mornings needs to be destroyed.” Loki sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes.  
Steve got up out of bed and pulled on his boxers. He smiled at the dark haired man whose hair was messed up and still looked tired. “I’m gonna go start breakfast, any requests?”  
Loki looked at the captain and smirked, “I’m going to guess you aren’t on the menu?”  
The blond shook his head and chuckled, “Not this morning, Kitten. Maybe later tonight if you behave.”  
Green eyes roll as Loki stands up, “You are really trying to bribe me into behaving myself.”  
“You could say that.”  
“Well, Darling, I promise I will be on my best behavior today.”  
“Good, then you just might get your surprise and sex after all.”  
“Oh? So you mean sex isn’t the surprise?”  
Steve shook his head, “Not even close, Kitten. Now get dressed and meet me out in the kitchen.”  
He left the room after his lover nodded and went to the kitchen to start cooking breakfast. He got the pancake mixture out and started mixing the water and blueberries into the mix. He was just getting done with the first couple pancakes when Loki finally joined him in the kitchen.  
When he turned around he saw Loki standing there in blue jeans and a forest green shirt that clung to her body. Her long black hair was pulled up into a ponytail and out of her face. She looked gorgeous.  
She smiled shyly at him and bit her lower lip, “So? What do you think?”  
Steve smiled, “You look absolutely beautiful.”  
She giggled, “I figured to just go simple as my clothes will probably get messy. That and I wouldn’t stand out.”  
“You will always stand out, Loki, no matter how you dress.”  
She rolled her eyes and sat down at the table. “Breakfast smells delicious.”  
Steve went back to the pancakes and nodded, “You aren’t going to fight me on the food this morning?”  
“Of course I will. Just because it smells good doesn’t mean it’s good. I can’t make everything easy on you, Darling.”  
“Of course not. That would just be too easy.”  
She hummed as she watched her lover cook. He still only wore boxers and she loved the view. Loved watching as he moved expertly around the kitchen, his muscles moving under his skin with every movement.  
Steve put the finished pancakes on a plate and took it over to Loki with syrup and butter. He put the plate down in front of her and smiled, “Here you go.”  
She looked at the food on her plate, “What is it?”  
“Pancakes,” came his reply. Steve made another couple pancakes for himself before going and sitting down at the table, putting butter and a little bit of syrup on top of the pancakes.  
Loki watches as Steve pours the syrup onto the food before looking down at her own plate. “So, you just put butter and some sticky substance onto it?”  
“Mhm,” Steve nodded as he finished chewing the food in his mouth. “That’s what I do. Not everyone does. Sometimes I even like to put whipped cream on it.”  
Loki nodded before putting a little bit of butter and syrup on her pancakes and cutting a slice with her fork before taking a bite. She shrugged. “It’s a bit...dry.”  
“Try putting some more syrup on it,” Steve replied as he continued to eat his pancakes.  
The goddess did as she was told and put more syrup on it before taking another bite. This time it was much better. “They’re not that bad.”  
Steve nodded as he continued to eat his food, smiling a bit. “Maybe next time I’ll put blueberries or chocolate chips in it.”  
She looked up at him, “That sounds good. Why didn’t you do that this time?”  
He shrugged, “Figured we start off with the basics to see if you liked it or not.”  
The goddess nodded and continued to eat. The rest of breakfast went by in comfortable silence before Steve got up to get dressed. He put on a pair of blue jeans and a black shirt that accentuated the muscles in his arms. He slipped on his shoes before returning to the living room where the goddess stood waiting for him.  
“You look good, Captain,” Loki said as she looked at the super soldier and bit her bottom lip.  
Steve blushed and walked over to her, giving her a light kiss on the lips. “Yeah, well, you look breath taking.”  
The goddess smiled, “I believe you already said that.”  
The captain nodded, “Yeah, well I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew that.”  
“Of course I do, Darling, you don’t need to tell me when it is clearly written on your face whenever you look at me.”  
Steve nodded, “Come on, let’s go. Don’t want to be late.”  
She sighed and nodded as she followed the captain out the door.

 

When they got to the sight everyone was already gathered to get their assignments of the day. The captain walked over to the group to find out what to do. Everyone looked at the new comers curiously. They already knew the captain as he had volunteered there before, but the new woman standing with him interested them.  
Casey turned to them and forced a smile. “Hello, Steve. Thank you for coming today, I see you bring someone new with you. Why don’t you introduce your friend there.”  
Loki smiled pleasantly and introduced herself. “Hello, everyone,” her accent was a bit thicker than normal as she spoke. “I am Lady Ariana, but you may call me Ariana.”  
There were variations of welcome as they greeted the heiress.  
After everyone got their assignments and separated into groups, Casey called them over to speak with her.  
She looked at the dark princess, “I’m assuming you're Loki?”  
Loki nodded, “Indeed, but I would prefer you to call me Ariana in public. No need to let the secret out.”  
“Alright, Ariana, I’ve got a few simple rules you need to follow if you want to stay here.”  
“And I am willing to follow any within reason.”  
“No, you will follow to the T or you will leave. Do you understand?”  
Loki gritted her teeth, anger was beginning to rise up in her. Sensing this, Steve spoke up, “What Ariana means is that she’ll follow the rules to the best of her ability as long as it doesn’t prevent her from doing what she has to to get the job done. But I don’t think you need to worry about her, Casey. Ariana and I discussed a few rules and she understands them.”  
“I don’t care what you two discussed, I care about my people and protecting them. Many people died because of her. Many people lost their homes, their lives, their families, everything because she decided we were lesser than her. The city was destroyed by her army that she brought here from space. She may not have took their lives herself, but she orchestrated it all.”  
“You don’t think that I don’t know that?” Loki held up a hand to stop Steve from saying anything and continued on, “I know how many died. I know how many were injured. I know how many lost their homes. I know about it al. With every death, with every injured person, with every life destroyed because of me, the deeper I sank into insanity because none of it I wanted. I was just a puppet in a much bigger plan. They used everything they could to make sure I would not fail them, yet I did everything I could to let the Avengers win. I wanted to go home. Your planet, your city was a means to an end. I wanted what everyone here wants. Their life back. That’s why I am here. To do everything in my power to fix my mistakes.”  
“You’ll never bring back those who lost their lives because of you.”  
“No, but I can do something to remember them by.”  
The captain turned to Loki at that, “What are you talking about?”  
Loki shrugs, “I guess you’ll just have to trust me on that one, Captain.”  
“I wouldn’t trust you with a dead fish,” Casey said.  
The captain scowled at her. “She’s trying to help. At least give her a chance.”  
Casey sighed, “Fine. You have until the end of the day to prove yourself or else I won’t allow you back.”  
“Fine,” Loki sneered before walking away to go start her jobs.  
Steve stayed close beside her, watching her work just incase she needed help, or she needed to be stopped. Steve wasn’t sure which one would come first.

 

The answer came not long before lunch started.  
Loki was helping one of the other guys, Roger, help carry a large piece of a broken outer wall over to the truck when a man stopped her. He was a tall man about six feet with medium build and tan skin. His hair was covered by a hard hat but you could see his brown shaggy hair underneath it. He smiled a cocky smile as he rested a hand on Loki’s lower back, bringing her to a halt.  
“Hey, sweetheart, now why don’t ya let me take care of that. You can maybe go over there and clean up the street a bit,” he said in a thick southern accent.  
Loki grunted a bit at the sudden stop but shook her head as she tried to walk around him. “I’ve got this. Now if you would move that would be a great bit of help.”  
The man smiled as he tried to take her spot a bit roughly, “Now c’mon, sweetheart, let us men handle this before ya break a nail.”  
“Excuse me, but I am doing just fine without your help. Now please, bugger off so I can finish moving this.” Loki was getting frustrated and was about to use magic to get this guy to stop pushing her.  
“Now, that ain’t no way for a lady like you to talk. Let us men handle this and everythin’ shall be just fine.”  
Loki smirked as she took a step back but didn’t let go of the frame, “Alright, if you insist.” She suddenly let go of the frame and the guy didn’t catch it in time before it landed hard on his toes.  
He howled in pain before stumbling back and falling down, “You bitch!”  
Loki smiled innocently, “Oops, sorry. I thought you had it, you big tough man.”  
He growled up at her as he stood up and grabbing her by her upper arm roughly. “Now, you listen here you little bitch-”  
“Is there a problem here?” Steve said as he walked over accessing the situation.  
Loki flinched as the guy’s grip got tighter. She smiled at the captain before saying, “He said he had the frame and said I could let go and so I did. It’s not my fault he overestimated his own strength.”  
The guy growled as he looked at the captain. “She’s a lil liar. She purposely let go of the frame knowing I didn’t have it so that they landed on my toes.”  
Steve raised an eyebrow and looked back and forth between the two. “Ariana, did you know he didn’t have a hold on it?”  
She tried to shake the guy off her arm but his grip remained tight, “No, I didn’t. He told me to go clean the sidewalk and to let the men handle the job and so I went to do as he said. He’s the one that said he could handle it. Should have let the woman do the man’s job, huh.”  
Steve looked at Roger and asked, “What do you have to say about all this?”  
Roger looked between Loki and the guy. “Well, Oscar was hounding her to let go of the frame. She only did as he asked, but she didn’t make sure that he had ahold of it before letting it go.”  
Steve nodded. “Thanks. Now, Oscar, is it?”  
The man nodded, “Yes.”  
“Why don’t you let go of Ariana and we just get back to doing our jobs?”  
Oscar shook his head, “Afraid not, Captain. As one of the group leaders I got to report her to Casey.”  
The captain scowled, “You really want to do that?”  
“I do.”  
“If you take her to Casey to report her for dropping the frame on your toes, I’ll be sure to inform Casey that she only did so because you were harassing her and preventing her from doing her job. Are we clear?”  
Oscar scowled, “Are ya threatenin’ me?”  
“No, I’m promising you that I will tell Casey.”  
Oscar growled before shoving Loki away from him making her almost fall to the ground but that captain caught her. “Whatever, the bitch ain’t worth my time anyways.”  
Oscar stomped away as Steve checked Loki over making sure she was okay. “Did he hurt you?”  
She shrugged, “He gripped my arm pretty tightly, but other than that I think I’m fine.”  
Steve nodded, “Did you really drop that frame on purpose?”  
“Yes,” Loki confessed, “but only because he was telling me that I should let him take over so I don’t break a nail.”  
“That’s not how we resolve things, Kitten. He could have gotten you in trouble.”  
“Yes, well, you got me out of trouble so I think it turned out fine in the end.”  
Steve smiled and shook his head, “You are unbelievable, you know that?”  
“I do.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has some trouble volunteering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Slight depiction of sexual harassment.

I was on a break getting water from the water station that was set up near our location when Oscar came by. He looked at me, his green eyes looking me up and down as he leaned up against the watercooler.  
I scoffed and turned away, refusing to even acknowledge his existence.  
As I was walking away he grabbed me by my upper arm where a bruise was likely forming from earlier. I whirled around and glared at him, my own green eyes glowing with power and anger. “Touch me again and I will cut your hand off before shoving it down your throat, you insulate mortal.”  
He chuckled as if I had made a joke. “Oh, c’mon, sweetheart. I just came over to apologize for my behavior earlier. I meant no harm.”  
“I do not care what your intentions were earlier. Touch me again and you will lose your hand.”  
One of the girls that was nearby came over to see what was going on. I didn’t know her name but she had blond hair and green eyes. She looked nice as she smiled at the both of us. “Something wrong?”  
I smiled at her, “Of course not, dear. I was just explaining to Oscar here that woman can do anything a man can do. Isn’t that right, sweetheart.”  
I could see Oscar grit his teeth before smiling at her, “That’s right, and I was just apologizing for assuming otherwise.”  
The blond smiled before linking arms with me. “Well, if that’s all, I’m going to take her away. I need help with something, if you don’t mind that is.”  
I smiled and nodded, “Of course, dear. Please, lead the way.”  
I followed her before giving a teasing wave to Oscar before flipping him off. I looked at the blond who had a worried expression on her face. “You really ought not to anger him. He can be...mean.”  
I rolled my eyes, “Mean is an understatement. My arm will be bruised for the next week or so.”  
She looked at me with concern. “What do you mean?”  
I rolled up my sleeve showing her the hand print left on my upper arm. “That’s apparently what happens when you drop a frame on his toes.”  
“Oh, no. I am so sorry. I wish we could do something, but every time one of us tries to tell Casey what’s going on, he threatens to destroy our lives even more.”  
I looked at her, this time with my own concern. “You mean there’s more of you?”  
She nodded, “Yeah. All of us girls got so scared of him that we asked Casey if we could be our own group so as to stay far away from him. Of course she don’t know it’s because of him.”  
“Why hasn’t anyone said anything?” I asked.  
She looked down, “He threatened us. I have a little boy, you see, he’s the only thing I have left after the battle. Oscar knows this, somehow he always knows, and he threatened to hurt my little boy if I told anyone. All of us have similar threats against us.”  
I shook my head, “Dear, you’ve got to stand up for yourself. If not for yourself then for your little boy.”  
“I know I should, but he knows where I live, where Mikey goes to school, everything. He knows where I worked and got me fired from there. Now he shows up at the new place I work. He’s like this with all the girls. To make sure we know he’s watching.”  
I gritted my teeth, “I’ll make sure he leaves all you alone.”  
“Please, don’t do anything. He’ll know we told you.”  
“I promise, he won’t know anything.”  
“I can’t lose my boy, I just can’t.”  
I smiled at her calmly, “I promise, I will do everything in my power to make sure your boy never gets hurt.”  
Before she could reply, the captain was jogging over to me. “Ariana, what are you doing?”  
I smiled at him, “I was just talking to…” I looked at her, “I’m sorry, I appear to not have gotten your name.”  
“Oh, it’s Natalie,” she smiled shyly at the captain.  
“Natalie. Beautiful name. Anyways, Captain, I was just talking with Natalie here about her little boy, Mikey.”  
The captain smiled, “Really? How old is he?”  
Natalie smiled, “Five. He just started kindergarden this year.”  
“How does he like it?” I asked.  
“Oh he loves it. He’s made a lot of friends and he loves the library they have there.”  
Loki smiled, “He likes to read?”  
Natalie nodded, “Yeah. He’s really smart and is already reading chapter books.” Natalie sounded like a proud mother as she talked about Mikey. Listening to her talk about her son made me long for my own children but I shook my head, instead putting those feelings aside for later.  
“Ariana loves to read, too.” The captain’s voice startled me back to reality as he looked at me lovingly. “I was with her the other day as she was buying new books and she had five stacks of books surrounding her.”  
I blushed, “He’s exaggerating. It was only four stacks.”  
Natalie and the captain laughed as another woman came up to us. “Hey, Nat, we could really use your help over here.”  
Natalie looked at her and nodded, “Sure thing, Melissa. I’ll be right there.”  
Natalite promised to talk later before taking off to help the other women with their project. I looked at the captain and bit my lip. “How much trouble would I be in if I used magic on someone who deserves it.”  
He looked at me confused. “Um, I don’t know. Depends on what you did and what they did to deserve it.”  
I shrugged, “I can’t say anything about it yet, but I need you to trust me that they really do deserve it.”  
“Why can’t you tell me?”  
“Steve,” I looked at the blond trying to convey to him that I needed him to trust me, “I don’t have all the details yet, and I don’t want to say anything with all the things at stake.”  
His blue eyes searched my green ones for any lies before nodding. “Alright. For now I’ll back your play, but the moment this gets too far I’ll have to stop it.”  
I nodded, “I can always count on you to ruin the fun.”  
He laughed, “More like protect the peace.”  
“That’s what I’m trying to do, Darling. Now if you will excuse me, I have some projects I need to get done.”  
Without waiting for his reply I walked aways, making sure to sway my hips a bit more knowing he was watching me.

 

The day continued on the way I knew it would. I was helping clean up the street and Oscar stood close by, always watching me. Whenever there was a job that needed more than one person he would always insist on helping me lift things, always brushing his hand against mine.   
It all just first started out with innocent touches. Accidentally grabbing my hand pretending like he was reaching for the same thing. Then it went to grabbing my ass when no one was looking, then pretending like he never did it. It wasn’t until the end of the day and I was talking to Roger that he came over and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.  
“Isn’t this woman great, Roger? She’s sweet, beautiful, and a hard worker. Who knew a woman could be like that.”  
Roger smiled at me, believing the words to be a compliment to me, “Yeah. She’s been a real big help today. I hope you’re planning on coming back.”  
I shrugged, “Maybe. All depends on the captain if he wants to come back.”  
“You and Steve seem to be close. He’s always watching you and staying close by,” Roger asked as he looked at the captain who wasn’t far off talking to Casey.  
I smiled, “He took me in after I arrived.”  
“Well that was awfully nice of him,” Oscar smirked at me.  
I rolled my eyes at his comment. “Yes, well, the captain is a very good man.”  
“He sure is. Well, if you would excuse me, my wife is here to pick me up.” Roger said his goodbye before leaving for the day.  
I waved goodbye and went to pull away when I felt Oscar’s hand grab my breast and ran his thumb over where my nipple was under my bra. I turned and slapped him across the face. Oscar put a hand to his cheek as he looked around to see if anyone saw. Unfortunately for me, no one did. He grabbed me by my arm before dragging me into a opening between two buildings where he shoved me against the wall.  
“Someone needs to teach you manners,” the brute growled as he pinned me against the wall with his body and shoved a hand up my shirt and under my bra, roughly grabbing my breast.  
I tried to shove him away, but he was surprisingly strong for a midgardian. It was when I felt his mouth on my neck and his fingers pinched my nipple that I summoned all the power I could and blasted my magic at him. He flew backwards and hit the other wall, his head smacking against the bricks.  
I stood at my full height and glared down at him, “I told you never to touch me again. You are lucky that your hand still remains attached to your body.”  
I could hear feet running towards up and sagged against the other wall in relief when I saw the captain round the corner. He was quickly followed by Casey and they both stopped to take in the situation. Seeing me, the captain ran over to me and pulled me into his arms.  
“What happened here?” Casey demanded as she looked from me to Oscar.  
Oscar growled as he stood up slowly, “She attacked me! I was just talking to her and she all of a sudden attacked me.”  
I shook my head, “Liar! He has been harassing me all day, and when no one was looking he would touch me. He was trying to rape me!”  
Casey looked between us and shook her head, “Do you have any proof, any witnesses?”  
My jaw clenched as I glared at her. She didn’t believe me. “No, I do not.”  
“Then my hands are tied.”  
Steve looked at her in astonishment. “What do you mean your hands are tied. He clearly had intentions of harming her.”  
“She has no witnesses, no proof. Honestly, that wouldn’t even get her far in court. And that’s if anyone actually believed her.”  
Oscar smirked at me, knowing he had me. “She’s just lying to get attention.”  
“Excuse me?” A small voice came from behind Casey.  
She turned to look at Natalie who had just appeared from the street. “What is it, Natalie?” Casey asked.  
Natalie was rubbing her hands together nervously as she spoke up, “Ariana isn’t lying. I saw everything. And even if I didn’t I know Oscar did everything Ariana has said he did.”  
“Natalie, don’t,” I protested. I knew this was a big step for her, but she had a little boy at stake that she couldn’t lose.  
She shook her head and continued on. “I know he did because he has done it to me as well as all the other girls in my group. It’s why we made our own group.”  
“She’s lying!” Oscar yelled, as other girls stepped forward all verifying my story.  
Casey looked from me to the girls to Oscar and back. Sighing she looked at the captain, “Unfortunately the only thing I can do is ban him from volunteering here. The rest is up to you guys as to whether or not you want to press charges.”  
I looked at Steve, who clearly was pissed off. “Can I please, Captain?”  
He looked at me and knew what I was asking. He breathed out slowly through his nose before shaking his head. “No, Ariana. We don’t hurt people, no matter how much they deserve it.”  
“Then can I at least give a demonstration? I promise he won’t be left in any severe damage.”  
The captain looked weary at my words but didn’t stop me as I stepped forward. I looked at Oscar as I gathered all my magic in me. “You even think about doing any harm to these girls ever again, you will deal with me and the captain won’t be able to stop me. You think the worse I can do is throw you off me, but I am much stronger than I look.” As I spoke, the wind picked up blowing my hair around me. Without even touching him, I set my magic at him for a second time and he slammed into the wall, his whole body crashing through the brick and into the building behind it. He laid crumpled on the floor as I walked to stand over him. “This is my last warning. Next time I will have you dismembered and buried beneath the earth like the piece of scum you are.”  
“Ariana,” the captain said in his captain’s voice, “that’s enough.”  
I turned to look at him, my eyes glowing, “No, it’s not enough, Captain, it’ll never be enough. However, you are right. It is enough...for now.”  
I waited until Oscar got up and left before waving my hand at the crumpled wall, repairing it making it appear as if nothing had occurred minutes before. I walked back over to the captain and slumped against him, “Take me home?”  
He nodded as he gently picked me up. Before we left though, Casey stopped us. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for her to return, Steve.”  
He glared at her, “And why is that?”  
“Because she terrorized my group. I’m sorry, but she’s no longer welcome here.”  
Before the super soldier could answer I cut him off, “It is alright, I wasn’t planning on coming back. I just want to go home.”  
Steve nodded and walked away from Casey, not bothering to listen to her anymore.

 

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was curled up in my own bed and could smell food cooking in the kitchen. It was dark out by now and I sighed as I got up. My body hurt and didn’t want to move but I pushed through. I was still dressed in the same clothes I wore earlier in the day except for my shoes which Steve must have taken off before putting me to bed.  
I left my room and slowly went towards the kitchen where I could hear Steve moving about, cooking whatever it was he was cooking. The food smelled divine and my stomach rumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten much since breakfast.  
When I walked into the kitchen, Steve was facing away from me reading from a book as he measured ingredients before putting them in a bowl. I smiled as I walked him cook. He looked beautiful. When he finally looked up at me, he smiled and for once I could tell someone genuinely cared for me.  
“Good afternoon, sleepyhead.”  
I smiled and replied, “Good afternoon, Captain. What is it you are cooking for us tonight?”  
“I’m trying to recreate my mom’s sauce but I don’t have her recipes and it’s not like we cooked it a lot for me to know it by heart. It was only a special occasion that we would make this and so I can’t really remember all the spices she used-that’s if we even had them.”  
“Well, it certainly smells delicious.”  
“I’m glad you think so. I hope you and our guests like it.”  
I raised an eyebrow at him, “Guests?”  
He nodded, “Yeah. I mean, I hope you don’t mind. It was kind of your surprise but I can always cancel if you aren’t feeling up to it. I just thought that after today you’d want a bit of normalcy.”  
I smiled and walked over to the babbling man before pulling him into a hug. “I adore you, Steve Rogers.”  
He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. “I adore you, too, Loki. But can you be honest with me. How are you feeling?”  
I sighed and buried my face in his neck. “I feel dirty. Mind if I take a bath before dinner and our guests show up?”  
“Of course. I can understand why you’d want a bath.”  
I smiled and pulled away, seeing the worry in his blue eyes I said, “I am fine, Captain, you need not worry about me.”  
“Of course I’m worried about you. After what you went through today-”  
I shook my head, cutting him off. “Let’s discuss this later. Right now I just want a bath.”  
Steve nodded before turning back to dinner and continue to cook. “You’re right. This is a conversation we should have after you are clean and we aren’t expecting company.”  
“Exactly. Let us just enjoy tonight and discuss it tomorrow, shall we?”  
The captain looked at me and nodded. “Yeah. Now go take your bath. They should be here in an hour or so which is just long enough for me to finish cooking.”  
Without another word I let the room heading to the bathroom to take my bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give credit to two of my friends that helped me out with Oscar.  
> The name came from my awesome coworker Victoria who said "The name Oscar just sounds like a creepy guy name." Sorry to those of you that have the name or know someone with the name Oscar.  
> The description of him and his attitude was suggested by my awesome friend Techi who was very helpful and put up with all my questions.  
> For Oscar I wanted someone else's opinion as to what they thought someone would look like if they were Oscar. The naming was just because I couldn't come up with a name for him. So yeah, hope you enjoy the chapter. Next chapter will be a lot happier.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guests arrive. Loki is unaware of who is to come.

Steve was still fuming as he walked home with Loki in his arms. How could Casey do that? She made it out to be Loki’s fault, when all Loki did was defend herself and others. He wanted to turn back around and go talk to Casey and tell her that she was wrong, that Loki didn’t terrorize anyone, but one look at Loki’s sleeping face kept him from doing so.  
When he had seen Loki throw Oscar through the wall of the building, it almost would have frightened him if he didn’t know what she was capable of already. She looked powerful, like a true queen, as she stood over the man who had attacked her. She wasn’t threatening him for herself, she was threatening him for the other women, the ones who could really get hurt by him.  
The more Steve thought about everything, the more he realized he cared about the woman in his arms. She may be confusing and hard to understand, but she was strong, powerful, and truly amazing.  
By the time they reached the apartment, Steve wasn’t as angry. He managed to unlock the door without waking the goddess and took her to her room. He took her shoes off and pulled the covers up over her before leaving to go into the living room. It was still too early to start dinner, so he went and sat on the couch, grabbing his sketchbook and pencils off the table.  
Once comfortable, he started to draw. Lines slowly started to form as he sketched, slowly transforming into a sleeping Loki. To say he didn’t know what he was going to draw when he first sat down would be a lie. He could remember her, lying in bed sleeping the first night after they made love. She was at peace. The drawing showed Loki that night, sleeping. The sheets were pulled up just over her chest, showing only the tops of her breasts. One arm was curled up under the pillow her head rested upon. Her other arm was resting on her side, her hand on her hip. A strand of her hair was in her face, making her appearance less put together and more human.  
He gently ran the pencil along the paper, sketching her out the way he would gently ran his hands over her waist and stomach and hair. She was beautiful in the drawing, but not as beautiful as she was in person, he would never be able to capture her true beauty.  
Once the drawing was done, he set his sketchbook down on the coffee table and stood up. He decided to take a shower before he had to start dinner so he could be presentable for his guests. He went into the bathroom and started the shower before proceeding to strip out of his clothes from the day. Once he was undressed he stepped into the shower and under the steady stream of hot water.  
He let the water and soap wash away the dirt and sweat from the day before getting out of the shower and drying off. He got dressed before leaving the bathroom and decided to check on Loki as he passed her room. When he opened the door, she was still curled up asleep on the bed, the blankets kicked off her body exposing her to the room. He smiled softly to himself before closing the door once again and heading to the kitchen to start cooking.

Loki had just gone into the bathroom to take a bath when Steve’s phone started ringing. The captain stopped cooking and grabbed his phone seeing Tony’s name flash on the screen. He answered it.  
“Yeah, Tony?”  
“I got the information you wanted,” came Tony’s voice through the speaker accompanied by a guitar solo.  
“Great, email all that you got to me and I’ll check it out later tonight after Loki goes to sleep.”  
“Already done, el Capitan! Jarvis sent it to you the moment it was ready.”  
Bruce’s voice came through sounding a bit concerned, “Steve, I don’t know what you were expecting to find, but this...this is not something you are going to like.”  
Steve sighed and nodded even though he knew they couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I figured as much. After what happened...I wasn’t expecting anything I would like.”  
“If you don’t think you can handle it by yourself, you know Tony and I here for you to talk.”  
“Thanks, Bruce. I’ll keep that in mind. But I should probably go, Loki and I are having guests tonight.”  
Tony replied, “One more thing, Cap.”  
“What, Tony?”  
“Clint and Nat are coming back next week.”  
“Great, another thing to worry about.”  
“Have you figured out what you’re going to tell them?”  
Steve sighed and stirred the sauce to keep it from burning on the bottom of the pot. “No, I haven’t. I don’t know what to tell them.”  
“Well you have to tell them something. You know putting it off is only going to make things worse,” Bruce said, his voice kind and understanding.  
“I know, and I plan to tell them, I just don’t know how to yet.”  
“How about you tell them that you invited Reindeer Games to live with him and now you are fucking him?” Tony asked as he laughed.  
“I didn’t invite him to live with me, Tony. Thor asked me to take him in and help him get used to living here and I told him I would.”  
“Don’t let him hear you say that. He might take it the wrong way,” Tony replied.  
Steve shook his head, “You know what I mean, Tony. I really care about him and want to see him happy. In all honesty, I think Thor asking me to help him was the best thing that ever happened to me.”  
“Wow, I never thought I’d ever hear you say that about Rock of Ages.”  
“Yeah, well, neither did I. But I got to go, Tony. Thanks for the info.”  
“Anytime, Cap. Well, not anytime, I am quite busy. I should charge you for my time.”  
Steve chuckled, “Yeah, I’ll be sure to pay you for your time.”  
“I’ll send you my bill,” Tony said before they hung up.

When Loki got out of the bath, Steve was just putting the lasagna in the oven to cook. When he saw Loki, she was still a woman, but this time was dressed in a forest green button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. The top three buttons were still undone so the tops of her breasts were exposed. She wore black bootcut jeans that hugged her thighs before widening out from the knee down. She had her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail with a hair clip. She looked stunning.  
“Thanks,” she smiled at the captain and moved to stand beside him.  
“Huh?” Steve looked at her confused.  
She smirked, “You said I looked stunning.”  
“I did?”  
The goddess giggled softly, “I can see I’ve made you not only speechless but also thoughtless.”  
Steve smiled and shook his head, “Not thoughtless. You just got my thoughts all jumbled. You are absolutely stunning, Loki.”  
“Thank you, Captain.”  
The dark-haired goddess moved about through the kitchen getting a cup and pouring herself a glass of water. She leaned against the counter and looked at the captain. The blond smiled at her before checking on the food cooking in the oven. “Should be done soon.”  
She nodded, “When are our guests expected to arrive?”  
“Should be-“ a knock on the door cut Steve off and he smiled, “Now. You want to go get the door while I get the table set?”  
“Of course, Darling.” Loki went to get the door as Steve gathered the plates and silverware before setting four place settings.  
“Welcome to our-“ Loki cut off as she saw who stood in the doorway.  
Thor’s thundering voice carried into the small apartment as he greeted his brother. “Brother! You are a woman!”  
Loki rolled her eyes, “Obviously, Thor.”  
“But why? I have never seen you as a woman unless there was something for you to gain.”  
“How do you know nothing is there for me to gain right now?” Loki asked as she walked away from Thor and went into the apartment. “Purhaps I did it to see your reaction.”  
Thor looked at his brother and shook his head, “You did not know we were coming.”  
“Oh, leave your brother alone, Thor. I think she looks beautiful.” A woman’s voice came from behind Thor and he turned to look at his mother.  
Queen Frigga was stunning, her long blond hair was pulled into a braid and was resting over her right shoulder. She wore a long golden dress that showed that she was someone of importance. She stood tall, showing her power and pride. She was a very regal woman, yet she was also motherly, especially when she looks upon Loki.  
Loki looked at her mother and tears came to her eyes. “Mother, what are you doing here?”  
She smiled and went to her daughter and pulled her into an embrace. “Steve invited us for dinner. Your father sends his love. We miss you greatly. The palace is not the same without your presence.”  
Loki pulled away and shook her head, “He is not my father.”  
Frigga looked at the dark-haired princess with disapproval. “He does miss you as much as I do, Loki.”  
Loki let out a sharp humorless laugh. “Yeah, right. He couldn’t have been happier than to have gotten rid of me.”  
“That’s not true, Loki,” Frigga replied. “Your father loves you greatly.”  
Sensing that the conversation wasn’t going to end well, Steve asked, “Queen Frigga, you must have some amazing stories about Loki and Thor that you could probably tell?”  
The queen smiled as she looked at the blond soldier, “Call me Frigga, and yes, I’ve got plenty of stories if you wish me to tell them.”  
“Of course, I’d love to hear them.”  
Loki rolled her eyes as she shared a gentle smile with the soldier, grateful that he had successfully changed the subject. The smile, however, did not get pass the queen.  
“Very, well, and hopefully the two will help me tell them.”  
Thor beamed at his mother and nodded, “Of course, Mother!”  
Loki nodded as well, “Yes, indeed. Especially the ones that are when Thor made a fool of himself.”  
Thor looked at Loki and teased, “You did just as much, if not more, than I, Brother!”  
“Oh, really? What say you of the time you tried to win that maiden’s heart so she’d let you between her legs and-“  
Thor cut the young princess off with a laugh, “I doubt the good captain wishes to hear of my fail attempt.”  
Steve smiled at the interaction before saying, “Oh, this I got to hear.”  
“See,” Loki said smugly, “he does wish to know of your failings, Brother!”  
Frigga smiled at her two children and laughed, “Why don’t we sit and indulge the captain with our stories? And maybe he will tell us a few of his own?”  
The captain nodded, “I just might.”  
Loki nodded and gestured to the table that held four seats for once. “Let us sit, dinner should be ready soon.”  
The three family members sat at the table as Steve once again checked on the food to make sure it wasn’t burning. Deeming it ready, he pulled it out of the oven and set it on the stove. Loki got up to help get the plates ready. Frigga watched as her daughter moved about the kitchen with familiarity, getting plates and helping the captain plate the food before carrying them over to the queen and prince.  
“Steve made this. It is from a recipe that his mother used to make,” Loki said as she placed a plate in front of the queen.  
Frigga smiled, “It smells delightful, Captain.”  
“Please, ma’am, call me Steve.”  
She smiled at him and nodded, “Alright, Steve. What is this dish called?”  
“It’s lasagna. It’s an Italian dinner. One of our neighbors was Italian and he didn’t have any family but he wanted to make sure his mother’s recipe would be passed on. When he met my mother and I he took one look at me and knew my mother would be the best one to pass his mother’s legacy on.”  
“Well, it certainly smells delicious. I’m sure Loki thinks so as well.”  
“I haven’t had it yet, actually. This is the first time Steve has made this,” Loki said as she got her own plate and sat down at the table.  
Steve followed suit and sat down beside his lover. “I’m actually surprised though, this is the first dinner I’ve made and Loki has yet to argue with me over her having to eat it.”  
A blush rose to the goddess’s cheeks and she tried to hide it, “It is not.”  
Steve laughed, having noticed the blush, “Yes, it is. It means a lot to me that you are willing to at least try this without a fight.”  
“Your mother made it for you. It is in her memory that I will try it. It is not because I think your Midgardian food is tasteful.”  
The exchange did not go unnoticed by the queen who smiled softly to herself as she watched the two interact, knowing something more was going on.  
“Admit it, you like pizza,” Steve laughed as he took a bite of his food.  
Loki rolled her green eyes, “It is not unpleasant, but I will admit to no more.”  
Thor laughed as he ate his food, “It is wonderful, Friend Steve, whether my brother think it or not.”  
Steve smiled and nodded his thanks. “Thanks, Thor.”  
Frigga gently put her fork down and smiled kindly at Loki. “So, Loki, how have you liked it here?”  
Loki shrugged, “It is not…awful. The captain has been most accommodating, even buying me books I would like to read. He has been very helpful, getting me a place to volunteer at, even if it did fail.”  
“It didn’t fail,” Steve replied as he put his fork down, his dinner gone.  
“Oh, no? I would beg to differ, Captain. I remember being told not to come back because I am a danger to the other volunteers.”  
“It’s not you who should have been-  
Loki quickly stood and shook her head before bringing her plate to the sink. “It does not matter, Captain. I was still told not to return. Therefore, it did not end well.”  
“We’ll think of something else, Loki. Maybe not at a work site.”  
Loki shrugged as she washed her plate. The super soldier got up from the table and brought over his dishes and tried to subtly put a hand on Loki’s lower back. Of course, the queen was watching and saw everything. She smiled as she stood and brought her plate over so Loki could wash it.  
When they were all finished with dinner and the dishes were washed, they sat on the couch and were listening to Loki and Thor explain one of the encounters with a girl.  
“And Thor puffed out his chest and looked at me and Fandral before marching off to talk to the girl!”  
“And of course, Loki used his magic to make me fail!”  
Loki giggled and shook her head, “No magic was needed to make you a fool, Thor. You did it all yourself.”  
“What happened?” Steve asked curiously.  
Loki laughed as she replied, “His tongue got tied. He couldn’t speak to the girl!”  
“I swear, Loki used magic to make it so I couldn’t speak to her.”  
“Oh, please, Thor. You were so dumbstruck by her beauty you failed to find words to express it. Honestly, the girl should have taken it as a compliment.”  
Thor glared at the young princess. “Yeah, she did, until you came over.”  
Loki laughed and nodded, “Indeed. That was my doing then.”  
“What did you do?” The captain asked.  
“I simply told her Thor wished to bed her and see what was between her luscious thighs as that is what he told me.”  
“You did not need to tell her that!” Thor laughed.  
“Yes, well, by that time you had already made a fool of yourself so I felt it was my job as your little brother to help finish you off.”  
Steve shook his head and chuckled, “Couldn’t let him try and make a comeback?”  
“Of course, not. Why would I do that? Besides, if I didn’t then Fandral was. He was so looking forward to the maiden until Thor claimed her.”  
They all laughed, and for once, Loki felt content. Until Frigga spoke.  
“Okay, I feel I have held off long enough to ask.”  
They turned to look at the queen. Frigga looked between Steve and Loki before asking, “When did you two get together?”  
Steve blushed and was at a loss for words as he glanced over at Loki. The goddess looked at her mother before saying, “How did you know?”  
Frigga laughed, “Must you ask that, Loki? I’m your mother, of course I know.”  
Thor looked between the two lovers and his mother confused. “What do you mean, Mother? They have been together since I brought Loki here.”  
Frigga shook her head, “No, Thor, I mean they are a couple, lovers.”  
It took a moment for Thor to process this information, but when it did anger swelled in his stomach. Loki noticed and stood up, fearing the anger was directed at her. “Thor, do not get mad. I didn’t corrupt Steve or-“  
Thor stood up as well and glared down at the super soldier, “How dare you! I brought my brother here for you to protect and this is what you do? I thought you were a good man, Captain, but I see I was wrong!”  
Loki was stunned speechless and Steve stood up quickly, backing away from the thunder god. “Now, Thor, I didn’t- We didn’t- It’s not-“  
“You can’t even accept my brother as a male! No wonder he is a woman. To please you!” Thor bellowed as he advanced towards the captain.  
Steve kept backing up and glanced over at Loki before looking back at the god. “Thor, please, listen to me-“  
“That is enough, Thor,” Frigga’s voice came back with the authority a mother holds when she scolds a child. “Leave the captain be. I’m sure he has no intentions of harming your brother.”  
“I do not care! He was meant to protect Loki, not seduce him.”  
Loki chuckled and finally spoke up, “I fear it was I who seduced him, not the other way around. I do not understand how you could think the captain forces me to do anything I do not wish to do. He did not force me to become a woman. I became a woman because that is what I wished.”  
“You became a woman because he wishes it of you!” Thor insisted.  
Loki growled and shook her head furiously, “No, Thor! He does not. He likes me no matter what I am. He likes me! Not the God of Mischief, or Silvertongue, or Prince of Asgard. He likes me for me! Unlike everyone else!”  
Thor and Loki glared at each other for a moment, neither backing off. Frigga rested a hand on Loki’s shoulder and smiled at her two children, “Come now, stop this fighting.”  
“No, Thor cannot accept that what Steve and I share is true.” Loki pulled away from her mother and looked between the three other people in the room before transforming back into his male form cladded in his Asgardian armor before disappearing without another word.  
Frigga sighed and looked at Steve with a soft smiled, “I am sorry for causing this. I only wish to see Loki happy, and I have never seen him more happier than when he is with you.”  
Steve smiled and nodded, “I feel happier with him as well. It’s been…a long time since I last felt alive. Since I’ve woken up from the ice, I didn’t really feel like I belong. Loki makes me feel like I’m supposed to be here now.”  
The queen nodded and looked at her oldest son, “Come, Thor, we must head back.” To Steve she said, “Tell Loki I love and miss him. Again, I apologize for the argument. We certainly hope you will allow us back for another dinner. It was the best thing since Loki has left us.”  
“Of course, ma’am. You are welcome here anytime. Maybe next time Odin will be willing to come.”  
Thor glared at his fellow Avenger one last time before sighing and saying, “I am sorry as well, Friend Steve. I’m glad my brother has found someone he could trust.”  
Steve smiled and nodded, “Yeah, me too.”  
Frigga hugged the captain and gave him a kiss on the cheek before the queen and prince left his apartment, leaving him alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me forever to write this chapter. A lot has been going on and I just haven't had the time to write anything. I would only get a paragraph done every other day and haven't had any thoughts as to how this chapter was going to go even though I knew what I wanted to happen.  
> So here is the next chapter and I hope you all like it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just...smut...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter but I'm hoping you'll forgive me...

I stood high up on a mountain, snow lay under my feet as the wind whipped around me. The sun was setting in the horizon and the temperature was dropping steadily as the sun went down. I was somewhere in Alaska and the landscape below me was breathtaking. There was snow everywhere, trees covered in show that glistened the sunlight. I almost wished Steve was here to see it with me, but I had left Steve home alone with my brother and mother.  
The thought of Thor sent rage through my blood.  
How dare he! How dare Thor blame Steve for it.  
The captain has been nothing but kind to me, even given what I have done. The more I get to know the dear captain, the more something inside of me grows. It wasn’t love. It can’t be love. The captain was a good man, but he would never love someone like me. He would only break my heart.  
But for now, I just want to get to know the captain more. I want to see where all this is going to go. It may not end well, but at least I know that. I’ll make sure not to give the captain my whole heart, but maybe I can still trust him with a little piece of it.   
It was selfish of me to want to keep pursing this relationship, and it would ultimately lead me or Steve to getting hurt, but I needed this. I needed Steve. It felt amazing to have someone want me in the way that I want them. Steve was good, kind, stable. Compared to me who was the complete opposite. I needed him. He balanced me out. He kept me grounded.  
Panic ran through me as I looked around the landscape.  
I needed Steve.  
Yet, here I was, standing on top of a mountain being angry at Thor and Steve was left home to deal with it all by himself.  
I needed to hurry. I needed to get back to him, before I lose him.  
I opened the door to Yggdrasil and stepped through before moving the door to our little apartment. Before stepping through I took in my surroundings.  
Steve was alone, sitting on the couch sketching. I took a moment to watch the artist. His blond hair was a little ruffled as if he had run his hand through his hair a few times. There were pencil smudges across his nose and just under his blue eye, which was focused on the paper in front of him. He dragged the pencil along the paper almost like a caress and he bit his lower lip in concentration.  
He was beautiful.  
Not wanting to interrupt him, I moved the doorway to stand behind him and looked down at the drawing.  
My heart started racing as I looked at the drawing that was being brought to life by this man’s hands. It was a drawing of me, laying on the bed wearing nothing but a sheet. There was a seductive smile as I gazed at the viewer. The sheet was low on my hips, only there to cover my cock and I had one leg bent as I rested on my elbows.  
The drawing shocked me. It was drawn in a way that didn’t show the monster in me. Instead it showed a seductive creature who was trying to seduce the viewer into joining me in bed.  
Steve gently moved the pencil to caress the lines of my face on the page in a way that someone would call lovingly.  
I took a step back and pulled the door away from the couch before taking a breath and stepping into the apartment. I changed my clothes to a black tee shirt and black jeans before going over to stand in front of the artist.  
He looked up at me, his eyes lighting up as he saw me. I smiled before gently taking the sketchbook from his hands and moving to straddle his lap. I ran my fingers through his hair before pulling him into a deep kiss.  
His arms wrapped around me, holding me close to him as he kissed me back. I slid my tongue along his lower lip before he allowed me to slip my tongue into his mouth. The kisses became heated as he slowly slid his hands down my back to grab my ass. I moaned softly into the kiss and tugged at his hair a little harshly. Steve gasped quietly as he broke the kiss, his blue eyes boring into my green ones.  
“What brought this on all of a sudden?” Steve asked, his voice a bit on the raspy side as he took deep breaths.  
I bit my lip and shrugged as I started to pick at an imaginary loose thread on his shirt. “For putting up with my family. For bringing my family here. For being you. For wanting me. Does the reason really matter? All that matters is that I want this. I want you.”  
Steve smiled as he gently caressed my face with the back of his hand, “Everything matter, Loki. When it comes to you, everything matters to me.”  
I smiled softly before kissing him again. When I broke the kiss, I grabbed his sketchbook and made a show of looking at the drawing. “This is really good? You have a wonderful imagination.”  
“Thanks, it helps when I have just a wonderful subject.” He smiled at me as he carefully ran his fingers down my side.  
I looked up at him though my eyelashes before whispering, “Shall we make your imagination become reality?”  
Steve chuckled as he pulled me into a kiss. He gently grabbed both my thighs holding me to him as he stood up effortlessly and carrying me down to his bedroom. When we got to the room he turned and pressed me up against the wall by the door and deepened the kiss. He pressed his body close to mine, his hips rutting against mine. I moaned softly against his mouth as my hands started pulling at his shirt.  
To get his shirt off, he had to put me down to yank up over his head and tossing it to the floor. When his shirt was off, he looked at me and smiled as he began to undress me himself. He pulled my shirt up over my head and tossed it to the floor besides his. He started kissing my neck as his fingers busied themselves with unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans before pushing them to the floor.  
I moaned as he bit down on my neck at the same time of grasping my cock in his hand and began stroking it. I dug my nails into his back, leaving red marks down his back. He grunted before pulling away from my necking and picking me up and dropping me on his bed.  
I bit my lip as I looked up at him as he stripped out of his jeans and boxers. He looked down at me and smiled before getting on the bed and climbing on top of me, bringing his lips to mine and kissing me passionately. He draped his body over mine, our skin against skin making us both moan softly into each other’s mouths.  
I broke the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck before whispering, “Are you sure about this? Do you want me to-“?  
Steve kissed me, cutting me off from what I was saying. “I’m sure, Loki. You are perfect like this. You are always perfect. I would never ask you to change.”  
I blushed and looked away, not meeting his eyes, “I just thought it would be easier for you.”  
“Loki, you are perfect. I just want you. I don’t care if you’re a male or female. I just want you, in any way I can have you.”  
I nodded and pulled him into a kiss, wanting to express to him how much that means to me. That he simply wanted me in any way he could have me made me feel good. No one has ever wanted just me. I always had to change to fit my partner’s needs, but Steve just wants me to be who I am. Nothing else. I could never tell him how it makes me feel to know someone wants me.  
Steve broke away from the kiss and started kissing down my body, licking and biting as he made his way down to my chest. When he got to my nipples he licked it before sucking on them, running his tongue over the nub and scraping his teeth over it as well. He used his hand to pinch my other nipple and I groaned, my back arching into his mouth.  
“Steve,” I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair. I needed more. My skin felt like it was on fire where ever he touched me.  
The blond looked up at me before kissing across my chest to the other nipple and giving it the same treatment he did to the other one. Once he was done, he kissed down my stomach to my left hip before looking up at me a bit nervously.  
“You’ll have to guide me a bit, but I think I know what to do.”  
I nodded and smiled encouragingly down at him, “I’m sure you could figure it out, Darling. I’ll let you know if you’re missing something.”  
He smiled at me before kissing my hip and nuzzling my thigh. He looked at me as he gently took my dick in his hand before placing a gentle kiss on the tip. I moaned and leaned my head back slightly as he took the tip into his mouth. I bit my lip trying to hold back the moans as the captain took me further into his mouth. He ran his tongue along the bottom and I unintentionally thrusted my hips up.  
He put a hand to my hip, holding me down as he continued to suck me off. Moans kept slipping through my lips as he worked me with his talented mouth. He used his free hand to fondle my balls before pulling away from me all together.  
I looked at him, panicking a bit. He wasn’t going to leave me here unsatisfied, would he?  
Steve smiled reassuringly as he reached into his bedside table and grabbed a bottle of lube. He held it up for me to see and said, “Just getting this, love, no need to worry.”  
I sighed in relief and nodded, “Of course.”  
He leaned down and kissed me before pouring a small amount of the lube onto his fingers. I bit my lip and watched him as he trailed his slick fingers down my stomach, over my dick, and slowly down to my ass crack.  
I bit my lip in anticipation and parted my legs so that he had better access to my asshole. He gently pressed a finger against my hole before pushing in slowly. He watched me as he moved his finger in and out, waiting until I was ready for him to insert another digit.  
I nodded at him to let him know I was okay and he slowly added another finger. I moaned and squirmed a little bit as I felt him stretching me out, scissoring me open, trying to open me up for something bigger than his fingers.  
“Steve,” I moaned out softly, “please.”  
He continued fingering me as he leaned down to place a kiss on my stomach, “Hold on, love, just a bit more.”  
I groaned and bit my lip as I tried to keep from becoming impatient.  
Steve bit my hip as he slowly pushed a third finger into me, stretching me more. My muscles started to burn as pain coursed through me from my ass. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to relax my body so that it wouldn’t hurt as much. Steve gently rubbed my thigh with his free hand as he spoke softly to me but I couldn’t hear him. I was too lost in all the sensations to hear him.  
Finally, he pulled his fingers out and I moaned softly. The feeling of being empty, of no longer being filled, was a great loss. I reached for the captain, wanting him to fill me again.  
Steve moved up above me again and gently kissed my lips. He grabbed the bottle of lube again and squirted some of the gel into his palm before covering his cock in the liquid. “Ready?” he asked as he lined his cock up against my hole.  
I nodded as I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair. “Please.”  
He kissed me gently before slowly pushing into me. I gasped and buried my face in his neck, the feeling of being stretched was overwhelming. He stopped with only his tip in me and kissed my neck.  
“It’s okay, love. Just tell me if I need to stop.”  
I groaned and shook my head. “Don’t stop,” I gasped into his neck. “Please, don’t stop.”  
He nodded as he pushed in a bit more, slowly filling more up more. Slowly, he made his way into me and when he was finally buried to the hilt, his hips meeting mine, he stopped and looked at me. By now, we were both panting and covered in sweat as we waited for my body to get accustomed to his cock inside me. Finally, the pain started to subside enough and I nodded, letting the captain know he could move.  
Slowly, he started to pull out of me before pushing back in. The pain was quickly leaving my thoughts and all I could feel was pleasure. Feeling the captain’s cock move inside me was bliss, it was a wonderful feeling knowing he was inside of me pulling me apart. He tried to keep a steady pace, slowly thrusting in and out of me, but I didn’t want slow and gentle. I started to move my hips against the captain’s, encouraging him to move faster.   
And he did, with each thrust he got a bit faster and a bit harder until he hit my prostate and I gasped, my back arching as the pleasure coursed through me. I pulled Steve into a rough kiss, teeth clashing against each other and the taste of blood came to my tongue as we continued to kiss. Steve picked up the pace of trusting into me, each time his cock rubbed against my sweet spot. My nerve endings felt like they were on fire and it felt amazing.  
Our bodies moved together in sync, sliding together to make the pleasure build. Steve gasped into my ear every once in a while as he thrusted into me. He reached between us and gently grabbed my cock, beginning to stroke me to the pace of his thrusts. I gasped, the pleasure building becoming almost unbearable pushing me closer to my release.  
“S-Steve,” I moaned and dug my nails into his back scratching down his back, “I-I’m close!”  
He nodded and bit my neck before whispering, “So am I.”  
I whimpered softly as he ran his thumb across the tip of my cock and swirling the precum around the tip. Between the sensation of his cock thrusting in and out of me hitting my prostate repeatedly, and the feeling of his hand stroking my cock was bringing me to the end, not much longer and I-  
I moaned loudly, my head falling backwards as I released onto mine and Steve’s chests. I closed my eyes as I begun coming down from my orgasm and could still feel Steve moving inside me until he finally released. He let out a soft moan before pulling out and rolling over to lay beside me.  
I opened my eyes and looked over at him. He was covered in sweat, his blond hair stuck to his forehead, and his chest kept rising and falling quickly.  
I rolled over and gently rested my hand on top of his chest as I smiled up at him. “That was…amazing.”  
Steve smiled and took my hand in his, “Yeah, it was.”  
I looked at our entwined hands and felt at peace. It was an odd feeling, but one I was oddly content with. “I didn’t know your bed was so comfy.”  
Steve chuckled as he ran a hand down my arm, “Yeah, I realized we don’t really come in here but I think you could maybe move in here. I mean, if you want that is. I get it if you want to continue sleeping in your own room. I just thought, I mean, we’ve already been sleeping in the same bed for a while and so it wouldn’t be odd for you not to be in here, with me.”  
I smiled as I pushed myself to rest on one arm looking down at the babbling man. “You really aren’t good with words, are you, Darling?”  
Steve smiled, “No, not really.”  
“Fear not,” I said as I kissed his cheek, “I shall be eloquent with words while you babble away. However, if you should be done rambling I would like to give you my answer.”  
The captain nodded and bit his lip as he waited for me to answer.  
I leaned down and placed a soft kiss to his lips before whispering, “I would love to move in here with you.”  
When I pulled away, the captain had a bright smile on his face. “Really?”  
I nodded, “Really. I feel awful that you had to get rid of your art studio because of me and with me living in here with you, you could have it back.” Steve opened his mouth to protest and I smiled in reassurance and quickly said, “Before you say anything, that’s not why I am agreeing to moving in here with you. I am just saying that once I move out of that room you can have your art studio back.”  
Steve shook his head and chuckled, “I’m not worried about my art studio, Kitten.”  
“I know you are not, but I am. I do not want you to give up your passion because of me. You are an artist, Steve, you need your space to be an artist.”  
He smiled at me and caressed my cheek with his hand before pulling me into a deep kiss. “I love you,” he whispered against my lips.  
I quickly pulled away from him and looked down at him. I must have heard incorrectly. The captain didn’t just say that. No, of course not. He doesn’t love me. He would never love me. He was just saying that because he feels he must.  
I looked away from him and whispered, “Do not lie. You do not love me.”  
“Yes, I do, Loki. I do love you.”  
I shook my head and laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling. “Please, stop saying that.”  
“Why?” Steve asked as he took my old position of leaning up on one elbow to look down at me. “Why should I stop saying it when it’s true?”  
I closed my eyes and shook my head, “Please, Steve, just stop.”  
A gentle hand touched my cheek and I couldn’t help but to lean into the touch. “I’m just trying to understand.”  
“I know, but please, I just can’t,” I whispered as I opened my eyes and looked up at him.  
His blue eyes looked into my green ones, searching for an answer. He must have found what he was looking for because he sighed and nodded before kissing me again. “Fine, we’ll discuss that later then.”  
I smiled and nodded, “Seems like our list of things to talk about later is getting longer.”  
Steve smiled and nodded, “It is. We’ll have to rectify that soon, you know?”  
“Yeah, I know. But for now, we sleep.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a surprise from Loki. Loki and Steve have a talk.

The sun was rising steadily into the sky as feet pounded against the pavement. Steve jogged through the streets of New York, the streets weren’t busy so Steve had no problem relaxing while he ran. He thought about the night before and smiled. He made love to Loki, and it was amazing. He had never experienced something like that before, the feeling of Loki against him was amazing he couldn’t describe it.  
And Loki agreed to move into his room with him. It would be their room from now on. Everything was going great. Now only if he could get a better reaction from Loki when he tells him he loves the god.  
The smile faded from Steve’s face. Why did Loki react that way? Why did Loki move away from him after the captain told him he loved him? Steve couldn’t understand it and unless Loki told him he may never know.  
Steve kept running until the sun had almost fully risen into the sky before returning home. Loki was sitting on the couch reading when Steve walked in and kicked off his shoes. Loki looked up at the captain and gave a small smile before placing a bookmark in the book before standing up and going over to the captain. He wrapped his arms around the captain’s neck and pulling him into a kiss.  
“You’re sweaty,” Loki laughed after breaking the kiss.  
Steve chuckled and nodded, “That tends to happen after a run, kitten.”  
Loki nodded as he gave the captain another kiss before going to the kitchen to pour the blond a glass of water. Steve gladly accepted the water and drank it down quickly.  
“So,” Loki said, a mischievous smirk on his face. “Why don’t you go take a shower, darling, and I’ll have breakfast ready by the time you are done. Towel and clothes are already in the bathroom just waiting for you.”  
Steve smiled at the god, “What are you up to, kitten?”  
Loki smiled innocently, “Whatever do you mean, darling?”  
“You’re being awfully nice. On top of that, you don’t even know how to cook, so how do you plan on making breakfast?”  
Loki shrugged, “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see. For now, just go and enjoy your shower. Oh, and do not go to your room. I’ve got a surprise for you.”  
Steve smiled and kissed the god gently, “You are something, you know that?”  
Loki rolled his eyes, “Of course I do. I am a god.”  
The captain didn’t respond, just gave the god one last kiss before heading to the bathroom to take a shower.  
After he was showered and dressed, Steve made his way to the kitchen, following the scent of bacon and eggs. When he got there, he found the table set with two plates and two glasses of orange juice. Loki was just putting the food onto the plates. One plate had an omelet with cheese, peppers, onions, and sausage with a few pieces of bacon on the side along with four slices of English muffins. The other plate had scrambled eggs and cheese with sausage and bacon on the side along with two slices of English muffins.  
Loki looked up when he saw the captain and smiled. “You look good wet.”  
Steve chuckled, “You look even better, I could almost eat you up.”  
Loki smirked, “Now, now, darling. First we must have breakfast before you can have dessert.”  
“Oh?” Steve raised an eyebrow as he went to the god. “So, you’re saying after breakfast I can eat you up?”  
“Not right after breakfast as much as I would want to. First, breakfast, second your two surprises, and third dessert.”  
“You’ve got this all planned out, don’t you?” Steve asked.  
Loki nodded, “Of course. I always remain three steps ahead of everyone else. Now sit, enjoy your omelet. I hope it is to your liking.”  
Steve cut a piece of his omelet with his fork before stabbing it and bringing the piece to his mouth. He hummed softly and smiled. “This is really good, Loki.”  
Loki smiled and begun eating his own eggs.  
While they ate, Steve looked at Loki and said, “At some point today we need to talk about everything that happened yesterday. We can’t keep putting it off.”  
Loki nodded and looked down at his plate, “Yes, of course. I know we need to, Darling. Later. Right now, I just want to eat breakfast with you and give you your surprise.”  
“Well, maybe we should talk about it now? I mean, then the surprise could make everything better.”  
Loki shook his head, “Later, Darling. Please.”  
The captain sighed but nodded, choosing to relent for now. He shouldn’t press Loki too far. He never knows when Loki is on the verge of closing up. If that happened they would never get to talk.  
They finished eating in a peaceful silence and then they both did the dishes together. Once they had the dishes done and put again, Loki pulled Steve into a gentle kiss and taking his hand leading him down the hall.  
Steve followed behind and smiled when Loki stopped in front of his bedroom door.  
“Well? Are we going to go in?”  
Loki smiled and nodded, “Yes, we are, but you have to close your eyes first.”  
Steve obliged and closed his eyes letting Loki help lead him into the room. Finally, Loki told him to open his eyes. He looked around the room and a smile slowly grew on his face. Loki had moved all of his stuff into the room, all except the bookshelf and bed. His dresser stood next to Steve’s and a nightstand stood on one side of the bed with a book placed on top of it. Two more pillows had joined the bed as well. It was their room now.  
Steve smiled at Loki and pulled him into a kiss. “I love it. How did you even manage to do this on your own?”  
Loki smiled and shrugged, “Oh, you know, magic.”  
Steve smiled and kissed the god again, wrapping his arms around the god’s slim waist. They stood there kissing for a few minutes before Loki pulled away, his lips swollen from the kiss.  
“Much as I would love to stand here kissing you more, I’ve got one more surprise for you.”  
Steve smiled and nodded taking Loki’s hand in his own. “Lead the way, kitten.”  
Loki lead Steve out of their bedroom and down to Loki’s old room. Again, Loki told Steve to close his eyes before entering the room. This time when he opened his eyes he was shocked.  
It was his art room, yet everything was different and knew. There was a new art easel with a new blank canvas on it already sitting by the window with a wooden stool in front of it. There was a shelf that held different art supplies including paints, brushes, pencils, pens, canvases, paper, and so on. Everything he could ever want or need for art was there. There was also in one side of the room a table that could be used for drying bigger pieces of art, and next to that was a drying rack to hold the smaller pieces of art. In the other corner of the room was a loveseat which sat next to a small bookshelf with various kinds of books on it. Some of it fiction, some of it art, some of it history.  
Loki was looking at him, his green eyes showing his hope that Steve would like the room. Steve looked around the room again, the light of the sun spilling into the room making it even more wonderful.  
Slowly, the smile on the god’s face began to fade as he looked around the room before looking back at the captain. “You do not like it.”  
Steve shook his head and gave a small smile, “I just- I don’t know what to say.”  
Disappoint shown clear in the god’s eyes, “Just say you don’t like it. I will not be upset.”  
Steve wrapped his arms around the fallen prince and gently kissed him, “I love you.”  
Loki looked up at Steve and shook his head, “I told you, do not lie about that.”  
Steve shook his head and smiled, “I’m not lying, Loki. I do love you. If you don’t wish to believe that I really do love you, believe that right now, in this moment I am in love with you.”  
Loki looked down and whispered, “You cannot love me, Captain, it will only end in heartache.”  
“I won’t let it end in heartache, Loki. I want you, I don’t want to lose you. I would go to the end of the earth to be with you.”  
Tears begun welling up in the god’s eyes and so to try and prevent the tears from falling he closed his eyes. “Do not say that. Please. I just can’t.”  
Steve gently cupped Loki’s face in his hands and tilted Loki’s face up to look at him. “I’m not lying to you, Loki, I would never lie to you.”  
Loki pulled away and walked over to the window. He crossed his arms over his chest as he looked out over the city. “You cannot love me, Steve. I am not capable of being loved.”  
Steve walked over to Loki and wrapped his arms around the god’s waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. “You are capable of love, Loki. You deserve it and you deserve so much more. I want to give you more. I want to give you everything you deserve.”  
Loki learned into Steve’s touch and closed his eyes, “Do not promise me things that you will not be able to keep, Steve. It is impossible.”  
“Why is it impossible, Loki? Because I don’t think it is. If there is a reason than you need to tell me what it is.”  
Loki turned around in the captain’s arms and wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck. “Everything I love gets taken from me. My kids, my mother, my wife, even Thor. I lose all of them. I can’t love you, too.”  
Steve shook his head and placed a gentle kiss on Loki’s lips, “You won’t lose me, I promise. I’ll fight anyone and everyone who tries to keep you from me.”  
“No, you wouldn’t. Not if it was your friends.”  
“I would. Besides, I don’t think my friends would really care, once they get to know you.”  
“They would care, because of exactly that. They wouldn’t get to know me. They would see me and immediately kill me on sight.”  
“I don’t know about that,” Steve said, “Tony seemed to like you.”  
“Tony puts up with me.”  
Steve smiled and shook his head, “No, he doesn’t. He likes you. You two are going to be good friends.”  
Loki shrugged, “Maybe Stark and I could be friends, but I doubt anyone else would be willing to be friends with me.”  
“Once they get to know you, and they see me with you, I’m sure they will love you. Even if they don’t, I don’t care. I wouldn’t give you up just for them. You mean more to me, Loki.”  
Loki shook his head, “No, I don’t.”  
“Yes, you do. I love you, Loki. My friends are just going to have to understand that. They don’t need to like it, they just have to respect it.”  
Loki sighed and pulled away from Steve, “I believe that you think that, Captain, I do. But I still don’t think you understand the risks. Being with me, it isn’t easy. In the end, we will only get hurt.”  
“Then fight for it, Loki. Do you want to be with me?”  
Loki looked at the captain astonished, “Of course I do. It is just not possible.”  
“It is possible, Loki. Fight for it if it’s what you want. Don’t just let it go.”  
“I don’t want to hurt you.” Tears started gathering in the fallen prince’s eyes and he looked away from the super soldier. “I don’t wish to lose you.”  
“You won’t lose me, Loki. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. If I have to, I will fight all of Asgard to keep you by my side.”  
Loki chuckled, “I’m sure you could take on most of them, though they are a warrior race.”  
Steve shrugged, “I think I could take them all. Unlike them, though, I don’t get tired easily. I could continue fighting while they all get tired.”  
Loki laughed and shook his head, “You seem quite confident in yourself, Captain.”  
“I am, because I would do anything to keep you with me.”  
Loki smiled and took Steve’s hands in his. “You make me feel wanted. I’ve never felt wanted before.”  
Steve smiled back at the fallen prince. “Because you are wanted, kitten. I always will want you.”  
This time it was Loki pulling Steve into a kiss. The conversation was over for now, Steve knew, but there was still more to talk about but it could wait for later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, I wanted to leave the bigger conversation that Loki and Steve need to have for Loki's POV. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll update as soon as I can.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Steve have a cute moment together

Steve and I sat on the couch; him with his sketchbook open, the pencil moving across the page, and me with a book propped up on my knees. We sat together in a comfortable silence, every now and then one of us would glance up and look at the other. I looked up when the sounds of the pencil moving across the page ceased. Steve was looking at me, his blue eyes studying me as I sat there in front of him.  
I raised an eyebrow and said, “Yes?”  
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered softly.  
I looked at him confused. I was dressed in just my green silk pajama pants and my black hair was loose hanging around my face. “What?”  
Steve set his sketchbook aside and moved closer to me; sliding my bookmark in between the pages before putting that aside as well.  
“I said, you’re beautiful.”  
“And you are stunning, Captain, but I do not understand what brought this on.”  
Steve smiled and kissed the fallen prince’s cheek. “Can I not appreciate you and your beauty? Is that not allowed?”  
I smiled and moved to kiss the captain’s lips. “It is allowed, yet I still do not understand.”  
Steve cupped my cheek in one hand as he pressed another kiss upon my lips. “Everything about you is beautiful, Loki. I just want you to know that.”  
“Not everything about me is beautiful, Captain, but everything about you is wonderful and brilliant and bright.”  
Steve smiled, his thumping moving over my bottom lip. “I wish I had your way with words. If I did, I would tell you in all the ways that I could how beautiful you are.”  
I chuckled and licked my lips, making sure to sweep my tongue across his thump. “You do have a way with words, Captain, just your words are silent. You speak, not from your lips but from a pencil which is just an extension of your hand. The lines you draw, the pictures you make, they show the world the way you see it through your eyes. You show people their beauty without ever saying a word, though you are modest and say it’s not your best. But it is. Everything you create is your best because you created it by the way you see it.”  
His blue eyes shone with a light, a happiness that he has not shown before. “See, you know just how to say things, yet I fumble with my words.”  
I laughed and shook my head, “You do not speak your words, Captain, you show them.”  
“’Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind,’” Steve whispered.  
“I do not think that quote means what you think it does.”  
“It can mean whatever it is we wish it to mean. You say my words are silent, that I show people what I see with a simple drawing-“  
I cut him off by saying, “They are not simple drawings, Captain. They are beautiful creations made by your hand.”  
“-which to me would mean,” he continued as if I had never even spoken, “I see more with my eyes than my mind. Whereas you see more with your mind than your eyes.”  
I shook my head and laughed, “You are a curiosity to me, Captain, for that is nowhere near what that quote means.”  
He smiled, “I would think that words are open for interpretation. There are no right answers, only what you hear from it.”  
“That’s poetry, Darling. Poetry is open for interpretation, yet for some reason people want to know what the author was thinking when they made it.”  
The captain shrugged, “Maybe to get a better understanding as to what the poem is about?”  
“I understand that, but when you read a poem for the first time, your first reaction and feeling is so pure because you read it the way you think it’s meant to be read. Yet, once you know the true meaning behind it, it loses its power because you know what it really is.”  
Steve nodded, “I guess I understand what you mean.”  
I rolled my eyes, “Maybe no one will understand what I mean. I see the world differently than others do.”  
“We all do. Now, sit there and go back to your reading, I want to draw my world the way I see it.”  
I raised an eyebrow at him but he had already turned away, picking up his sketchbook and pencil and starting to draw on a new page. I shook my head and picked my book up, getting lost in its words yet again.

“Done.” Steve put his pencil down and looked at his completed work.  
I looked over the top of my book at him and said, “And?”  
Steve reached over and plucked my book from my fingers for the second time today and placed it down next to his abandoned pencil. He scooted over towards me, holding his sketchbook close to him to hide the drawing. Once he was sitting close to me, his thigh against mine, he laid the sketchbook down on my lap with the new drawing exposed.  
It was a simple sketch, though not simple as the sketch had come from the mind of the Captain. It was a breathtaking picture of me, sitting on the couch with my knees pulled up to my chest with the book I was reading resting on top. I had one hand laying across my lap and the other one was resting on the books pages, keeping the book from closing. My hair was hanging loose, one stand just barely hanging in front of one eye, yet both my eyes were open and focused. My lips were slightly parted, and my body seemed so relaxed. I seemed so relaxed and at peace.  
“I wanted to show you my world in the way I see it, and this is how I see it. This is my world.”  
I looked up at him and smiled, “It is beautiful.”  
“You are beautiful,” he replied.  
“I do not deserve the beauty that you have cast me into, Darling.”  
“You deserve it all. You aren’t all darkness, Loki, you are also light as well.”  
I smiled and leaned over to kiss him gently. “Why have you seen me in ways no one else has ever seen me before?”  
“Maybe because I actually try and see the different sides of you, no matter how many there are.”  
I rolled my eyes, “You are truly amazing, Captain.”  
“And you are truly beautiful, Loki.”  
I smiled and kissed him again, wrapping my arms around his neck. He picked up the sketchbook and moved it to the coffee table before kissing my back, pushing me to lay on the couch of my back. It was content, wonderful, and we stayed like that for a while, just kissing and laughing together. It was new, and wonderful, and I didn’t want to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, sorry for the long wait! I have to finally admit that for the first time in my life I finally had writer's block and I couldn't get out of it. I know this chapter is incredibly short, but I'm still fighting with this block I have. Anyways, it'll be another while before I can update again as I am going on a two week vacation with my family but I hope to have another chapter posted not long after I return so yeah... Hope you like the chapter.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Loki talk.

Loki and Steve spent the day curled up in the couch, laughing and kissing, until Steve's stomach gave a rumble.  
The god chuckled and kissed the captain's lips, "Someone's hungry."  
Steve chuckled, "Just a bit."  
"Well," Loki said looking at Steve who is laying partially on top of him, "if you get up, we can make dinner."  
Steve groaned and laid his head on Loki's chest and wrapped his arms around the god's waist. "Too much work to get up and make food when we can just lie here and cuddle. Why don't we order out?"  
Loki shrugged, "Whatever you want to do, Darling, I'm okay with whatever we do."  
Steve lifted his head and smiled, "Oh, really?"  
Right on cue, Steve's stomach gave another grumble and they both laughed. "Later, Darling, food first."  
Steve nodded and reached over and grabbed his phone off the coffee table.  
"What do you want to eat, Kitten?"  
Loki shrugged, "Whatever is fine. Just choose something and we'll eat."  
Steve nodded and searched the numbers for places to eat before deciding to order pizza. Once the order was placed, he kissed Loki on the lips and smiled.  
"There, dinner is cooking and will be here in thirty minutes of so."  
The god nodded, "Alright."  
The captain smiled down at the fallen prince before leaning down and kissing him. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."  
"You already did, Darling. That drawing was beautiful."  
Steve smiled, "You sure it was enough?"  
Loki nodded, "I'm sure."  
They laid in silence until the food arrived and only then did they get up off the couch and went to eat the food in the kitchen.  
Finally, Steve looked up and said, "We need to talk about what happened."  
Loki stopped eating mid bite before lowering the pizza to the plate and finished chewing the food in his mouth. Once that was done, he replied, "We don't really."  
"Yes, we do, Loki. We can't keep putting it off."  
"There's nothing to talk about, Steve, really."  
Steve watched Loki for a moment before saying, "What happened, Loki? What did he do? You need to tell me, Loki. I can't help you if you don't tell me."  
"I do not need help, Captain. I am perfectly fine."  
"No, you're not. I know you're not. You need to tell-"  
The god quickly stood up and slammed his hands down onto the table and said, "I do not have to tell you anything, Captain!"  
Steve sat there, looking up at at Loki who was breathing heavily. Loki's eyes were bright as he glared at him. Finally, the captain replied, "You done?"  
Loki scowled before stand up straight. "No, I am not."  
Steve nodded and waited for Loki to say what he needed to say, but instead the god turned and stalked out of the room and headed down the hall.  
"Where are you going?" Steve asked.  
"The bathroom. I'm going to take a bath." The bathroom door slammed shut before Steve heard the water start up.  
Steve sighed and rested his elbows on the table. He had a hard time keeping up with Loki's emotions, but this time he understood why Loki was being this way. He still didn't know what happened with Oscar, but he knew it was what caused Loki's outburst tonight not that Steve wanted to know.  
After a few moments, Steve got up and started to pick up the food. When he was done, he went and knocked on the bathroom door.  
"What?" Loki's voice drifted through the bathroom door.  
"Can I come in?" Steve asked.  
He heard the lock on the door turn and figured that was his answer. He opened the door and went in. Loki was sitting in the tub, his arms wrapped around his knees. He was watching Steve as he came into the room and sat on the lid of the toilet.  
The dark prince closed his eyes and rested his cheek on his knees and closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You know what happened, Steve. He touched me. He put his hand down my shirt. He pinned me against the wall and tried to force himself on me. For a moment I felt powerless. He was stronger than most Midgardians, yet he managed to pin me. He didn't get too far before I used my magic and pushed him through the wall. I tried not to hurt him. I tried not to use my magic, but I couldn't stop him. What else was I supposed to do?"  
Steve got up and went to kneel beside the tub. He gently took Loki's hand in his and kissed those long fingers. "You did what you needed to get him off you. How else were you supposed to protect yourself. If you couldn't escape without your magic, then how else were you supposed to get away? You did what you needed to do."  
Loki opened his eyes and looked at Steve, "I was thinking of you. I didn't want to hurt him because I knew you wouldn't be happy if I did."  
"Don't think like that, Loki. If someone is attacking you, you do anything you can to get away." Steve kissed Loki's fingers again, trying to comfort Loki the best he could. "I would never be mad at you for protecting yourself no matter what you had to do."  
Loki nodded and gave Steve and small smile. "You sure?"  
"I'm sure," Steve said and smiled at the god.  
"Alright, then how about you get those clothes off and come join me in here?"  
Steve chuckled and stood up, stripping out of his clothes as he went. "Don't mind if I do."  
Once he was undressed, he climbed into the tub behind Loki, kissing the god's shoulder after getting settled.  
Loki smiled and leaned back against Steve's chest. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier, it was uncalled for."  
"No, it's fine. I was out of line. I shouldn't have pushed you. I should have known that you would tell me when you were ready."  
Loki shook his head, "No, I wouldn't have. If you didn't confront me, I would never have talked about it."  
"Well," Steve said as he began to draw on Loki's chest with his fingers, "I'm glad you told me. Now I can do everything I can to erase his touch from you."  
Loki looked back at him and kissed him, "You are too good to me, Darling."  
"One the best for you, Kitten, nothing less."  
They stayed there in silence for awhile before getting up out of the tub and drying off to go to bed.

A shadow stood outside the apartment of Steve Rogers. They had learned where the captain lived along with the British bitch that he had recently been seen with. They watched as the lights in the apartment turned out as the two got ready for bed. Once all the lights where out, the shadow moved.  
They crossed the street to the building and looked through the window to the living room, which was dark and empty.  
It was still to early to even think about breaking in as they both just went to bed. It was also not a brilliant idea to try and break into the apartment of Captain Steve Rogers. No, for now they were content with just watching. There will be a time later for doing anything else. Now was the time to gather information.  
They had already tried to get information on the bitch, but there was none. No records on her entering the country, no immigrant papers, not even a drivers license. There was nothing as to who this woman really was. It was like she just appeared out of nowhere.  
She could be here illegally, but as of right now Ariana Carlton-as that's the name she had given to the group-didn't even exist. And if she was of a high class family as she said then there would be some mention of her somewhere. No, whoever she was, she was not Ariana Carlton.  
For now, they were content to wait and watch, but only at night. He couldn't risk alerting the captain to his presence. He couldn't go up against the captain.  
Watch.  
Wait.  
Learn.  
He would learn everything there was to know about this bitch. The one who made a fool of him a few days earlier. She would pay.  
They always pay.  
He would make her pay.

Steve and Loki curled up in bed together, laying down for the night. Both were content now that they had gotten through was struggle. Of course, it wasn't over. Oscar was still out there and they both knew that there was a chance he would try and come back for revenge, but that was a discussion for another day. Tonight, they just wanted to be together.  
Loki rolled over to lay on his side and looked at the captain who was bathed in the moonlight streaming in through the bedroom window.  
"Thank you, Darling," he whispered.  
Steve looked at Loki and smiled, "What for."  
The god shrugged, "For not giving up on me. I've given you more reasons than I could even count to give up on me. To hate me, get here you are holding me as we get ready to go to sleep. Since I've been here with you you've made me feel more wanted and more at home than I have anywhere else. I nearly killed you and your friends, I just can't believe you would even want me in your house let alone your bed."  
Steve wrapped his arms around the fallen prince and kissed his forehead. "When Thor first approached me about you coming here, I thought that same, but some part of me felt like maybe you could be redeemed and I still believe it. I just think we are working on your way to being redeemed one fight at a time."  
Loki sat up and looked down at Steve and smiled. "And you said you weren't good at words."  
Steve chuckled, "I'm not, but maybe you just inspire me."  
The dark prince leaned down and kissed the super soldier on the lips before climbing on top of him, straddling his waist. Steve's hands moved to rest in Loki's hips as the god leaned down and kissed him again.  
Their lips move together as the kiss deepened and become more lustful. As Loki's hands began wandering down Steve's chest, Steve pulled Loki's lower lip into his mouth and bit it.  
Loki pulled back and looked down at Steve almost in shock. Steve smiled shyly at Loki as the god stared.  
"Did you just bite me?" Loki asked with a smile.  
Steve nodded and replied, "I did. If you don't want to be bitten-"  
"I never said that," Loki interrupted.  
"-then don't taste so delicious,"Steve continued as if the dark haired man hadn't spoken.  
The god smiled and kissed the captain again, this time the kiss was almost desperate. As the two confined to kiss, Steve's grasp on Loki's hips tightened just before he quickly rolled them both over so he hovered over his lover.  
Loki pulled back again to protest, but the captain pressed a finger to the god's lips, silently hushing him.  
Lips found each other again as hands started pulling at clothes until they both lied naked under the blankets. Slowly, Steve's lips trailed kissed down to Loki's neck as the prince moved to give the artist more room. The blond pulled some of the skin under his lips into his mouth before gently biting down and sucking.  
The god moaned and bit his bottom lip trying to muffle the noise. When the captain found a sensitive spot on the god's neck and but down again, Loki gasped, his back arching slightly off the bed and into Steve's chest.  
Steve smiled as he continue to move slowly down the god's body, leaving bite marks and soft kisses as he went. When he got to one of Loki's nipples, he pulled the nub into his mouth and sucked on it. Loki moaned at the attention which only made Steve continue md his ministrations.  
Once he gave both of Loki's nipples attention, he continued his way down lower to Loki's stomach. Before he got much further, though, Loki pulled the captain back up to kiss him.  
"I love you," Steve whispered against Loki's lips.  
"Shh," Loki said, "don't talk."  
Steve nodded and kissed Loki again.  
As the two kissed, hands began to seek one another, pulling each other closer, every part of them touching. Slowly the both began to grind against each other, seeking friction and release as the both grew hard at the others touch.  
Loki moved his hand between himself and Steve and grasped both their cocks together in his hand. At Loki's touch, Steve broke the kiss and burried his face in his lover's neck as Loki began to move his hand along their lengths. By now both of them were breathing hard and soft moans left their lips, mingling together.  
With every stroke, Loki would run his thumb over the tips of their cocks, stimulating them, wanting to bring about their climax. With his free hand, he ran his fingers through the captain's blond hair tugging on the strands until the captain returned to kissing Loki's neck.  
They both moved together as Loki began to speed up the strikes, both chasing their release. Loki was the first to release, his seed spilling over both of their chests. Steve pulled back to see the god with his head thrown back slightly and his eyes squeeze closed. His mouth was open slightly in a silent moan and his cheeks were flushed from it all.  
From the feel of Loki's own release and seeing the expression on the god's face brought about the captain's own release, his cum spilling across their chest mixing with Loki's.  
Out of breath, Steve gently collapsed on top of Loki and closed his eyes listening to the god breathe. Slowly, they both came down from their high, but neither moved, both comfortable thr way they were.  
"Much as I love feeling you in top of r, Darling, you are quite heavy," Loki said as he kissed the captain's neck.  
Steve nodded and pushed himself up to look down at Loki, "Alright, well, I'll go get a washcloth to wipe us down before bed."  
Loki nodded and watched as the captain climbed out of bed and left the room.  
When Steve returned, he carried a wet washcloth with him, he had already cleaned himself off. He climbed back onto the bed and cleaned the god off before throwing the cloth somewhere in the room before curling up with his love and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this chapter. I found the end of my writers block and just kept writing. This will probably be the last post I do until I return from vacation on July 30.  
> So, until I return!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has a moment of weakness.

I woke up early in the morning to an empty bed. The apartment was silent as I laid in bed by myself. The silence was…  
…Disconcerting.  
I knew where Steve was. He hadn’t left. Not really. He just went for a run like he always does every morning. He was coming back. He’ll always come back.  
But the silence was deafening. Thoughts swirled in my head, almost making me dizzy as they started to race. I closed my eyes hoping it would make the thoughts go away.  
It only made it worse.  
“Tell me who you are.”  
“I told you, I’m no one important.”  
A scream tore through the air, tore through my lungs as I started burning from the inside out. My bones screamed in agony, my skin began to peel off. I felt like I was dying.  
I wanted to die.  
Death would bring peace, no more pain.  
Be he was not merciful.  
He healed me before the pain could kill me. I was breathing hard, the pain still a sharp memory all over. I didn’t know how much longer he would keep this up. How much longer I could stand before my body would give out permanently.  
“You ready to tell me the truth.”  
I lifted my head and glared at my captive. “What makes you think I’m anyone but who I say I am.”  
He smiled a cruel smile, “Who says I don’t already know and just want to hear you scream it.”  
I looked at him dumbfounded. “You know?”  
He seemed happy to have caught me off guard, to have tricked me into being tortured until I finally caught on to the fact that he knew.  
“Of course, I do. I know exactly who you are, Trickster. Everyone knows who you are. After your spat with your brother-“  
I cut him off without thinking, so used to correcting everyone as of late that it automatically spilled from my lips, “He’s not my brother.”  
He glared at me and without saying another word, he started the fire in my bones yet again.  
As the memories swirled around me, keeping me trapped in my head, I felt my magic swell the way it couldn’t back then. It gathered and built moving around inside me wanting release until I couldn’t hold it anymore.  
I lost control of my magic as a scream tore from my lips and rang through the apartment.  
I could hear things shatter, explode, and fall from their places on shelves. I knew it was because of the power that released from me, but I didn’t care. Voices still rang clear through my head.  
Hands grabbed at me and I thrashed in their grasp, trying to get away. I put my hands on their arms as they held my waist and I let my palms heat up until they pulled away with a cry.  
“Loki, wake up, please,” a familiar voice broke through the haze of old memories. It didn’t fit in. “Loki, please. It’s me, Steve.”  
Steve.  
Slowly, the memories started receding and the voices became quiet. I blinked my eyes open and stared into worried blue eyes. I sat up slowly and looked around the room. Everything was out of place, most of it was on the floor and a few was smoking. All the pictures that was on the walls were now on the floor, their frames shattered. Nothing was safe from the blast of magic that I let out. Not even the bed. The frame was broken, half the mattress was now on the floor and wood splinters were strewn about the room.  
I looked back to Steve and looked down at his arms where two burn makes were starting to swell.  
A hand flew to my mouth as I looked at my captain. “I am so-“  
“Don’t even say it,” he cut me off. “It’s not your fault. It was mine. I shouldn’t have grabbed you when I knew you were in distress.”  
I looked down at my hands and shook my head, “I don’t even know what happened.”  
Steve nodded and started running his fingers through my hair. “It’s okay, Kitten. It happens. I’ve seen soldiers with shell shock, or PTSD as its now called, freak out and not understand why they did it or what they did. I’ve even gone through it myself after coming back from the ice. I didn’t even want to go to sleep because I was afraid I would miss another seventy years.”  
I listened to the captain talk and leaned into his touch as he continued to run his fingers through my hair, seeking comfort. Just hearing his voice was making me feel better and I didn’t want him to stop talking.  
“There, you’ve stopped shaking. That’s good.”  
I looked down at my hands, unaware I was even shaking, and saw I was shaking only slightly now. I looked up at Steve again who smiled kindly at me, trying to sooth me.  
Once I was calmed down enough, Steve got on the bed beside me, never stopping from running his fingers through my hair.  
“Will you tell me what that was about? Was it because I wasn’t here? Or a bad dream?”  
I shook my head. “Neither. It was the silence. It just… It reminded me of my fall through space, through the Nothing. Which then, just brought about other memories that I just… I try not to remember.”  
Steve nodded, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know the silence would bother you so much.”  
I shook my head again, my body feeling numb. “It doesn’t normally. I don’t really know why it bothered me today.”  
“You sure?” Steve asked, wanting to make sure everything was fine.  
I nodded, “I’m sure. Silence only bothers me only occasionally. I never know when it’s going to come on.”  
That captain nodded, “That’s how PTSD works, Kitten, anything can trigger it and you never know when it’s going to affect you.”  
I shrugged and looked down at my hands again which were now clasped in my lap. “I’ll make sure to clean up the room.”  
Steve shook his head and stood up, “Don’t worry about it, love. I’ll take care of it. You just lay back and relax. I’ll take care of it.”  
I nodded and laid back down. “I’m really sorry. Anything that broke I’ll fix.”  
Steve shook his head again as he started picking up the room. “Its fine. Nothing that broke can’t be replaced.”  
“Are your drawing okay?” I asked, hoping I didn’t destroy his beautiful artwork.  
Steve bent down to look at the drawings that had fallen off the walls. “They look fine, so no need to worry about it. Even if they did get ruined, it’s not like I can’t redo them.”  
“I know, but you must have worked so hard on them to get them perfect.”  
Steve shook his head as he separated the broken stuff from the things that weren’t broken of salvageable. “I’ve been meaning to redo them anyways. They weren’t really my best work. But it’s fine, they didn’t get ruined so I can put off redoing them for a bit longer.”  
For a while, we were silent. They only noise coming from Steve moving things around, but the longer we remained in silence the more I remembered.  
“Steve?” I said before the memories could return.  
Steve stopped what he was doing and looked at me, “You okay?”  
I shook my head as I brought my knees to my chest, “Can you talk or something. Put some kind of noise on so I don’t remember?”  
He nodded as he looked around the room trying to figure out what to do to fill the silence. He smiled at me before quickly leaving the room. When he returned he was carrying a radio with a CD player.  
“How about some music?”  
I smiled and nodded, “Anything. Maybe something with a good beat?”  
Steve went over to his nightstand and opened the cupboard underneath it and pulling out his CD collection. “Tony bought some of these for me this way he could ‘educate’ me on modern day music.” Steve rolled his eyes as he looked through the CDs.  
I nodded and watched the captain, curious as he looked between the CDs trying to figure out what to put on. Finally, he settled on a CD and took it out of its case before putting the CD in the CD player and pressing play.  
It was just a simple jazz tune with no vocals, just the instruments.  
“I hope you don’t mind jazz, but it can be soothing.”  
I nodded and smiled at him. “I don’t mind. It’s perfect.”  
He nodded and went back to cleaning the room. It didn’t take long after that, and once he was done I bekond him over.  
“What?” he asked as he sat on the bed beside me.  
I gently took his burnt arm in my hands and examined the wounds.  
“Don’t worry about those. I’m fine. They’ll heal,” Steve said as he tried to pull his arm back.  
My grip on his arm tightened and I glared at him. “Let me look at them. It is my fault they are there. I can at least speed up the healing.”  
“I already heal fast though,” Steve said jokingly.  
I ignored him and looked at the burn marks. The skin was swollen and a few small blisters had formed but nothing to severe. If I had done that to a regular Midgardian, it would have caused more damaging injuries. However, in the captain’s special circumstance he simply had a small burn.  
I bit my lower lip and place my hand carefully over the wounds so as not to hurt the captain. I focused my power through my hands and into Steve’s arm, helping the wound to close and heal completely. When I pulled my hand away, all that was left was just irritated skin.  
I looked up at the captain and nodded, “See, that wasn’t so bad.”  
The captain smiled and leaned forward to kiss my lips. “I knew it wasn’t going to be bad. I just didn’t want you to worry about a small burn.”  
I glared at the super soldier, “You realize that that should have done a lot of damage? It was meant to severely injure my attacker.”  
“Except I wasn’t your attacker.”  
I shrugged, “It doesn’t matter what your intentions were, I was unaware as to who you were. To me, you were an attacker and so I tried to fend you off the only way I could in that moment.”  
“But could you have exhausted yourself when you had that blast of magic?” Steve ask curiously.  
I shrugged again, “I could have, but I was putting my energy into trying to hurt you.”  
Steve nodded as he thought about what I told him. “Well, for some reason it didn’t do much damage so we don’t need to worry about it.”  
I couldn’t understand how the captain could be so optimistic. I told him that I should have hurt him more, yet he seemed okay by it. To me it was a bit disconcerting. It was something I should figure out, and possibly on my own.  
Steve kissed my cheek, startling me out of my thoughts, and stood up. “I’m gonna go make breakfast. You stay here and we can have breakfast in bed. Sound okay?”  
“No,” I said and climbed out of bed, “it’s not. You are going to take a shower and I am going to cook breakfast.”  
Steve smiled and took my hand, pulling me close to him and started swaying to the music. “I think I’ve got a bit of a problem with that plan myself.”  
I smiled as he began to spin me around. “Oh, and what is that?”  
He pulled me close to him again and wrapped his arms around my waist. “You should be joining me in the shower.”  
I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck before pulling him close as if I was going to kiss him but stopped just before our mouths connected. “Oh, really now?”  
“Mhm,” Steve hummed as he tried to steal a kiss.  
I pulled away from him and walked around him heading towards the door. “And what makes you think I’m going to come with you?”  
Arms wrapped around my waist again and I was lifted up and thrown over the captain’s shoulder. “I think this will do.”  
“Steve Rogers, you put me down right this second,” I yelled and laughed as he carried me to the bathroom.  
“Sorry, no can do. I rather like this view.  
When he finally set me down, he went to turn on the shower. I crossed my arms and watched him strip out of his clothes. When he was only in his boxers, he stopped and looked at me, his thumbs in the elastic waist band.  
“What?”  
“Did you really just carry me in here to take a shower with you?” I asked even though the answer was obvious.  
He shrugged and smiled at me, “Why not? Better than leaving you alone to your thoughts and having you destroy the room again.”  
I nodded and looked down at the floor. I didn’t feel guilty about it because I understood I had no control over it. I knew that the moment I lost control over my magic. I did, however, feel bad about it. I made a mess of the room and Steve was the one to pick up the mess and was now trying to take care of me to make sure I was okay. He was too good to me, for me. He deserved so much better than me.  
I wasn’t good enough.  
I would never be good enough.  
I was never good enough before.  
I couldn’t even get my own father to love me.  
I was a monster.  
That’s all I’d ever be.  
Everyone was right not to love or trust me. So, I couldn’t understand how this man, this amazing, kind, generous, righteous man, could trust me. Or even love me.  
No, he couldn’t love me.  
In the end, he’d only windup hurt.  
I can’t get attached.  
I can’t.  
A finger was under my chin, lifting my head up so I would be looking into kind blue eyes. Blue eyes so bright and deep I just wanted to dive in and swim. His eyes mesmerized me for a moment before his words registered in my head.  
“You know I was joking, right, Kitten?”  
I quickly nodded, wanting to assuage his guilt that was in his eyes. “Oh, of course I do, Darling.”  
He nodded, “You sure?”  
“Yes, Darling. I’m not bothered by your words you are most likely right either way. On a good day, I would only destroy the apartment and not the world.” Without meaning it, I heard the bitterness in my voice making it sound like I was stung by his words.  
His eyebrows came together in confusion as he watched me. “What is wrong, Loki?”  
I shook my head and gestured to the shower. “Don’t worry about it, Darling. What you should be worried about is the water running. Why don’t we take a shower before we run out of hot water?”  
Steve stood there looking at me for a moment before nodding. “Alright, but you still need to undress before you can take a shower.”  
I laughed as I realized he was right. I was still dressed. That changed as I quickly pulled my pants off and I stood naked in front of the captain. “I believe it is now your turn, Darling.”  
He smiled and stripped out of his boxers and then climbed into the shower. I followed in after him, wrapping my arms around his waist while he adjusted the water temperature. I kissed his shoulder before he turned in my arms and stole the kiss I had denied him earlier.  
“I really was joking, Loki. What happened wasn’t your fault.”  
I nodded and pulled away from him as I stepped into the stream of water. “I know it wasn’t, Steve. I know I lost control. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.”  
“A lot had been going on for you. It’s not your fault. You’re still trying to adjust. I have an idea though.”  
I looked at him skeptically, “Oh?”  
He smiled and pulled me to him. “Mhm, I think you need to get out for a bit and I was think we could go over to Stark Tower and have dinner with Tony and Bruce.”  
“I thought Tony didn’t want me anywhere near his tower.”  
Steve shrugged, “He doesn’t, but I’ll convince him.”  
“And what about Bruce? I know he’s uncomfortable around me.”  
“True, but don’t worry. I’ll talk to them both. That is if you want to go have dinner with them.”  
He sounded and looked so hopeful when he said that that I found I couldn’t say no. “Alright, fine. But only if they both agree. Not just Tony, but Bruce as well.”  
The smile he gave me lit up his face, making my heart contract at the sight. It was a feeling I was unused to feeling. It was something I had thought I long ago gave up on, thinking my heart had finally grown cold and I could never feel anything for anyone else again. I wanted to conceal this feeling. I wanted to destroy it. I could not let my fondness for the captain grow more than it already had, otherwise we both would end up hurt.  
After we had decided that we would join Stark and Banner for dinner, we finished our shower as the water began to turn cold and got out.

After breakfast, Steve called Tony to talk to him about dinner.  
“I know what you said, Tony, but he need to go out.” Steve paused as he listened to Tony’s reply. “Come on, Tony, you like him and don’t deny it.”  
Steve looked at me and smiled as he rolled his eyes.  
“I promise he’ll behave himself. He won’t mess with any of your stuff. Okay, fine, we can do that if it makes you feel better, but you’re paying.”  
He hung up the phone and smiled, “We’ll be going out to dinner with Bruce and Tony.”  
“Go out to eat?” I asked.  
He nodded, “Yeah, Tony still feel uncomfortable with you going to the tower. Either way though, at least we will get out of here for a bit.”  
“I doubt he will ever be comfortable with me going into the tower.”  
“All he needs is to get to know you better and he’ll be fine.”  
“He can get to know me all he wants but that doesn’t mean he’s going to trust me in his tower or anywhere near his stuff.”  
Steve sight and shrugged. “It will just take a while, but I’m sure he’ll start trusting you.”  
“If he was smart, he wouldn’t trust me, and from what I know of him he is quite smart.”  
Steve looked at me with a strange expression on his face. “Does that make me a fool for trusting you?”  
I looked at the captain confused only for a moment before understanding that my words had stung him. “Yes, you are. You are probably the biggest fool out of them all because you don’t just trust me, you love me.”  
It wasn’t until the smile grew on Steve’s face, practically lighting up the room that I realized what I said. Before I could take back by words, however, Steve’s hand was already over my mouth to keep me from speaking.  
“So, you admit that I love you?”  
I mumbled against his hand while rolling my eyes. After a second he realized I couldn’t talk with his hand over my mouth and so he removed it. I licked my lips and said, “I admit nothing.”  
“Ah, but you just did. You said I was a fool for loving you. Which means that you admit that I do.”  
I shook my head and tried to rephrase what I had orginally said, “What I meant was that you think you love me, not that you do. There is a difference.”  
Steve turned around and started to wash dishes. “That’s not what you aid. So I get to take this as a victory.  
I groaned in frustration and went over to help with the dishes. He wasn’t the fool. I was. For some reason when I am with him, I lose myself. All these walls that I’ve built so high to keep people out is crumbling and if I don’t do something to fix that soon I am going to shatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back from vacation and so I should be getting back to updating. I'm going to try and keep the updates regularly. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki invite someone to dinner without informing Steve about it.

It was just after 7 at night and the two lovers were getting ready to go have dinner with Tony and Bruce. It didn’t take Steve long to get ready as he just put on jean and a blue button up shirt. Loki, however, was going as a female and so required more time to get ready. Or at least that’s what she said.  
The goddess was keeping it casual with just a black flowing skirt that stopped just below her knees and a green lowcut blouse. What took her a while was her hair. She was trying her hair into a ponytail and resting the clip under it but it wasn’t cooperating. She groaned in frustration for the fifth time when the super soldier came in.  
“What’s wrong?” he asked as Loki pulled her hair down yet again.  
She growled at her hair as she twisted it up again. “My hair just won’t stay up the way I want it to.”  
Steve watched as Loki tried again before plucking the clip out of her hand. “Let me try. I think I can get it for you.”  
Loki scowled but nodded anyways, letting the captain twist her hair up again. In a matter of moments, Steve managed to get her hair up just the way she wanted it. Her green eyes met his blue ones in the mirror and she smiled.  
“Thanks, Darling. I don’t know how you could do what I was struggling to do, but I appreciate it.”  
Steve shrugged. “I just watched what you did and copied it. It’s not like it’s a complicated knot.”  
She nodded and turned to kiss him on the cheek. “You are right, it’s not.”  
“Are you ready now?” Steve asked thinking she looked beautiful the way she looked.  
The goddess smiled, “Indeed, I am.”  
“Alright then,” Steve replied as he left the bathroom and went to grab his jacket and keys, “let’s go.”  
Loki followed him to the living room and slipped on her sandals and grabbed her jacket.  
Steve locked the door as they left the apartment. Once on the street, Steve and Loki got onto Steve’s motorcycle and went to meet up with the guys for dinner.

They arrived at the restaurant, that Tony had instructed them to go to and parked the bike.  
“Fancy,” Loki said as she looked around the restaurant.  
She was right. The place was a bit fancy, but not overly so that they looked out of place in their semi casual clothes. Waiters wore all black and had white aprons tied around their waists as they glided through the room with food.  
Before Steve and Loki made it to the front to be seated. Someone tapped Steve on the shoulder. When Steve turned, he saw Tony and Bruce standing behind them.  
“Come on, Spangles. We don’t have to wait in line. We are important,” Tony says as he starts moving through the restaurant.  
Steve and Bruce exchanged a look with each other before following Tony. As the billionaire walked by, people would wave, smile, or greet him. He was completely in his element.  
Surprisingly, Loki was doing the same. She was waving at people, and sending flirtatious smiled at anyone who saw her. People would smile and wave back to her as well as if they knew her.  
“You seem,” Steve said as he searched for the word.  
“Like she’s familiar with her surroundings?” Bruce put in.  
Steve nodded, “Yeah, that.”  
Loki smiled, “I’m not familiar with my surrounding, I am familiar with these kinds of people. The act, the air of wealth. Remember, dears, I once was a prince. People like this are the same no matter what realm you are from.”  
Steve and Bruce nodded, pretending like they understood even though they didn’t. When they got to the table, Tony sat down in a chair and leaned back in it, it’s front legs coming up off the ground. Once they were all seated, Tony smiled at the two lovers.  
“So, how have you two been doing? Still fucking like crazy?”  
Bruce shot Tony a look before looking at Steve apologetically. “Don’t mind him. He’s just being an ass like usual.”  
“Of course, he is, he doesn’t know how to be anything else,” Steve laughed.  
Tony rolled his eyes at the two before locking eyes with Loki. “So, Reindeer Games, cause any mischief.”  
A waiter came and brought them all a glass of water before saying that they’ll be back for their orders when they were ready.  
Loki took a sip from her drink before smiling, “Now, Stark, if I were to say I was, you know I’d get into some trouble.”  
Steve glanced at Loki curiously. “Have you? Been getting into trouble, I mean?”  
Loki looked innocently at the captain, “Whatever do you mean, Darling?”  
“I know that look, what have you been up to?”  
She took another sip from her water before answering. “You’ll just have to wait and see, Darling. But do not worry, it will all be worth it.”  
Steve and Bruce share another look before a thought crossed Steve’s mind. “Wait, this is the first time you two have been near each other since the battle. How are you handling that, Bruce?”  
Now it made sense as to why Bruce looked more nervous than he normally does. Bruce shrugged as he glanced over at Loki, “Not as bad as I think I would be alone. With you guys here, it kind of helps, but only kind of.”  
Loki nodded her understanding before saying to the nervous man, “I understand this must be uncomfortable for you, Dr. Banner, but I wish to relay to you my deepest regrets. I know nothing I say or do could ever make up for anything I have done, but if you would let me, I would endeavor to try.”  
Bruce nodded and fidgeted in his seat. He seemed uncomfortable with the situation as he looked anywhere but at Loki. “You’re right, nothing could make up for what you have done.” The gamma ray scientist looked at Steve and sighed. “However, if you really mean it, I guess you can try, though I doubt it’ll change anything.”  
The goddess nodded and took a sip of her water, “Very well then, it is decided.” Now that was taken care of, Loki turned to the man of iron and asked, “Have the two spies returned from their trip?”  
Tony shot Loki a knowing smile before replying, “Of course they have. I keep trying to talk Spangles into talking with him but he keeps blowing me off.”  
Steve frowned as he shook his head, he hadn’t been blowing him off he just didn’t know what to say to them. Once he could figure out how to tell them about Loki, then he would be willing to talk to them. For now, it was something that he had to figure out first. They needed a leader that they could trust, and if Steve didn’t go about this the right way, they could lose all faith in him.  
Tony looked at the captain and smiled, “Don’t worry, Capsicle, it’ll go fine.”  
Steve furrowed his brow in confusion as he looked at his friend. “What?”  
“Um,” Bruce began as he was looking towards the entrance of the restaurant, “Tony, what did you do?”  
Tony raised his hands in defense and replied, “Don’t look at me. It wasn’t my idea.”  
“Yeah, but you went along with it.”  
The billionaire shrugged, “What can I say, it was a good plan.”  
The captain looked between his two friends in confusion before he heard a familiar voice speak.  
“Hey, guys, long time no see.”  
Steve turned and saw Clint and Natasha joining them at the table, taking up the two empty seats that the blond hadn’t noticed before.  
Natasha looked at Loki and asked, “Who are you?”  
Loki smiled pleasantly and introduced herself, “That is a discussion for later. For now, however, you may call me Lady Ariana.”  
“Lady?” Clint asked confused.  
Loki hummed and looked towards Steve. “Surprise.”  
Anger began building up in Steve’s just but he refrained from reacting, instead he gritted his teeth and glared at the goddess. “This was you’re doing?”  
The fallen princess nodded and bit her lip, “I thought you might enjoy seeing your friends, Darling. It has been a while since you’ve last seen them. I know how much you’ve missed them.”  
“Besides, Spangles, it was time to get the team back together and get caught up on everything,” Tony said, enunciating the last word to make it clear to the captain that before the end of dinner everyone would know.  
“Are we intruding?” Clint asked a smirk on his face.  
“Yes,” Steve said just as Loki and Tony replied, “No.”  
Natasha gave a short chuckle and looked between the group, “Well, what is it? Yes or no?”  
“Why do I get the feeling that we weren’t invited?” Clint asked looking at the red head.  
Tony laughed and waved a server over, “Don’t mind, Capsicle, he’s just got a lot that we need to discuss on. But before we get to that let’s order some food.”  
Everyone agreed and each ordered their food, Loki having some assistance from Steve as she was unsure as to what everything was.  
After food was ordered Tony and Bruce began asking Natasha and Clint about their mission while Steve grasped Loki’s hand underneath the table and leaned over to whisper in her ear, “Did you seriously plan this?”  
Loki smiled and turned to look innocently at her captain. “Would you be mad if I said I did?”  
“Depends on why you did it.”  
“Oh?” Loki asked as she picked up her glass to take a sip of her water, “So depending on how I defend myself will determine my punishment, correct?”  
Steve blushed and nodded. “You didn’t need to word it like that, but yes, that is correct.”  
Loki chuckled softly and looked at her lover, her green eyes shining with mischief yet an innocent smile still rested on her face. “I knew how much you missed being with your friends. All you’ve been doing lately is taking care of me, surprising me with a visit from my family and wanting me, I felt you needed to be with your family. So, this is my family surprise for you.”  
Steve shook his head and gently squeezed her hand. “Whether or not that is true, I appreciate you doing this for me, Kitten.”  
“Of course, Darling. Anything for you.”  
“Hey, lovebirds, you done whispering over there?” Tony asked with a smirk on his face.  
Steve shot him a glare before pulling away from Loki to talk to his two friends. “So how was the trip?”  
Natasha smirked while Clint rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Apparently you weren’t listening.”  
“I told you,” Tasha said as she held out her hand. “Pay up, Barton.”  
Clint grumbled as he pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and placed it in Tasha’s upturned palm.   
Before the two spies could say anything to Steve about their trip, their food came and they all started eating.  
The captain watched Loki closely as she tried her chicken Caesar salad. She chewed thoughtfully before looking at the captain and smiling. She liked the food choice which made Steve relax a bit. He was still trying to prove to her that food from Earth was just as good as food from Asgard, so any that passed her judgement was a win.  
Tasha was watching the exchange curiously. It seemed just a bit odd to her that someone had never tried a salad before.  
“So, Ariana, was it?” Tasha asked in between fork fulls of her pasta.  
Loki looked up at the spy before smiling, “Yes, it is.”  
Tasha nodded before asking, “Where are you from, exactly?”  
Loki shrugged. “Here and there.”  
“You sound British,” Clint pointed out, his mouth full of stake.  
Tasha elbowed him and rolled her eyes, “Don’t speak with your mouth full, Barton.”  
Clint smirked and went to reply but stopped when he caught a glare from Natasha. “Alright, fine. Either way, she still sounds British.”  
Loki nodded and shrugged, “I’m from all over, truthfully. I’ve never liked staying in one place for too long.”  
Natasha nodded, taking a mental note of that information. “So, where are you currently living?”  
“Oh, I’m currently living in the captain’s guest bedroom. You could say he’s my prison guard,” Loki said with a small laugh at her own joke.  
Natasha raised an eyebrow and looked at the captain before looking back at Loki. “What do you mean by that?”  
Loki glanced over at the captain and smiled, “I was assigned to live with the captain after I was arrested.”  
Clint looked confused and asked, “You were arrested?”  
Loki nodded and took another bite of her salad.  
“For what?” Tasha asked curiously.  
Loki shrugged, “Destruction of property, you could say.”  
“So why were you assigned to live with the captain?”  
“Simple, because I am dangerous, and who better to watch over a dangerous criminal than the man of justice.”  
Steve rolled his eyes and said, “I’m not the man of justice. Actually, it was because I was the only one willing to house her.”  
“Yeah,” Tony chimed in, “they asked me first but I didn’t want her anywhere near my suits. I would have thought Capsicle would agree with me, but for some messed up reason he chose to house her.”  
“I believe everyone deserves a second chance. I mean, look at all of us, we all were given a second chance, why not her?”  
Loki smiled and gently patted the captain’s hand. “Whatever his reason as to why he chose to take me in, I have been grateful that he did so. I don’t know where I would be if he didn’t allow me to live with him. Under certain conditions of course.”  
“Of course,” Natasha said. Steve could see the information turning in her mind and it was making him nervous. If Loki kept talking she was going to blow her cover.  
Unless that was her intention.  
“Anyways, I’ve been assigned to community service but as it happens I have been banned from the last place I went to work.”  
“Why’s that?” Clint asked.  
“Yeah, why is that?” Tony asked curiously. “Spangles never really told us what happened at the construction site.  
“Depending on how you look at it, I was either attacked or I was provoked.”  
Steve shook his head, “She was attacked and provoked. She found out that one of the leaders of the groups was sexually harassing the girls there and was stalking and threatening them and so she decided to get involved. Basically, in the end he tried to attack her and she…well...” He trailed off and looked away.  
Loki smiled, “I threw him through a wall.”  
“You what?” Tony asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise.  
She nodded, “Yep. A brick wall, too. I think I let him off easy if you ask me.”  
“Well, you being who you are, it is letting him off easy.” Tony laughed as he rocked back in his chair.  
Steve shook his head, “Whether you think you went lenient on him, you still sent him through a brick wall. You shouldn’t have done that.”  
Loki looked at Steve and her green eyes flashed with anger. “Oh? And pray tell me, Captain, what should I have done? Wait for the next woman to be attacked so that he can threaten their children so they can’t go to the police?”  
“That’s not what I’m saying.”  
“Then what is it you are saying? That instead of throwing him off me when he grabbed my chest I should just have yelled for help and hope and pray that my dear captain would save me? Sorry to inform you, Captain, I am not a damsel in distress. I do not need you saving me. I am capable of taking care of myself.”  
Steve put his face in his hands and sighed, “Can we please not discuss this here?”  
“Why not? Because you’re afraid that your friends will figure out-“  
Steve stood up and looked down at the goddess, “If you keep talking they will. This was your plan the whole time, wasn’t.”  
The fallen princess leaned back in her chair and looked up at the super soldier. Neither moved, neither said a word. Neither one was willing to break first.  
“Sorry to bother your staring contest, but your kind of making a scene,” Tony said as he waved at the onlookers.  
Steve broke eye contact and looked around; Tony was right, they were making a scene. People were staring between the super soldier and the fallen princess. He sighed and sat back down in his seat and shook his head. “Sorry, this isn’t a conversation meant to take place in public.” Steve looked at his friends sheepishly, “Sorry, guys.”  
Natasha crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair while Clint looked between Steve and Loki confused.  
“Alright,” Clint finally spoke up, “can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?”  
Tony and Bruce both looked to Steve encouraging him to finally tell them.  
Steve took a deep breath and rested his arms on the table, preparing himself to lose two of his friends and teammates. “Okay, fine. I’ll tell you. But first, promise to hear me out. Neither of you are going to like what I have to say but before you start yelling at me, please hear me out completely.”  
They nodded. “Sure, Cap, now can you just tell us?”  
Steve looked to Tony who nodded at him and he sighed. “Loki isn’t on Asgard.”  
“What!” Clint yelled, standing up quickly and his chair flying backwards. “What do you mean he’s not on Asgard? Where the hell is he?”  
“Clint, please, you promised not to freak out until I finished,” Steve said pleadingly.  
“How can I not freak out, Cap! Loki isn’t on Asgard, so where the hell is he?”  
“If you would sit down, I will tell you. Please, Clint?” The captain asked.  
Natasha put her hand on Clint’s arm and waited for him to sit down and when he did she nodded at Steve to continue.  
“Anyways, Loki was banished from Asgard and stripped of all his titles. When the sentence was determined, it was given to Thor to choose a place for Loki to go to serve out the rest of his life.”  
Tony spoke up then and looked at the two spies, “Naturally, he came to me to see if I would house his crazy brother but with Bruce living with me and all my suits, I turned him down.”  
Steve nodded and started fidgeting in his seat. “So, he came to me. He had decided that Loki should spend his life on Earth to make up for his crimes, give back to what he had taken. However, to keep Loki here on Earth, he had to stay with someone as we couldn’t have him running around on his own.”  
Clint buried his face in his heads and groaned, “Please don’t tell me you did what I think you did.”  
Steve took a deep breath and nodded. “When Thor asked me to take his brother in, I told him I would.”  
“How could you let him to live with you?” Clint asked, lifting his head up to glare at the captain.  
“Let me explain, please. At first, I was reluctant, but then I realized that if he was being watched by one of us he couldn’t do any damage. On top of that, he deserved a second chance to make up for what he had done. All of us were given a second chance, why couldn’t he.”  
“Because,” Clint exclaimed, “he’s a murderer! Do you not remember what he did, Cap? Do you not remember what he did to me?”  
“I do remember, Clint. I remember it all. But Natasha deserved a second chance after all the people she killed, didn’t she?”  
“That was different and you know it! She had no choice!”  
“Everyone has a choice, Clint, and we don’t know Loki’s. We don’t know the whole story. As far as we know, he didn’t have a choice.”  
Clint stood up again and leaned against the table, “I can’t believe this! I can’t believe that you would do this, Cap!”  
Loki sighed and gave a small flick of her wrist, sending the chair forward, hitting Clint behind the knees and forcing him to sit down. “You said you would wait until the captain was done speaking before freaking out.”  
Clint looked over at her furiously before his face drained of all color and emotion. “No.”  
Loki smiled and nodded, “Hello, Clint, nice to see you again.”  
His eyes widen and he went to stand again but Loki’s magic kept his chair from moving. “Let me go!”  
Loki shook her head, “I am sorry but I cannot do that. You promised-“  
Steve grasped Loki’s wrist gently and glared at her, “You are not helping. Knock it off.”  
Loki looked at the captain and sighed, “Honestly, Darling, nothing is going to help.”  
“I don’t care, let him go.”  
With a sigh, Loki flicked her hand again releasing her magic. “As you wish, Darling.”  
Clint stood up quickly and looked between the two before shaking his head, “I gotta go.”  
“Clint,” Steve stood up and tried to stop him but Loki grabbed his hand.  
“Let him go. He needs to figure things out of his own. Besides, I’m sure Natasha will take care of him.”  
She was right. As Clint left the restaurant, Natasha got up and followed him out. Steve sighed and sat back down and shook his head. “This is all your guy’s fault.”  
“Hey,” Bruce, who had been silent until now, said, “leave me out of it. I didn’t know they were doing this.”  
Tony shrugged and took a drink from his glass. “You had to tell them sometime, Spangles. You weren’t in that much of a rush to tell them and it was better they hear it from you than learning it from someone else.”  
Steve shook his head, “I know, I know. I just didn’t know how to tell them.”  
“There wasn’t a perfect way to tell them, Darling. No matter how you put it, they were still going to be mad at you.”  
They went silent, all taking in everything that happened. Steve had to figure out a way to keep from losing two of his friends and teammates. There had to be a way to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, sorry that it's been awhile since I last updated. I started school back up again and so I got caught up in work and school. I've been working on this chapter for a month now and so I hope that you don't hate it. I hope not to take forever to update again.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki makes a choice.

We went home in silence. I glanced over at the captain and he just kept staring straight ahead. When we got home, Steve took his jacket off and hung it up before heading to the living room, sitting down on the couch and turned the TV on.  
I kicked off my high heels and went to go sit down on the couch next to him. I curled up beside him with my legs folded underneath me. He was flipping through the channels on the TV before deciding to settle on the baseball game that was playing.  
We sat silence with only the sound in the room is the TV. Finally, the silence was beginning to bother me.  
“Alright, I get it, you’re mad. We should have told you, but we knew you wouldn’t agree. You needed the push.”  
He shook his head and shrugged, “I’m not mad.”  
“Then what are you? You won’t speak to me, and you’re being quite cold.”  
“I’m not mad,” he repeated.  
I stared at him and waited for him to explain some more, but he didn’t. So, I asked again, “If you aren’t mad, then what are you?”  
He turned his blue eyes on me, anger burning deep inside them as he snapped, “I’m pissed.”  
I cringed at his tone of voice but nodded. “You have every right to be pissed.”  
“Every right? Loki, you went behind my back and invited two of my friends to join us for dinner knowing that they had yet to learn of you being here. Do you not understand what you have just done?”  
I nodded, “Yes, I do. I understand that I hurt you and-“  
“Hurt?” he scowled at me which made me flinch away from him again. “You may have just cost me two of my friends, my team mates.”  
“They’ll come around, you’ll see.”  
“And if they don’t? How can we be a team if we can’t trust each other? Do you really think Natasha and Clint are going to forgive me now that you pulled this stunt? They are going to see that I didn’t want to tell them as I didn’t invite them and wasn’t too pleased that you started taunting me into telling them. They are going to feel like I disrespected them because I had you there while I told them!”  
“I don’t think they’ll see it like that,” I said.  
“Of course, you wouldn’t. You know, Loki, just because you like being alone and hated, doesn’t mean I do, too.”  
My mouth opened wide in shock and I placed my hand on his forearm to try and ask for forgiveness only for him to pull away from my touch. I recoiled from him, not understanding why he refused my touch, and only a bit worried that he was going to hit me.  
He quickly stood up from the couch turned the TV off and stormed towards his art room, slamming the door behind him.  
I sat still on the couch stunned.  
I made the captain angry. Angrier than I ever had before. It was a mistake to invite the two spies to dinner. Now the captain would leave me. He would no long want me.  
I was to be discarded once again. And for some reason…  
…it hurt.  
I slowly stumbled to my feet and went to our room quietly. I looked around the room before making up my mind.  
I gathered up some of the stuff that I didn’t want to leave behind, changed into my armor and disappeared.

I sat in a cave that rested along a mountain side, using a shield as a door to the outside so nothing or no one could come in. A fire crackled in the middle of the floor with a squirrel floating over it, cooking it slowly. I scowled as I watched the dead rodent rotate over the flickering fire. I was banished to Midgard and could not leave. I was meant to be watched over by the captain but he was angry and therefore he would no longer want me.  
The thought of my dear captain made my heart clench and I gasped. I was unused to these feelings.  
I would never be able to face him again.  
He said he loved me.  
He never loved you.  
I flinched at the words that flowed through my head, hissing and menacing.  
He lied to you. All he wanted was to make you docile, to make you bend to his will. He never loved you. Who could ever love a monster like you? All you do is destroy things.  
I put my hands over my ears trying to block out the noise but to no use. They voice was in my head, not outside.  
You will always be the monster, the castout, the unloved. You are unlovable, Loki. You are too damaged to love.  
I shook my head and whispered, “Shut up.”  
You know it’s true. You know what you need to do, Loki, to make yourself whole once again.  
“Nothing will make me whole again.”  
Come now, don’t say that. You know the way. You just have to be strong enough to take it.  
I looked up at the fire, the rodent having been burned and unedible now, as I tried to fight the voice inside me.  
To no use.  
I knew, in the end, it would win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this was a short chapter, but for what I'm planning on doing I couldn't keep it in Loki's POV for too long. For the next few chapters you'll only hear from Steve.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finds Loki Missing.

Steve stood in the bedroom staring at the note that had been left on his bed. After calming down he had gone to find Loki to apologize for his harsh words but to no use. He couldn’t find him. When he finally checked their bedroom, he found the note that the god had left for him:

My Dear Captain,  
I deeply regret my actions and choices of this night that has passed. Yet, at the same time I could not truly regret the decisions I made, for I made them in a way I thought was right. I felt that by inviting your friends to dinner with all of us would make you feel more comfortable to tell them what was going on.  
I was wrong.  
Or at least in your eyes I was wrong.  
I felt you needed the push otherwise you would continue to hide the truth from your friends.  
However, I guess I shall admit that I did it out of pure selfishness. I did not wish to remain a secret. I did not wish to continue hiding. I am not a creature that enjoys hiding in the shadows, hidden away from the world. I feel confined.  
Perhaps I could have told you my feelings, but I could not bring myself to tell you this. For at the same time I liked having you all to myself. If I told you all of this, would you really have understood what I meant? What I felt?  
Though, you were right about one thing, Captain, I do like being alone. I’ve been alone my whole life, even when I had Thor. He never understood. Either way, being alone isn’t new to me, and though I do not like hiding, I know where to go without being found. Between caves and cold places, places that are deserted and no one is around to see me.  
You say you love me, Captain, and I told you it was a lie. I can see now that was exactly what it was. A lie.  
Never forget, My Darling Captain, I am the lie smith. You cannot lie to me.  
I’ve decided to leave you, Captain, before you decide to leave me. You have broken some of the walls that I have spent centuries trying to build up, to keep people out of my heart. I will never make that mistake again. You have taught me a lot since my brief time with you. I will never forget it because it taught me to never open my heart again.  
I had hoped you were different, Captain, but apparently you are not. You swore you would fight for us, yet you fought against us. You pushed me away.  
Very well.  
I will leave.  
Goodbye, Darling Captain.  
Loki.

Steve sat down on the bed as he looked through the note once again. He was left confused and bothered by this. Why did Loki leave? It was clearly stated in the letter why he left but he still couldn’t grasp it.  
Loki was gone.  
He had left.  
Spurred into action, Steve stood up from the bed and quickly dialed Tony’s number and impatiently waiting for the billionaire to answer.  
“Hey, Capsicle, surprised to hear from you so soon. I thought-“  
Steve quickly cut him off by saying, “Loki’s gone.”  
The line went silent for a moment before Tony’s response came through again, “You mean he went out for a walk and didn’t tell you?”  
The captain shook his head even though he knew that the other couldn’t see him. “No, I mean he’s gone. He left me a note and everything. He left, Tony. He’s not coming back. God, I really screwed up.”  
Murmuring could be heard coming from the other end of the line before he said, “Sit tight, we’re on our way.”  
There was a click signaling the phone being hung up.  
He threw his phone onto his bed and stood up, pacing the room as he continued to hold the letter in his hand. Finally, he couldn’t take being in the bedroom anymore, so he went to the living room and began pacing there.  
Twenty minutes later he heard a knock on the door before both Tony and Bruce walked through his door. Without saying a word, Steve handed over the letter to Tony before finally sinking down onto the couch and putting his face in his hands.  
“I was too hard on him after we got back. I said some harsh things and he left. I almost had him believing I truly loved him but after that one fight… He’ll never believe me again. He’s always thought he was unlovable and to him I just made that more true.”  
Bruce sat down on the couch next to Steve and sighed, “We’ll find him, Steve, don’t worry.”  
“He’ll never trust me again.”  
Tony handed the letter over to Bruce for him to read. “I guess I just don’t understand. What made him leave, Cap?”  
Steve’s shoulders slumped, and he sighed. “I was…pretty hard on him after we got home. I said somethings that I shouldn’t have said. But I was… I was just angry. I didn’t mean anything that I had said.”  
Bruce looked at the captain with concerned before saying, “What’s said in anger holds some truth to it.”  
Steve shook his head. “I said the worst thing I could ever say to him.”  
“What was that?”  
“I said the just because he liked to be alone and hated doesn’t mean I like to be as well.”  
“Wow,” Tony said, “that’s a bit harsh, Cap.”  
Steve looked up and shot the billionaire a look, “No shit.”  
Both Bruce and Tony exchanged looks at the curse that the captain used. He had to be either stressed or really freaking out over Loki being gone for him to curse like that.  
“Hey,” Bruce said to his friend, “everything will be okay. We’ll find Loki and you can explain and apologize to him. We’ll get him back.”  
“But how? We don’t even know where to start? How do we even know he’s still on Earth?”  
Tony hummed to himself as he thought the questions through. “Well, he was banished here right?”  
Steve nodded.  
“Then, I would assume that if he left Earth Asgard would know about it. And therefore Thor would be-“  
A knock at the door stopped Tony midsentence. The three looked around at each other before Steve got up and answered the door.  
Thor pushed his way in past Steve and looked around the tiny apartment. “Where is he?”  
“We don’t know,” Steve replied.  
Thor turned to him and glared, “What do you mean you do not know?”  
Bruce handed the letter to Thor, hoping that would help the thunder god to understand what was going on. But it only seemed to confuse him more.  
“What happened to make him run?”  
Steve hung his head as he replied to his friend. “I said something that I probably shouldn’t have said to him. I didn’t mean to say it. I was just…upset.”  
“What did you say to him?”  
Bruce looked up at the thunder god and said calmly, “I don’t think it necessarily matters what Steve said or not. It’s more the matter as to where Loki actually is now.”  
Thor shrugged as he looked around the room at his three friends. “I do not know. Heimdall cannot see him. He alerted us to Loki’s absence most likely as soon as he left here.”  
“So,” Tony began as he started pacing the room, thinking, “we can’t track him and Asgard can’t track him. So how do we find him?”  
Steve sat back down on the couch and groaned, “I don’t know. If he doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be.”  
“I wonder if the letter could give us any clues,” Bruce said as he held his hand out towards Thor for the letter.  
“I doubt it,” Tony said. “All four of us have looked at that letter and there’s nothing in there that stands out.”  
Bruce looked over the letter again before reading out loud, “’Between caves and cold places, places that are deserted and no one is around to see me.’ Maybe that’s a clue as to where he is. Though there are many cold and deserted places that he could hide.”  
Steve sat up straight and looked at the scientist. “Alaska.”  
“What?”  
“Alaska,” the captain repeated as he stood up and looked around the room. “Last time when Thor was here, and he got angry, he went to Alaska. To one of the mountains there. He’s in Alaska, in a cave on a mountain.”  
Tony shook his head in doubt, “I don’t think he would be there, Cap. Maybe he would lead you there to keep you away from where he truly went.”  
Steve shook his head, “No, I know he’s there. We need to go to Alaska.”  
The two scientists exchanged a look before Bruce shrugged, “It’s the only lead we’ve got.”  
“Alright, Cap, it’s your idea. What’s the plan?”  
They began planning the trip to Alaska, finding the more secluded mountains and possible locations that Loki could be hiding. Once they had a set plan, they geared up and headed to Alaska.

Steve had purposely chosen one of the more secluded areas by himself. If he found Loki, he wanted to be alone with him and try to get him to understand. He was checking caves up along the mountain side, but he was pretty sure that Loki would be closer to the top.  
As he climbed to the top of the mountain, checking every cave he came across he was starting to lose faith in his plan.  
“Hey,” he said through the com, “any signs?”  
Tony’s voice crackled through first, “No signs of Reindeer Games over here yet.”  
“Same on this end,” Bruce said.  
“Aye, nothing,” Thor confirmed.  
“Alright, well…keep looking.”  
Steve sighed and continued his search.

An hour into his search, he spotted something not that far up the trail. It was almost like a greenish glimmer along the front of a cave. He started jogging up the trail and went to look inside of the cave, but something kept him from going in.  
“Loki,” he whispered. Loki was here.  
“Loki!” He called into the cave opening. “Loki, I know you’re here.”  
He heard something shuffling around in the cave before Loki appeared in front of him.  
“What do you want, Captain,” he sneered.  
Steve smiled and heaved a breath of relief. “I found you. Thank god. I was really worried.”  
Loki crossed his arms over his chest and looked away from the captain. “Yes, I am fine. You do not have to worry about me. I am in no harm and therefore Thor cannot get angry at you for my disappearance.”  
Steve shook his head, “I’m not worried about Thor. I’m worried about you.”  
Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right.”  
“I’m serious, Loki. I was so worried. You just took off and when I went to go find you-“  
“I left a note. I told you everything you needed to know, Captain. You had no reason to worry and I doubt you actually did worry.”  
Steve took a step towards the fallen prince only to be held back by the force field that Loki had put up. “I was worried, truly worried.”  
“You can stop lying, Captain.”  
“I’m not lying!” Steve pleaded, wanting to get Loki to understand. “Please, just hear me out, let me explain.”  
“There’s nothing to explain, Captain. I know what happened, I was there.”  
“There is something to explain, Loki, please just let me tell you.”  
Loki shook his head, “No, I will not allow you to continue to lie to me.”  
“I’m not lying to you, Loki. I promise.”  
“Your promises mean nothing!” the fallen prince snapped. His body started to shake with anger, green light flashes from his fingertips. “All you do is make promises that you cannot keep. Empty promises. And I am through listening to them. You’ve done enough, Captain. You’ve done enough damage. And I wish to never see you again.”  
Loki turned to walk back into the cave and Steve took a step to try and follow him, even knowing that there was an invisible wall to keep him out.  
Loki quickly turned around, his green eyes flashing with rage, “Leave now, before I do something I would surely not regret.”  
Steve put a hand to the barrier and felt a shock of electricity flow through his body making him stagger backwards. He looked up at the god and said, “Please.”  
“No. Now go. I’m through talking with you.”  
“Loki!” But he was already gone, disappearing into the cave before the captain had anytime to recuperate from the shock. He ran towards the barrier again only to feel another electric wave to flow through him again, knocking him off his balance.  
“Loki!” He kept calling the name, but there wasn’t an answer. There would never be an answer. He had lost him.  
Steve fell to his knees and kept staring through the cave, trying to see the god, trying to get him to come back. To let him in. But it wouldn’t happen. He had lost him.  
He lost his god, his fallen prince, his Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter for me to write, but I hope you guys like it.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki struggles with not wanting to trust Steve, until they both let go.

I leaned against the side of the cave, staring out at the captain who hadn’t moved from his spot since he fell to the ground. I was angry. So angry at him.  
How dare he come here and try to make me a fool.  
There was nothing for him to explain. He said everything that needed to be said back at the apartment. Even if he didn’t mean it, words said in anger still hold some truth. I didn’t want to admit that he hurt me, because he didn’t. He just…angered me. His words were untrue. I didn’t like being alone, I was isolated against my will, yet I had learned to enjoy it. Simply because that isolation made it so I didn’t really know how to interact with others. I learned to become content with solace.  
I looked back at the Captain, who still hadn’t moved. He remained on his knees, looking lost and alone. My heart yearned for him, yearned to go and wrap my arms around him and comfort him.  
No!  
It was all an act. I was unaware with how well of an actor he could be, yet now that I think about it I should have known. Back before the Captain officially joined the war, he was and actor in a way. He did a performance every night for people to sell war bonds and eventually got good at that job. Therefore, it would only make sense that he be an excellent actor. Yet I would never have guessed that he’d be able to fool me.  
I took one last look at the man before turning and walking further into the cave. I needed to get away from him before the sight of him draws me back. His voice followed me as he continued calling my name, but I ignored it. I need to get away from him.  
I got to my makeshift home and could still hear his voice, it was like I couldn’t get away. He was haunting me.  
I shook my head as I laid down on my bed and grabbed one of my books, hoping to block out his calls. When will he stop and just go away!  
I was starting to get frustrated as I couldn’t get absorbed into my book. I growled and stood up before walking to the mouth of the cave.  
The captain was still there on his knees calling for me, and it made my anger boil.  
“Will you knock it off,” I growled.  
He looked up at me before getting to his feet. “I won’t leave until you talk to me.”  
I crossed my arms across my chest and looked away from him, “There’s nothing to talk about. Now just go away.”  
His voice was pleading as he said, “Please, Loki, just let me explain what happened.”  
“There is nothing to explain, Captain, like I said earlier. I know what happened. I know what you said. You chose Clint and Natasha over me and it was foolish of me to think that you would do otherwise. So, I will remove myself from the situation so that you can run to your friends and beg for their forgiveness.”  
“That’s not what happened, Loki. Please, just let me come in so we can discuss this.”  
I shook my head and groaned, “Why won’t you just leave me alone?”  
“Because I love you and I don’t want to lose you.” He sounded so honest, but I knew better.  
“Stop telling lies! You do not love me! You do not care about me! You only pretend to so that you can control me. You only let me stay with you because Thor asked you.”  
“That was at first. It’s different now. I do love you, Loki, please believe me.”  
I gave a short humorless laugh, “Why should I believe you, Captain?”  
He slowly approached the barrier I had put up and placed a hand against it. “Let me come in and talk.”  
The more I stood here talking to him, the more I wanted to let him in. I do not know how he does it, but my heart started to hurt the longer I was away from him. Why was it so hard to keep him out of my head, out of my heart?  
“You fooled me once, Captain, I will not let you do it again.”  
“I never fooled you, Loki. I meant every word I said when I told you I loved you.”  
“All you do is tell lies,” I snapped. “And they call me Silver Tongue.”  
He growled in frustration and looked at me with his piercing blue eyes. “God damnit, Loki!”  
I smirked at him as said, “Such foul language you have, Captain.”  
He hit his fist against the barrier wall, almost as if he was trying to break through. “Loki, please, I’m begging you.”  
I rolled my eyes and leaned up against the cave wall. “Do stop begging, Darling, it is unbecoming of you.”  
Another fist to the wall of my barrier. “Loki, please.”  
I closed my eyes. “Stop.”  
Another. “I won’t stop until you let me talk to you.”  
I shook my head. “No, I can’t.”  
Another. “Loki!”  
I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to block him out. “No.”  
Another. “Please!”  
In that moment, my magic faltered. This time, when his fist met the wall it shattered like glass around him. I opened my eyes, and watched as he started walking towards me. I moved away from the wall and started backing up into the cave, trying to create a new barrier between us. I wasn’t afraid of the captain, but I was afraid of losing myself to him again. My magic wasn’t working because my emotions weren’t stable.  
Quickly, the captain caught me and pulled me into his arms holding me close.  
“Let me go!” I yelled as I tried to pull away from him.  
His grip on me tightened and he buried his face in my nake as he whispered, “I let you go once, I won’t do it again.”  
I closed my eyes and shoved at him, forcing him to release me, and took a step back keeping my hands on his chest.  
“Please, leave.”  
He shook his head as he rested his hands on my hips, pulling me towards him. “I won’t lose you, Loki. I can’t.”  
I looked up at him and shook my head, “You can’t do this, Captain.”  
“Tell me why I can’t. A real reason.”  
“Because you don’t mean it.”  
“And who are you to know what I mean? Do you have any clue as to how I feel about you? Are you in my head? Are you capable of reading my mind and knowing how I truly feel?”  
“No,” I whispered.  
“No, because if you could you’d know exactly what I feel. I never once lied to you, Loki. You knew from the start that, yes, I did take you in because Thor asked me to. You knew what was going on between us wasn’t going to be easy. I’ve kept everything between us honest. If there were any lies, it came from you.” His blue eyes bore into my green ones, anger and another emotion I couldn’t place lighting his eyes as he spoke. I could feel myself slipping back to him, wanting to believe him.  
I looked away. “Even if that was true, Captain, nothing between us would be able to work. We are just too different, and in the end one of us would end up being hurt. There is already too much lost communication between us, too much for it to work.”  
“It can work though,” he said, his voice thick with conviction. “We just need to work together. We’ve been saying this whole time that we need to communicate, but for whatever reason it’s not happening.”  
I pulled away from him and walked over to lean against the wall with my hands, keeping my back to him. “It won’t work.”  
“It can work.”  
I shook my head. “It won’t.”  
I felt his hands on my back, running over my spin, up to my shoulders, down to my hips. I shivered and leaned into his touch unintentionally as my eyes slid closed. “Please,” I whispered.  
He wrapped his arms around my stomach, his chest pressed against my back, nuzzling his face into my neck. “I need you, Loki.”  
I took a deep shaky breath and leaned my head back onto his shoulder. “I don’t know what to do.”  
He pressed a gentle kiss to my neck and whispered, “I know I screwed up, but I promise you I will do everything in my power to make up for it all.”  
“I’m not sure you can.”  
“Can you let me try?”  
I clenched my fists against the walls and closed my eyes, “I’m not sure. You make me feel things that no one else has ever made me feel before and I’m…confused. How do you do this to me? Why do you do this to me?”  
He pressed another kiss to my neck and breathed against my skin, “You put up so many walls to keep everyone out, except me. You don’t want to shut me out. You love me.”  
I shook my head quickly, “I’m not-“  
“Don’t even,” the captain said, cutting my sentence off, “say that you are capable of love, because you are. You love your kids, your brother, your mother. If you can love them, you can love me.”  
“I can’t love you. If I do, they’ll take you away.”  
“No one will take me away, Loki. The only person that will make me leave you is you. Only you can end what is between us because I will do everything I can to fight for us. But you have to be willing to do it too. You can’t just run away whenever something frightens you.”  
“I didn’t.”  
“Yes,” he replied firmly, “you did. You ran away without letting me talk to you.”  
I shook my head, “No, I didn’t.”  
“Yes,” he repeated, “you did. You thought I had chosen Clint and Natasha over you. You were afraid I was going to leave you for them.”  
“That’s because you were.”  
He gently turned me around to face him and cupped me face in his hands. “I’d never leave you, Loki. Not for them, not for Asgard or S.H.I.E.L.D, not for anyone. I love you, Loki, and as long as there is breath in me I always will.”  
I leaned into his touch, wanting to believe him. Wanting every word he says to be true. I still couldn’t understand why I needed him so bad, why he made me want his touch and his love. I’m not sure I ever will understand. But in that moment, I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me, kissing his soft lips timidly.  
He kissed me back, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him. He deepened the kiss as he swiped his tongue along my lower lip before pulling it in between his teeth and biting it. I gasped, and he took advantage by pushing his tongue into my mouth, greeting mine. I moaned slightly as our tongues fought for dominance. It was clear soon that he would win, and I leaned into him wanting more of him.  
His hands slowly slid down to grip my ass and he lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist and pushing me up against the wall. Using his hips to pin me to the wall, he used his hands to grab my wrists and pulling my hands away from his neck and pinning them above my head against the wall.  
He broke the kiss and began trailing kisses down to my neck. He bit my neck gently and I moaned, leaning my head back to give him more room. He took advantage of that and began to pepper kisses and bites along my neck, sometimes leaving marks sometimes not. I moaned and began to squirm against him as I felt my blood start to pool down into my groin.  
“Steve,” I breathed out as his lips continued to move across my neck.  
He released one of my wrists only to wrap his other hand around both my wrists this time. Using his free hand, he pushed his hand up under my shirt moving his hand along my stomach. I shivered and bit my lip as his hand slowly moved up my stomach, up my ribcage, up my chest and to my nipple, giving on a small pinch. I arched my back as I cried out and I could feel a smile against my skin.  
He released my hands again, this time to wrap his arms around my body and carry me over to my bed. He laid me down gently before crawling over me, placing another kiss against my lips this one more passionate than the last.  
“I want you,” he whispered against my lips, his hands traveling along my sides, slowly pushing my shirt up.  
I nodded and kissed him back before saying, “I want you, too.”  
He smiled and sat up pulling me with him, so he could remove my shirt. I shivered once the cold air hit my bare chest, but it was soon replaced by the warmth of his chest as he laid me down again. I moved to run my hands along his back, but he quickly grabbed my wrists again in one hand and pinned them above my head again.  
He pulled away, saying, “Don’t touch. Let me take care of you.”  
I shook my head, trying to get my hands free, “I want to touch you.”  
He shook his head, “No. I’m going to release your hands now and you are to leave them there. If not, I’ll find another way to keep you from moving them.”  
I shivered at his words and nodded my acknowledgement, so he would release my wrists. Once he did he trailed both his hands down my body using his lips to follow their path. He stopped at one of my nipples and pulled it into his mouth, sucking on it only a bit roughly. I moaned and-without thinking-put my hands in his hair tugging at some of the strands.  
He stopped and pulled away, his blue eyes shinning with lust. “What did I tell you?”  
I bit my lip and whispered, “No touching.”  
“And what did you just do?”  
“I touched you.”  
He nodded. “That’s right.”  
He sat up, grabbing my discarded shirt and ripping a few strips from it. I watched him curiously as he used one strip to tie it around my wrists, binding them together. He placed my hands above my head and used another to loop it around the one around my wrists and tying it to the headboard I had created for my bed.  
He looked at me with a bit of concern before asking, “Is this alright?”  
I nodded, “I’m okay.”  
He nodded, “Let me know if it becomes too much.”  
I smiled and nodded, “Alright.”  
Even in the moment of passion, he still worried about me and if made my heart ache.  
He nodded and pulled his shirt off, exposing his broad chest. I moved to run my fingers down his chest, wanting to touch him, but the strips of my shirt wouldn’t let me move my arms. I groaned, and he smiled as he leaned down to kiss me.  
He slowly trailed kisses down my chest, to my stomach to my hips where he bit into my flesh there. I gasped and arched my back at the sudden pain. He began to undo my pants slowly, using his mouth to follow his hands as he popped open the button, then undo the zipper. He pulled my pants off leaving my exposed completely to the captain’s hungry eyes.  
“You are gorgeous,” he whispered.  
I looked away from him and bit my lip. “Lies.”  
He chuckled as he kissed my inner thigh, his hair brushing against my erection just slightly. “No lies,” he said against my thigh.  
I shivered and squirmed just a bit, wanting to be touched more. He glanced up at me as he moved so that his mouth was just over my cock. I could feel his breath running over my aching member and it made me groan. I watched as he wrapped his hand around me and gently licked the tip making me arch my back again. He smirked before taking just the tip of my cock into his mouth and sucking. I gripped my hands into fists and leaned my head back as I moaned. His tongue ran over the tip just before he pulled more of me into his mouth, the heat almost unbearable.  
“Steve,” I whimpered as he began to bob his head up and down along my cock, taking more in each time. I thrusted my hips up unintentionally making my lover grip my hips and hold me down.  
He continued working my member with his mouth as I whimpered and struggled against the bonds. I felt my release building and I gasped, not wanting to cum too soon.  
“Darling, I’m getting close,” I stuttered out.  
He pulled off of me and nodded, “Well, we don’t want that now do we?”  
I shook my head as I met his blue eyes as he sat up. He leaned over to kiss my lips and whispered, “Got any lube around here?”  
“Under the bed.”  
He smiled and moved to look under the bed to get the bottle. When he got it, he sat back up and poured some into his hand, coating his fingers with the slick liquid. He gently moved my leg so that it was thrown over his shoulder as he leaned down to kiss me. I could feel his slick fingers against my ass as the slid in between my cheeks, his fingers teasing my hole slightly. I moaned into his mouth as he pushed a single digit into me. It was a bit uncomfortable, but I knew the pleasure was soon to come.  
He slowly began to move his finger in and out of me, wanting to loosen me up a bit before he inserted another finger in beside the first. I groaned at the slight burn that accompanied the stretch as he began to scissor me. Soon a third was added and not long after that I was stretched enough.  
He slid his fingers out of me, making me whimper at the loss of being filled. He smiled at me as he took his pants off along with his boxers, finally as naked as I was. He poured more lubricant into his hand before coating his cock with it. Still with me leg on his shoulder he came back down to kiss me as he moved so that his erection was placed against my hole.  
“You still okay, Kitten,” he asked, wanting to make sure I was still fine.  
I nodded and looked up at him, trying to convey to him how much I wanted him and this. “Yes, I am.”  
He smiled and kissed me as he started to push into me. It hurt a bit as the head of his cock entered me, but it didn’t hurt as much as it would if he didn’t prepare me. He slowly continued to push into me until his hips was pressed against my ass. He stayed there for a moment, waiting for me to adjust to his size. I nodded after a minute and he slowly pulled out before pushing back in.  
He kept the pace slow as he thrusted in and out of me, searching for the one spot that would make me scream. Our breaths mingled together as we exchanged kisses and our bodies slid together from our sweat. Finally, he found my prostate and I arched my back as a moan slipped through my mouth.  
He smiled and continued to focus on that one spot as he began to thrust faster and deeper. I started to shiver as the feeling of my release coming came back to me. My lover noticed this and picked up the pace a bit more, kissing my neck. We both worked through, chasing our orgasms, wanting the release yet not wanting it to end.  
Finally, I cried out as I came spilling my seed in between us. I heard Steve moan as he continued to thrust into me a few more times before he released deep inside me.  
After that, we both laid there trying to catch our breaths. He kissed me again before pulling out and laying down beside me. I rolled over and rested my head against his shoulder, resting my hand on his chest. I listened to his heart beat rapidly along with his breath, both of which was slowly slowing down.  
He ran his fingers down my back as we laid there silently. For now, we weren’t going to talk. For now, we were going to take joy in just being together. I yawned and closed my eyes, slowly falling asleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a while to figure out how I was going to write this. I knew what I wanted to happen but I didn't know how to do it. I didn't want Loki to just go back to Steve without fighting, but I also didn't want to just make it seem like Loki had no issues with what happened.  
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.  
> Until next time.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Loki finally talk.

The fallen prince was asleep, curled up against the chest of the blond super soldier. Steve laid there, with an arm around Loki, stroking the god’s hair. Loki had his head resting on his chest and was taking slow deep breaths, his body relaxed and his mind at ease for now.   
The blond laid there, looking up at the rocky ceiling and sighed. A part of him feels content here, lying in bed with Loki in a small cave that had become the god’s haven for a little while. Yet, another part of him felt like this was only going to be an end. Steve never meant for them to sleep together before talking, but that’s what happened. Now, he wasn’t sure that they would be able to talk. He wasn’t sure if this would only lead them to ignoring the problem and pretending it never happened which would only put more strain on their relationship then there already is.  
He kissed the top of the god’s head before slowly extracting himself from Loki’s hold and standing up. The god muttered in his sleep before grabbing the pillow that Steve had been using and snuggling up to it. It was probably the cutest thing he had ever seen and he couldn’t help but have the urge to draw it, to capture it so he could keep the image frozen in time forever. He got dressed and stepped outside of the cave so he could tell the other’s what happened-excluding the sex.  
“Hey, guys, I found him.”  
Tony’s voice came over the com, “We kind of figured you did when we hadn’t heard from you. Must have been too busy having sex. Where are you and we’ll come get you.”  
Steve blushed and was glad that they couldn’t see his face as he looked back into the cave. “In a cave up the mountain. Don’t worry about coming to get me, we’ll find our way back.”  
He could hear Tony laughing on the other side of the com while Bruce was the one to reply. “We’ll be in town when you’re ready, just let us know.”  
Steve agreed and turned off the com before heading back inside. Loki was sitting up in bed, the sheets wrapped around his waist, his pale muscular chest completely exposed. His hair was a bit messy, but it looked sexy on him as he watched the captain with his piercing green eyes.  
“I thought you might have left,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair.  
Steve shook his head and went over to sit down on the bed. “I’ll never leave you, Loki.”  
Loki looked away, his hands gripping at the blanket making his knuckles turn white. “Don’t make promises you cannot keep, Captain.”  
Steve groaned and grabbed one of the god’s hands, unclenching it from the blanket so he could entwin their fingers together. “I will keep this promise, Kitten. Any promises I make to you, I make because I know I can keep them. I know I screwed up big time yesterday, but let me make it up to you, let me show you how much you actually mean to me. I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose, Loki. Sometimes, though, you just have to remember that I am human, I will make mistakes, just like you will. Just because I say something that upsets you, doesn’t mean that you should run away. You need to tell me so we can sit down and talk it through. I know this is scary, I know it’s confusing, believe me I know.” He took a breath and watched Loki as he spoke. “We are so different, you and I, but I know that we can be great together we just have to work together.”  
Loki, whose hand was limp in the captain’s hand throughout his speech, gently squeezed Steve’s hand. The god open and closed his mouth for a moment seeming to be, for once, lost for words. It took a moment for him to collect his thoughts. “How are we going to manage this, Steve? How are we going to be able to be together when we both make mistakes?”  
Steve smiled, almost as if he had been expecting this question. “We trust each other. We work together. We talk to each other. Communication is essential in a relationship, Loki. To make this work, we need to talk to each other and understand that mistakes will be made. We just can’t run and hide and pretend we aren’t hurt. I can’t promise that I won’t make any more mistakes or say the wrong thing, but I can promise that I will do everything in my power to be what you deserve. God knows you deserve better than me, but I want to be with you, Loki. I love you.”  
The god’s eyes were shinning as if they were filling with tears, but if they were, none were being shed. For a moment, Steve was almost worried that he had said the wrong thing, but then Loki smiled. He brought Steve’s knuckles to his lips and gave them a gentle kiss. “It is not I who deserves better, Love, it is you. I am a difficult man to be with. I don’t trust very easily, and I always tend to run from things when they come too close to breaking my heart. Political stuff, princely stuff, those I’m good at. But things that concern the heart,” he sighed and looked down. “It has been too long since I have given my heart to anyone. It has been too long since I have let myself feel anything for another person, knowing that in the end it will all be taken from me. The thought of giving my heart away, of letting someone else in and seeing the worst of me, terrifies me.”  
Steve nodded, “It terrifies me as well, Kitten. I’ve never been in a relationship with someone before and so I don’t know how to do it. It’s going to be something we both learn how to do together. If this is something we both want, we need to fight for it. Together.”  
Slowly, Loki pulled his hand away from the captain before going to stand up. The sheets fell away from his body as he stood, exposing his naked form unashamedly. He grabbed a pair of pants and threw them on before turning to look at his lover. “I want it, you I want this, I want us. However, I do not think it would work out. As you have said, we are different, maybe too different. In the end I think there would just be too much heartache.”  
Steve frowned and stood up, taking Loki’s hands in his. “But if we both want it, why can’t we make this work? You know we can make this work.”  
Loki shook his head, a strand of his hair falling into his face which he impatiently pushed back behind his ear. “I’m not sure that we can, Steve. All we do is just keep fighting, keep misunderstanding, keep running away. How can we make it work when we don’t know how to even begin to make this work?”  
“We work together. We both have to learn how to do this, Loki. It’s not just you. We can make this work, it’ll just take time and a lot of effort and communication but I know we can do it. I love you, Loki. You are who I want to be with, and I will fight for you.”  
Green eyes closed behind pale eyelids as the god took a deep breath in before whispering, “I can’t.”  
Fear of losing Loki for good crept through Steve’s whole being and he bit his lip. How could he get the god to understand how he felt? How could he get him to understand that they could make this work if they just both tried?  
They could do it. He knew they could do it. Loki just had to understand.  
“Tell me,” Steve said, his voice cracking with emotion. “Tell me this is what you want.”  
Loki opened his eyes and looked at the captain with confusion clear in his green eyes. “What do you mean?”  
Steve took a deep breath. “Tell me you want to end it. Tell me that not being with me is what you absolutely want. Tell me that not trying is what you want. Tell me that even though you want to be with me, you know deep down in your heart that us not trying to make this work is going to be better than putting us through all the pain. Tell me you want this. If this is what you want, Loki, what you truly want I’ll let you go. I’ll let you go.”  
Loki looked away from the captain and bit his lower lip before whispering, “It’s what I want.”  
It felt like Steve’s heart was breaking at Loki’s words. The god took a step back from him and turned away, his hands in fists. Steve took a step forward, reaching out to the god, not wanting to have distance between them. Tension was clear in the god’s posture, his shoulders and back tense as he pulled away from the soldier. “Please,” he whispered, “just go.”  
Steve lowered his hand and watched Loki. His heart was racing, and his chest was tightening. He was losing him.  
No, he had lost him.  
And maybe he lost him long ago.  
Steve took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright, I’ll go. But if you change your mind-”  
“I won’t,” the god whispered, interrupting Steve who carried on as if the god had never spoke.  
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”  
Loki nodded, but didn’t say another word or even turn to watch the captain as he turned around and left the cave.

“What do you mean, you let him go!” Tony exclaimed when Steve told him what had happened. Partly.  
When Steve found the guys after leaving the cave and Loki behind, he gave them an edited version of what had happened. He told them that they got into a fight and decided to go their own ways, with Steve walking away from the god for good. Neither Thor or Tony believed him, but he wasn’t sure if Bruce believed him either.  
“Exactly what I said. I let him go.”  
“Why,” Tony asked, exasperation clear in his voice, “would you do that?”  
“Because it was the right thing to do. For both of us.”  
Tony huffed in annoyance and turned to look at Thor and Bruce, “Do you hear that? It wouldn’t be the right thing to keep the murderous god under constant surveillance.”  
“What did you expect me to do Tony? Bound and gag him?” Steve snapped.  
The billionaire looked at the captain and nods. “Well, if you’re into that kind of thing, then yes.”  
“Tony, I think you might be being a bit insensitive to the situation,” Bruce said, trying to keep the conversation from getting heated. “It doesn’t matter why Steve didn’t drag him back here.”  
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter? What are we supposed to do; leave a mad god to his own devices? What if he decides to try and take over the world again?”  
“He won’t do that,” Steve cut in, very sure of the fact that Loki wouldn’t do it.  
Tony rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “And how are we to know that?”  
“Because I know he won’t.”  
“Oh,” Tony scoffed, “you know he won’t. Sorry if that doesn’t bring me comfort, Cap.”  
“I don’t know what more you want from me, Tony. I made a judgement call-”  
“Your judgement in clouded!” Tony cut in.  
Steve stood there and looked at his teammate. Maybe he was right. Maybe his judgement was clouded. He looked at Bruce and Thor and asked, “What about you guys? Do you think my judgement in clouded?”  
Bruce looked at Tony before turning back to the captain and shrugging. “I think that you might be too close to the situation to make a clear call. However, I also know that this wasn’t an easy decision for you to make.”  
Steve nodded, “It wasn’t.”  
“I believe you made a call on love, but I do not think that makes your judgement clouded,” Thor said.  
Tony threw his hands up in aggravation. “Are you guys serious?”  
Bruce turned on his best friend and crossed his arms over his chest. “And what if it was the other way around, but instead of it being Loki it was Pepper? Would you be able to make that call, Tony? Would you be able to drag her back when clearly she didn’t want to?”  
Tony looked shocked at his best friend for a moment before shaking his head. “I’d never have to make that decision.”  
“It would be too difficult of a decision for you to make, wouldn’t it?”  
Tony looked away and shrugged. “It doesn’t matter-”  
“Yes, it does. If you can’t make that decision how do you think Steve feels?”  
The billionaire glanced at the captain and shrugged before turning away. “Whatever. What’s done is done. I’ll keep surveillance on Reindeer Games to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble. Let’s get home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long delay. A lot happened that prevented me from making any updates. I ended up in the hospital and then when I got out school started up again and a bunch of other stuff including getting stumped as to what I wanted to write. Hopefully it won't be a long time when I update again.  
> Again, so sorry.  
> Hope you guys enjoy the chapter.


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